By Lana Moline
Don’t you love the scene in the movie when you find yourself talking to the screen just wishing the character would go in another direction? You’ve done it too! We’ve all yelled “NOOOOO,” “STOP,” “DON’T OPEN THE DOOR!” My personal favorite is when the signals are crossed and two people are trying to connect but somehow the information is mixed up. I find myself untangling the disconnect and just wishing that somehow they would make their way to one another. Maybe it’s because I believe in love or that everything can be resolved through mutual understanding. That’s just my way I suppose. Perhaps the main thing that becomes apparent in these scenarios is that something is lost, missed or that unnecessary confusion becomes the main character. It keeps us entertained in the movies but real life does not have to imitate art.
Relationships function much like blood vessels. Both embody incredible intricacies and are very sensitive. Experts who study physical and emotional health seem to conclude that they both remain a mystery that may never be fully understood. I took some time to read about blood vessels and this is what I found out. Of course we know that there are 3 types of blood vessels that carry blood through the circulatory system; arteries, capillaries and veins and they each have a specific function. What I found fascinating is that one of the main purposes for blood vessels connecting is in the event there is a blockage. Although they each have their own job to do, they connect to provide another route for the continuous flow of blood. As I thought about it, blood vessels function the same way our conscience does. It’s the voice on the inside that causes us to rethink or examine a decision just to make sure we handled something the right way. So maybe more than we realize there is truth to the saying “we are just wired that way.”
I had a tough conversation with a very close friend yesterday. We spoke about mixed signals, misunderstandings, intentional expression and expectations. We both had valid points and in the end realized that we were operating just like the characters in the movies. We were both right, having two different experiences on our way out the door to hang out but just headed to two different locations. Because we have been friends for a long time we take our cues from one another so as I retreated so did she, out of respect because she didn’t want to pry. It was an eye opener and today it is almost laughable because now I see what I should have seen before. I wasn’t as clear as I could have been in expression and certainly added to the disconnect. So there was no blame to be placed, only mutual understanding. What happens when the blood vessels operate properly mirrors what takes place with honest conversation. The flow continues and encourages optimal functioning.
I appreciate that friendship and all the relationships that I am blessed to have. I encourage everyone to allow yourself to be vulnerable with someone. Just give it a try even if you are afraid at first. We cannot live in this world alone and relationships are a source of comfort and joy. If you start slow and just find someone whose interest are similar to yours then spending time will be easy. Put yourself out there. You never know, you just might make a new friend and unlock the door to something wonderful.
Lana Moline is an integral part of the Blackloveandmarriage.com writing team, freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her at Lana Moline Speaks.