By Tina Jones
If you do everything right, can you keep a man from cheating? Is it the woman’s fault if he turns to infidelity? Is there anything you can do to keep him loyal forever? So many questions can haunt a relationship. You’ve seen it happen to others that you never expected would encounter this fate, but perhaps you can keep a man from cheating if you take some pre-emptive measures.
Get to know your potential competition.
There are no absolute guidelines that can tell you who will cheat and how to stop it. Some factors have nothing to do with your relationship at all—like opportunity. If he works in the salt mines with all men and comes home in the car pool ready for a beer and a nap, he will have little temptation to lead him astray.
But if he is a mid-level executive overseeing an office of 30 young women all trying to claw their way to the top, it might be a different story. Meet him for lunch once in a while, and drop in for a surprise visit to bring him a granola bar or an energy drink when you’re in the area. Bring the kids, once in a while. Get to know all of his coworkers, and let them see your affection and your happy family. Other women are less likely to cheat with a man when they know his wife and see the commitment. Be a real person instead of the anonymous “wife” or girlfriend to his pool of tempting lovelies.
Stand by your man.
Never abandon him emotionally, or you are asking for trouble. Men need validation and peace of mind, so if the home front is beleaguered by money problems, nagging, and feelings of inferiority and failure, he will need to find solace somewhere. He can’t call the guys and cry on their shoulder. You have other support systems in your mother and your friends, but you are his only lifeline. If you aren’t there to hold him up, no one is…except a sympathetic other woman.
Give him little compliments, a short shoulder rub, and a smile. He needs you to fill his emotional void, validate his ego and self-esteem, and comfort him physically. Do what you can to boost his confidence, and let him feel that he is fulfilling your needs. He needs your touch and your attentiveness.
Spice it up at home.
Variety is the spice of life, but it doesn’t have to be a variety of different women if you keep things lively and varied at home. Take him out to a motel sometime, or play out one of his fantasies (except for that one with two women) to give him a thrill. Change things around and don’t let your lovemaking fall into a rut of predictability. Jump on him for a morning session and send him to work with a satisfied smile, or tackle him when he gets home from work. Live out every aspect of your commitment if you want to keep a man from cheating.