Can You Keep A Man From Cheating?
By Tina Jones
If you do everything right, can you keep a man from cheating? Is it the woman’s fault if he turns to infidelity? Is there anything you can do to keep him loyal forever? So many questions can haunt a relationship. You’ve seen it happen to others that you never expected would encounter this fate, but perhaps you can keep a man from cheating if you take some pre-emptive measures.
Get to know your potential competition.
There are no absolute guidelines that can tell you who will cheat and how to stop it. Some factors have nothing to do with your relationship at all—like opportunity. If he works in the salt mines with all men and comes home in the car pool ready for a beer and a nap, he will have little temptation to lead him astray.
But if he is a mid-level executive overseeing an office of 30 young women all trying to claw their way to the top, it might be a different story. Meet him for lunch once in a while, and drop in for a surprise visit to bring him a granola bar or an energy drink when you’re in the area. Bring the kids, once in a while. Get to know all of his coworkers, and let them see your affection and your happy family. Other women are less likely to cheat with a man when they know his wife and see the commitment. Be a real person instead of the anonymous “wife” or girlfriend to his pool of tempting lovelies.
Stand by your man.
Never abandon him emotionally, or you are asking for trouble. Men need validation and peace of mind, so if the home front is beleaguered by money problems, nagging, and feelings of inferiority and failure, he will need to find solace somewhere. He can’t call the guys and cry on their shoulder. You have other support systems in your mother and your friends, but you are his only lifeline. If you aren’t there to hold him up, no one is…except a sympathetic other woman.
Give him little compliments, a short shoulder rub, and a smile. He needs you to fill his emotional void, validate his ego and self-esteem, and comfort him physically. Do what you can to boost his confidence, and let him feel that he is fulfilling your needs. He needs your touch and your attentiveness.
Spice it up at home.
Variety is the spice of life, but it doesn’t have to be a variety of different women if you keep things lively and varied at home. Take him out to a motel sometime, or play out one of his fantasies (except for that one with two women) to give him a thrill. Change things around and don’t let your lovemaking fall into a rut of predictability. Jump on him for a morning session and send him to work with a satisfied smile, or tackle him when he gets home from work. Live out every aspect of your commitment if you want to keep a man from cheating.
Appreciate you writing the article. What was not emphasized is the man (or woman if she is the accused) has a choice to make (cheat or not cheat). Regardless to how you look, take care of home, etc. a conscious choice is made by the accused. If that accused wants to make a selfish decision to cheat that is what will happen. Women (and men) can only control themselves–never another person.
Men get tempted more easily than women. Tht’s y keeping account of your man’s activities is very important. StealthGenie spy software for Android and Blackberry mobile phones is of great significance. It will bring to you all that you have been seeking to know about your man and prevents your relation from breakage.
http://www.blackloveandmarriage.com/2011/07/can-y…
hmmm…Certainly a man's lady can increase or lessen the chances of his cheating, but a good deal of it is about him. I've known men who were given every possible reason to cheat, but stayed faithful. I've also know men who were treated like kinds in an out of bed, who still cheated.
We need to strike a balance on what we teach on this – on the one hand we can put too great a burden on the women while letting the men off the hook. On the other hand, we can put it all on the man and fail to let women know what they can do to reduce his temptation.
No, you can't keep your man from cheating. Every person is responsible for his/her actions, a woman can't control a mans actions no more than he can control hers; people have to be accountable for their own actions. I don't care what reason a person gives when he cheat, it is real simple, if you want to cheat, tell your significant other, let them decide whether or not they want to be in an open relationship. Cheating simply says to me that your not ready for a committed relationship; be honest about that!
Thank you for this article as all of your others because I feel that this is an age old question that many women try to answer and try to receive the answer from faithful men. I was watching a youtube video on "How to keep your man from cheating" and the brotha–though being comedic–mentioned about keeping your man fed. It brought me to want to do a show "How to keep your man from cheating or is it possible?" on Caffeine with FJ Carter on Blog Talk Radio next Sunday 9/18/11 4:30pm-6:30 pm Est/ 3:30pm Cst/ 1:30 pm Pst http://www.blogtalkradio.com/majestic-pen/2011/09… or call in 1(619) 789-6819 to listen or press 1 to speak!
I love you guys and you are an inspirational attribute to the AA community for offering the perfect example of what Love truly means!
Awwww. Thanks so much!
My recent post Negative Emotions: How To Get A Grip Before They Get A Hold Of You
Some men cheat simply because that's all they know and all they are is a "Cheater". Most likely if you have a man who one married for the cause of appearing to be stable, grounded and some even for money, those who marry because they are nagged and hounded by family (Mothers especially) for children (grandchildren), also nagged by women after long term relationships but aren't ready for that "plunge" often times will cheat. Additionally, if you see that a man has a history of cheating characteristics in his life in general especially one who cuts corners to get to the top on that high end promotion, one who cuts others out of their "Over dues" and one who cheats in the reality of life will most likely cheat on you! If they cheat others, don't count yourself out on the cheating realm because most likely your cheat is somewhere on that list and you may or may not be aware.
I was a fool once before but never again. Everyone makes a mistake but dealing with a long term cheater is only a joke on you by you! Love self, no one deserves to be forced to share at any costs.
Certainly a man's lady can increase or lessen the chances of his cheating, but a good deal of it is about him. I've known men who were given every possible reason to cheat, but stayed faithful. I've also know men who were treated like kinds in an out of bed, who still cheated.
We need to strike a balance on what we teach on this – on the one hand we can put too great a burden on the women while letting the men off the hook. On the other hand, we can put it all on the man and fail to let women know what they can do to reduce his temptation.
My recent post Study could mean men are not selfish pigs in bed.
It depends on the brother. If he's that sort, then the woman could be all that and then some, and he's gonna stray, 'cause that's just who he is. If a brother needs someone to talk to, or wants a little more lovin' he can open his mouth and ask his wife to meet his need. If he doesn't do this, and cheats instead, he was just looking for an out to do what he wanted to anyway.
Don't beat yourself up, ladies. Some of the brothers just ain't got what it takes to roll in a honest way with one woman over a long period of time.
I think this is a good article on how to keep your man happy-but what happens when you do all of the above plus more and he still steps out? I think it is all in the person. My husband has cheated on me, and while once he was found out-he immediately wanted to work things out, and he wanted to go back to the way things were. I on the other hand wanted a divorce because in my opinion once you break that trust-that committment-that love, whats left? Needless to say-I am still here, not happy but here trying to see what happens but at the end of the day it really depends on the person. My husband's claim was he wasn't getting enough sex-well we can't have sex before six to eight weeks after having a baby. We can't have sex when the baby is constantly crying because he is sick-and I am the only one up with him at night…its all greed, and greed has no face or gender.
I agree with all of the above. I did all of this in my marriage..appreciate, alleviate, anticipate, and treated my husband like a king. Read numerous books to give me and insight about emotional being, respect etc. The reason i read all of the books because he cheated and I was trying to find solace in what i thought was a marriage that was probably doomed. He insisted he wanted the marriage to work and he didn't want to be with her. But then it didn't take long for hime to cheat numerous times after. To this day he still hides his cell phone @ times. My Opinion-I think it depend on the individual-I know some men that don't and woiuldn't cheat. Most of the books i read about my husbands behavior all come back to emotional abuse and an unprecitable home environment.