It’s A New Day…Are You Where You’re Supposed To Be?

What’s that tingly sensation inside of you that won’t go away?  You can’t eat it away, drink it away, smoke it away, or bull sh%t it away.  It’s always there…around every corner, under every bed, in the corner of every attic.  Wherever you go…THERE IT IS.  It is the call of PURPOSE.  You can’t escape it because it’s that constant call to attention.  You feel good when you acknowledge and embrace it.  It provides direction, motivation, and encouragement.  Purpose is the steering wheel…allowing you to be in control of your life.

Fasting With Ayize & Aiyana: Day 2

To Join the “Fasting With Ayize & Aiyana” Facebook Group click the link below:

Come and join us….whether you fast for 1 hour, 1 day, 1 month or the remaining 40 days…your decision to sacrifice something is what’s most important.


Fasting With Ayize & Aiyana: Day 1

By Ayize & Aiyana

Hey Family! You may or may not have heard—but we’re fasting! This is a big deal in our house. We’ve never fasted before and we are kinda….scared! Lol. But, we’re excited too. There are specific goals we’re working towards and habits we need to eliminate as well as strengthen to turn the corner on some issues we’ve been dealing with in our lives. Here’s a little snapshot of why we are each fasting and a little video where we discuss our process in more detail We hope you’ll join us at some point and then share how it was for you and what you gained from it. We will be fasting for 4o days and you can do it the entire 40 days with us or for for 1 week or 1 day! It’s entirely up to you. We’re not promoting any one kind of fast. We are:

1. Promoting the Spiritual & Health Benefits of Fasting

2. Sharing our experience with you in an effort to be an inspiration AND hold ourselves accountable (that’s a big reason right there ya’ll because if we don’t hold ourselves out for others to see we often don’t follow through on things.)

3.Attempting to shift ourselves onto a new plane of spiritual, emotional, and physical development. We are trying to grow! Real Talk–We’ve been lazy, a little overwhelmed, and sluggish in more ways than one and while we could point to an array of excuses (-we have a child with special needs who just had surgery, we have a million jobs between the 2 of us, we have four kids, we counsel people day and night, we blah, blah, blah….) THERE ARE NO EXCUSES. You get out of your life what you put into it–bottom line. So, we’re putting in our very best for the next 40 days.

Aiyana is fasting for: DISCIPLINE

-Spiritual and physical discipline

-The elimination of barriers (real and perceived) that keep me from moving forward in my life specifically in our counseling& coaching practice.

-Increased discipline financially so that my husband and I can take ourselves and our family to the next level in what we experience in the money we have coming in, how we manage it, and what we contribute to the world around us.







We will also be eliminating AHHHHH!!!!!! TELEVISION during the week for our entire family and only watching on weekends beginning September 3oth.  PRAY FOR US YA’LL!!!! AND PLEASE SHARE ANY TIPS OR WHAT YOU ARE DOING/HAVE DONE! EACH ONE TEACH ONE!

Ayize is fasting for: DISCIPLINE

– dietary discipline (i’ve been putting too much crap in my body and it needs to stop

– emotional discipline (i often act on impulse and I need to control my feelings vs allowing my feelings to control me)

– financial discipline (be mindful, develop a plan, and execute)

*My fast includes sacrificing in such a way that I gradually eliminate different things that I struggle with.

Days 1-40: No carbonated beverages

Days 13 – 40: No “self stimulation”

Days 27 – 40: No processed foods

Some extra info:

Types of Fasting:

Dry fasting, liquid fasting, and partial fasting

There are numerous types of fasting, all of which offer the same many healing benefits. Oftentimes, it seems people develop a preference for one certain type or method, and then feel as if the other methods are inferior.


In actuality, all types of fasting have something to offer. Depending on each person’s individual lifestyle, health issues, goals, and body chemistry, different methods of fasting will be appropriate for different people. You can choose a method that is appropriate for you right now. And, since all things change, tomorrow you may choose differently. Nothing could be more natural.


There is nothing to lose in attempting a fast. There is no failure, for even if you “fail” to achieve your stated goal, you will have learned and experienced much of value.


Use the information here to find, or create, a method of fasting that feels right for you now, that fits your goals and your lifestyle, and that you feel a motivation (not dread) toward.


All types of fasting give the same multitude of benefits. You don’t need to do a fast with the word “cleanse” or “detox” in it to rid your body of unwanted toxins. Nor do you need to do a “spiritual” fast in order to benefit spiritually. All types of fasting will lead you on a path to better and higher places.


Your job is to pick among the types of fasting, one that appeals to you, and will work within your lifestyle and responsibilities. Keep in mind, the more severe the fast, the poorer your diet has been, and the less preparation you make, the more detox “symptoms” you are likely to have. For some people, these can be uncomfortable enough to force them into bed.


My first water fast had me, at the end of the first day, in bed with the worst migraine I’d ever had. I had done zero preparation for this fast and was suffering for it. Life responsibilities were such that I chose to end the fast a little early so I could return to functionality. Within a couple hours of breaking it (with a little piece of fruit), I was at least able to get around.


Juice and fruit fasts are more gentle as the detoxing occurs more gradually. I’ve done many fruit fasts and have always felt relatively good — no severe pain or discomfort, just a few aches or a slight headache.


Weigh the options and take an honest look at your life and how much you can sacrifice. Doing a fast that will create strong cleansing and detoxing symptoms will require a lot more dedication from you. Do you have someone to take over your responsibilities? How uncomfortable are you willing to be? How much discomfort can you tolerate? Taking pain killers during a fast is definitely NOT a good idea.


Do you like the idea of cleansing without a great deal of discomfort? It is absolutely possible, and some professionals feel it is healthier to avoid the extreme symptoms, citing the dangers of releasing too many toxins into the blood stream at one time. So you absolutely can take it slower and more comfortably.


A good plan is to start with one-day juice or fruit fasts. Do this once per week until you have few or no detox symptoms, then try a 16-hour or one-day water fast. Slow is always the way to go, whether you’re fasting for weight loss or for detox. Eventually, when you’ve rid your body of years of stored toxins and pollutants, you will be able to enjoy the fasting highs others talk about, without any unpleasant side effects.

Categories of fasting methods

Dry fasting. Also known as Absolute Fast, Black Fast, and Hebrew Fast. The most extreme of the types of fasting, dry fasting has spiritual roots, and consists of foregoing food and water for short periods. While not necessarily recommended, it is interesting to read about.

Liquid fasting. As the name implies, this is fasting on liquids only. The liquid fasting page offers an overview of the variety of liquids used in this type of fasting both today and in the past.

Water fasting is the simplest and perhaps the oldest form of liquid fasting. It delivers the greatest level of therapeutic benefit physically and in a short period of time, as detox occurs more quickly. But a water fast can be more difficult to commit to for the beginner.


Juice fasting is extremely popular and offers a modicum of nutritional support in a pure and natural form. Almost any fruit or vegetable can be juiced with the powerful juicers on the market.


The Master Cleanse or Lemonade Diet is a relatively new approach, becoming popular in the 1970s. It includes calories in the form of pure maple syrup. Intestinal cleansing is a major part of the methodology.


Partial fasting. Also sometimes called selective fasting, partial fasting includes some solid food–anywhere from a very little to a lot of solid food. It’s not the amount of food, but the exclusion or limitation of certain foods that makes it a partial fast. Cleansing diets and mono-diets, like rice fasting, are partial fasts.

Excerpted From


The Unauthorized Ma’at Tell All

By Lana Moline

I have been a part of this wonderful family at Black Love and Marriage for a couple years now.  Through all the interactions all across the globe, I have learned to love stronger and purpose to live a life full of intentional joy.  You’ve heard them say it “Be Intentional – Stop Playing, Start Pushing” and I admit that I need the straight talk that they always bring.  When I sat down to update my blog it occurred to me that although they are truly an open book, there are some things that The Ma’ats have not said and I am here to tell it all – right here, right now.
Of course that is just for effect but I what I do want to share is the fact that they are examples of what they speak.  It is not easy to encourage and motivate couples, singles, mothers, fathers and families all while maintaining your own.  Please understand that whenever anyone attempts to guide others in motivation, opposition comes.  Yet they stand together, united, hand in hand with their kids in an effort to help both you and I be all that we can be to and with our families.  Yes, I am telling it all today.
I know that one time, they reached out to a wife and mother of 3 who was overwhelmed because of all the hats that she wore and through the grace of God encouraged her to continue to give beyond the point where she thought she had nothing left to give.  I know for a fact that this one time they offered to walk with a couple who decided that they were throwing in the towel and they walked and walked and walked with that couple until they saw the reemergence of hope.  I can’t say for sure but I heard that one day they gave their last to someone who they understood needed it more.  Also, I got on good authority that many of the stories they tell and many of the examples they present are fruit of their experiences in their own relationship.  Yes, that is what I heard.
I heard that they offer their hurt and sorrow to God and allow Him to use it to bless others.  I even saw them on television and guess what – there were saying the same thing.  Sure, my news may not exactly be scandalous but it is extremely important.  Every day thousands of us log in to receive doses of inspiration and for that we are extremely grateful.  I am personally honored to be a part of the team and pray continued success.  This was not their attempt to blow their own horns but I wanted each of us whose lives they have touched to take a moment to comment below.

Lana Moline is an integral part of the writing team, freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her atLana Moline Speaks.

Post Surgery “Break It Down”

There’s nothing like good old fashion family time….especially after going through a hard time.  After 4 months of wearing a fixator, our son, Asante had surgery today to have it removed.  I was excited….he was excited…and Aiyana was sooo excited that she did a post surgery “break it down”.  Asante joined in and started tapping his crutches to the beat.  It never ceases to amaze me how resilient and courageous he is.  Asante is a blessing to us and continues to be a blessing to many as he continues his journey.  We love you Asante : )

Are Your Assumptions Holding You Back?

By: Andrea Novakowski

“I can’t possibly do this. It’s too hard.”

“This isn’t worth my time. It’s too easy.”

Do you frequently find yourself making judgments like these? If so, you may be a victim of your assumptions. Imagine if Thomas Edison had said, “Inventing the light bulb is too hard!” Or if Michael Jordan had decided practicing took too much time and had a slim chance of paying off, so why bother.

Our assumptions often come from events that happened long ago, during suggestible or vulnerable periods in our lives.Perhaps you were told as a kid that you couldn’t write or sing or draw. So now, when creative opportunities arise, you automatically tell yourself you can’t do it and don’t even try. A lifelong assumption can easily be based upon a single incident. I got a D on a paper I wrote for my 5th-grade science class. From that one poor grade, I drew the conclusion that I wasn’t good at writing – anything, ever.

This is what I mean by outdated evidence. The person I am today is not the person I was when I had that experience and formed that decision.

Sometimes assumptions are born in our environment. These are the toughest kind of assumptions to recognize, because they’re so powerfully reinforced by our parents, our teachers, our friends, our bosses and our co-workers. For instance, we have a pervasive belief in our culture that we need to be doing something every waking moment. Not just something, but something productive. It’s not acceptable to go for a leisurely walk or enjoy your lunch – no, you must be multitasking. You must talk on the phone with a client while you’re walking. Work at your desk while eating.

In reality, pausing in your workday helps you accomplish more (and it’s good for your mental health, too). When you take a break, it allows your brain to make connections that might not have been possible when you were consciously trying to solve a problem.

A third type of assumption springs from our instinctive dislike of the unfamiliar. When change comes along – and it always does – we treat it with suspicion. We dig in our heels and resist. We’ve set up our lives a certain way, and we don’t like surprises. Change taps into our fear of not being in control. When we’re not in control, everything feels out of control.

Suppose you know you can do the report faster and better than your new employee. Heck, you’ve done it a hundred times. But if you don’t start delegating, you’re going to get further and further behind in your work. Sure, it feels risky to entrust the report to someone else – but you hired this person to provide support. Why not give the directions and see what happens? You never know: your new employee could add new twists, ideas, and data that enhance the report’s success. Fresh eyes often bring new insights.

What’s so damaging about assumptions is that they tend to be invisible. Our assumptions are the unconscious filters through which we interpret our world. We may be operating from guiding principles that are inaccurate – and not even be aware of it.

That’s not to say that all your assumptions are, by definition, incorrect. But if you don’t take the time to examine them, you’ll never know. And false assumptions could be holding you back from exploring all the possibilities in your life.

This week, whenever you find yourself thinking, “I can’t possibly…” stop for a moment and notice whether it might be an old assumption rearing its head.Next time, we’ll discuss how to challenge your assumptions, so you can move beyond them.


Lee Daniels Talks About Being Gay And Why Black Men Don’t “Come Out”

Movie director Lee Daniels recently sat down with Larry King and candidly shared the struggles he went through growing up as a gay black man.  He says he was beaten when he came downstairs one Sunday in his mother’s red pumps.  In his interview he provides insight in to why black men have chosen to not come out.  He suggest that remaining on the “down low” is hurting our community because black men are giving black women HIV.  Check out the interview and let us know what you think.

You Cannot Change What You Will Not Acknowledge

By Aiyana Ma’at

We all have issues. That’s no secret. We’re all human and we’re all works in progress. That’s no secret either. However, sometimes the obvious can be the most difficult thing to see….  Many of us know that if we want something to stop, start, go away, come back, CHANGE in our relationships….we have to bring the  issue to the person we’re having it with. EVEN if the issue is with ourselves— yes that’s what I said—with ourselves. No matter who the issue is with it cannot be healed if it is not revealed.

This may seem like basic knowledge but you’d be surprised at how many of us do not operate in alignment with this basic principle in mind. We may know it but do we really know it?

Listen in as I talk more about this essential principle and ask yourself if there is something you need to acknowledge today if you truly and genuinely want it to change. No judgement. Just be honest. Acknowledge it & release the power of true Change in your life and your relationships today.



Your Stuff Stinks Too

One of the things that we need in order to have better relationships is EMPATHY.  Empathy allows you to be sensitive to another persons experience and show compassion for where they’ve been, who they’ve been, where they are, who they are, and where/who they want to be.  I’m willing to bet that if you show more empathy….your relationship will show up better than you ever believed.

Stop Playin’ and Start Pushin’ yall.

Ending My Rendezvous With Fear

By Lana Moline
There are many wonderful things going on in our lives.  From all accounts of praise reports via texts, facebook updates and our day-to-day interactions, it is obvious that God is blessing and we have all been recipients of His unmerited favor at one point or another.  However, there is a little dance that many of us do that we simply must stop.  No, I’m not talking about the macarena or the slide or whichever one happens at many wedding receptions.  I am talking about the tango that we do with fear.  We allow fear to hold us close and dip us ever so gently into a place where we forget that fear is jealous of potential.
Fear is slick because it touches the place in us where our vulnerabilities lie.  It brings with it our favorite blanket, our comfort food and any thing that puts us in a state of mind that causes us to remain exactly where we are.  It plays our favorite music and whispers things like “that’s just too hard don’t worry about trying” and “let someone else step up, that’s just too much work.”  Yes, fear has game.  It’s like a combination of Jordan, Shaq and Dwayne Wade with a fundamental wisdom, strength and vigor.  In other words, it dominates if we let it and has no problem sitting on the bench for a minute because during that time, it studies our every move.
So now, I must say good riddance to fear and end this horrid affair that I have allowed for far too long.  My joy is too important to just hand it over without a fight.  My peace is a gift that my Heavenly Father promises to me if I simply ignore fear and focus on Him.  For far too long I have opened the window for fear at night when everyone was sleeping and kept company when no one was looking but today I am turning the alarm system on before I go to bed and letting my true love have all of me.  Be gone fear!  You are not welcomed here.  In fact, you are interrupting the trip to my orchestrated destiny designed by my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Last I checked I didn’t see your name on my itinerary.  I saw the names ambition, courage and growth but nope – fear was not on the list.  So I’m guessing you will need somewhere else to stay.
Truth is, we’ve been together for a while but things just aren’t working out for us.  I can honestly say that I am not the person for you because what I want and what you want are just too different and I’m afraid we will never see eye to eye.  Sure, we have had some moments where we’ve hidden under the cover but since that time my Heavenly Father has introduced me to a peculiar group who desires to put me on the fast track to a more integral position in the body of Christ and that offer is extremely more fulfilling and exciting.  You must understand that this decision is not one that I have reached on a whim but rather years of feeling blah because of your presence.  You are a thief, fear and I am putting in a 911 call and taking out a restraining order in case you think that this is a joke.  I want all that God has for me.
 Lana Moline is an integral part of the writing team, freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her atLana Moline Speaks.