By Ilex Bien-Aime
Karma, Fellas… Do You Reap What You Sow?
“Karma” – Hinduism, Buddhism. Action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation.
Galatians 6:7 “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”
I am sure that if I did a word study that I would find other similar definitions of what happens to a man when he makes certain decisions. When you are younger and foolish, you may not think about the consequences of your actions. Maybe it’s the pursuit of getting what we want that keeps us from paying attention and/or maybe we feel that we will take our punishments later?
It’s so crazy to see what I have become and what my friends have become. We are now husbands, fathers, uncles, and God fathers. Our views of the world seem to be different than they were a few years ago. These guys used to run the streets with me and do some crazy things but now we are different people. Some of us however, have not had the good sense to change.
Most of us men are peculiar creatures. We like to dish out evil stock but we really do not want the return on our investments. You see now we are afraid of having daughters because we look back at some of the things we used to do. When we think about our war stories, they suddenly don’t seem all that funny anymore – at least not when our little princesses or nieces come to mind.
When men are younger, we feel no sense of responsibility and ties – we felt that we could do whatever we pleased. All we wanted was to fulfill our needs and so some of us lied and did all manner of evil to get what we wanted from women. It didn’t matter that she was someone’s child. At this point in time, our Vulture mentality was at its absolute peak.
It’s crazy but I hear my friends talk about what they are going to do to men if they try to disrespect their daughters and nieces. The running joke that most men make is that we are going to buy our shotguns for these little boys trying to pursue our pride and joy. What is sad about this in many cases is the fact that some of us are disrespecting the mothers of our daughters even to this very day. We want our child to have a healthy dating life and yet we are sowing a terrible seed in our own lives.
Think about what some of us are doing fellas – I know it sounds crass but I know of girls in college who have been recorded having sex with a guy and then have that tape blasted all around the school. I know of naked pictures and compromising situations in which many of my friends have had women.. Though I was probably the most tame of my friends, I was definitely no saint.
Maybe if we realized that these women were someone else’s children and family members, we probably would not have been so eager to disrespect them. It’s crazy how most men don’t have a problem with seeing a woman’s behind jiggle in a thong while tossing dollars at her, but let that be his daughter and someone has to die. It seems as if no one has a problem with watching someone else’s daughter do filthy things for money but when that kid is ours, we will try to sue the distribution company so that no one will be able to watch the tape. Now we seem to care about what we call women because it’s not too kosher to hear knuckleheads calling our babies out of their names.
Have we doomed our daughters by our own foolish actions? Clearly this is not always the case but this does make me reflect on my disrespect of women. When you look into your little girl’s eyes, you think about all of the things that you hope she will become. We often forget that the women that we hurt and disrespected are daughters themselves. Maybe if we think about what our future princesses will mean to us, we wouldn’t be so quick to hurt other peoples’ princesses!
My name is Ilex Bien-Aime and I live in Washington, DC with my lovely wife. I write as a man who has seen women mistreat themselves and who have allowed themselves to be mistreated. I write as a man who wants to give my future daughters a guideline on how to deal with men. Lastly I write what I write because my female friends are always asking my opinion about these situations.