Fear is a Mother F#%ker!

By Traci Femister

What is it that keeps us sitting still in-spite of the dreams, hopes and desires swelling up in our hearts and minds?  It keeps us in a seemingly safe place of not failing that leads to nowhere because it paralyzes us.  It convinces us that tomorrow is “the” day because today you have to…what? Watch a certain TV show, cheer on someone else who is making strides towards their goals or better yet, spending time talking and critiquing someone who is making it happen (which is also called “Hatin’”).  It also finds us commiserating with like-minded, doing much of nothin’ folks.  Gosh darn it…it’s fear and fear is a mother f%$&ker!

I have coached and talked ‘til my mouth is dry to folks who want it but have done little to get it.  Others get some advice and run like the wind towards their finish line.  I too have been that fearful dreamer with all kinds of hopes and doubts that tug and pull at each other in my mind every hour of the day. We all have qualities, education, professional backgrounds, and colleagues willing to assist us, but are we accessing all of those resources? Or are we stuck in a virtual world where we get a false sense of satisfaction because we are tweeting to our “followers” or posting to our “friends”?  All that “communicating” and we really have not moved forward on our paths.  It’s all just a bunch of f’ing fear!

The answer is to kick fear in the ass!

To start, write down and post one goal where everyone…yes EVERYONE can see it.  Just one goal and make sure it is one that is achievable.  If it is getting a new job, ya might not want to post that one on your cubical wall. Maybe put a sign up that reads, “advance in my career”.   So because I have a long background in helping folks find the confidence to kick fear’s ass and get a new gig…that’s what I’ll focus on.

Don’t be afraid to:


  • Ask for help.  Career coaches, Small Business Administration, www.LinkedIn.com for someone in your field as a mentor or even www.meetup.com. Find some one whom WILL GAIN (operative words) from your success and add a level of accountability to your process. Also answering to someone has always put a little more fire under my fanny!
  • Take a class or join a group to gain specific knowledge…Toast Masters is great for helping you understand how to effectively verbally convey your message.
  • Network like there’s no tomorrow.  Everywhere you go, let folks know the who, what and how about you.  What your offer.
  • Not sure what you offer…refer to the first bullet and get a coach. They will definitely help you understand your skills and your worth.
  • Scared to talk about yourself?  Pretend you are talking about someone else.  No, don’t refer to yourself in third party, which will make you look cocky and a bit crazy but look at yourself as a service.  What problem does your skill solve? How have you helped others? Who have you helped?
  • Practice in the mirror…yes, just like you use to pretend you where Michael Jackson using a wooden spoon as a mic when you were younger (and probably perfected your moonwalk in the process) get in front of the mirror or a friend or join a local Toast Masters group and practice your spill.
  • Ask for “fo’ real” feedback.  A balance of humility and confidence is very attractive and works socially as well.

Good luck in kicking fear’s fanny! I know you can do it!!

 Traci Femister, former corporate staffing executive and current transition specialist and career and business coach for Private Luxury Unwrapped (assist professionals moving around and into Fortune 500 and small businesses nationally).  Reach her directly at Traci@PrivateLuxuryUnwrapped.com.

1 reply
  1. Karen
    Karen says:

    Wow…you speakin the truth to me today. I love it.

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