By Robert Johannsen
Ever notice how men talk about ‘having sex’ while women talk about ‘making love?’ That kind of hits the nail on the head when it comes to how men and women approach sex. Men are pretty direct when it comes to sex — they are aroused easily, usually by visual stimulation, what they see. Women are much more complex, and require a more complicated experience to become aroused and take longer.
While that sounds simple, (and it is!) if you are going to improve your sexual technique, you must keep it in mind constantly.
So lets have a look at this ‘more complicated experience,’ and see what we can learn.
Women enjoy sex with more of their senses, touch, smell, taste, and hearing. Notice that I did NOT say sight. Women are aroused by sight as well as the other senses, but this is secondary.
Women love things like ‘taking your time’, ‘anticipation’, and ‘foreplay’ because they make the experience richer and involve more senses.
Lets look at a few of these in more detail:
Women love to hear romantic sensual things. Notice that is sensual not sexual language. Women love to hear you describe your feelings. Men are more direct and want to hear things like, “you are so big.” Women like to hear things like, “your skin is so soft.”
Women love to be touched and stroked. Stroking, cuddling, and touching is all great stuff that arouses women. Stroke her lightly with the tips of your fingers up and down her body, avoiding sexual areas. There will be lots of time for that later! Build up tension and anticipation.
This could be scented candles or incense. Women love smelling and being smelled.
Women love to be fed all kinds of wonderful things like strawberries, sweets, and wine.
While generally women are not turned on by sight, most women love to look into your eyes. This kind of ultra-romantic stuff is a huge turn-on for most women.
Kissing is a kind of touching. Our lips have tons of nerve endings in them which is why contact with our lips feels good. Make kissing an experience instead of jumping right in with your tongue! Lightly brush her lips with yours and then pull away. Keep doing this ‘brushing’ contact, and you will excite the nerve ending on both of your lips. Play with your lips lightly and gently.
Remember when you were learning to drive? One of the first things you learn is – don’t gun the engine while its cold! Well sex is just like that!
Robert Johanssen has written widely on sex, sexuality, couples, relationships and singles.