By Neil Poston
Is it too soon to Date Again?
You realize that life after divorce can be lonely. You are feeling as if you might be ready to go out and make some new relationships, but you question yourself wondering if it might be too soon. When is it okay to start dating again?
This is really up to YOU. No one lives your life but you. If you find that you are ready to begin dating again or life offers up an opportunity, you will know. If, however, you try to begin dating, but feel uncomfortable, you may not be ready.
So are you looking for a time frame? There are many different reasons people get divorced. There are many years couples have been out of love within a marriage and just stay in it for the kids, or because of the presumed difficulty of the legality of the split. Does it matter how long you’ve been married? Does it matter if you have kids? Not really. If you’ve had a loveless marriage and become separated, take the time to heal yourself in your heart and your mind, be sure your relationship is over and go ahead and get out there.
It could be as little as a month or two or it could be as long as a few years. If it is a few months, be sure the person you begin dating is aware of the circumstances and understands there is no promise of a relationship. Do not flaunt your dating status to your ex because it may take him/her much longer to close the door to the relationship and it just may hurt them more than you can imagine. If you have kids, be extremely gentle with their emotions inviting a stranger into their world. You may not want to hide the fact that you are dating because if they are old enough they might support you but you also don’t want to bring possible changes into the home because they could be short-lived.
Family is forever. But at some point one of you will find another mate. Trust in your intuition and if it’s too soon, it’s too soon. If you’re ready to put yourself out there shortly after the split, then do it. Just remember to be sensitive to your ex’s and children’s emotions.
Be confident and live your life. No one else is going to.