Marriage 101: Small Things Truly Count. How Are Your Hello & Good-Bye Rituals?

By Aiyana Ma’at

“Hi Honey , I’m, Home!”, “Hi Baby, How was your day?” “Hey Sweetie, Where’s my kiss?” These are all examples of what I like to call “Greeting Rituals”. Rituals are habits that build and strengthen a relationship. They are so important. We all have rituals in our marriages. They can be wonderful or not so great. Greeting Rituals are a part of the “small things” that we tend to over look sometimes. But, hear me when I sat that it is truly the small things that count. It makes a world of difference in how I feel when my husband comes home, walks straight over to me, puts his arms around my waist, kisses me on the neck and says “Hey Baby, I missed you today. How was your day?” And, I must say my sweetie does a pretty good job of it. 🙂

I read this scenario the other day:

One couple had the following “greeting ritual” at night when the husband came home:

He would first greet the dog and hug the kids. Then he would go into his bedroom, change his clothes, and watch the news, followed by a visit to the bathroom. Finally he would wander into the kitchen and mutter something to his wife, for example, “Let’s eat fast so we can get to the PTA meeting!”

One might say that such a ritual was not exactly increasing their love for each other.

So after watching how their dog greeted them every time they came home, this couple decided to come up with a new ritual. Elated dogs jump all over their masters and lick them. So they decided to greet each other like dogs. They started jumping up and down and hugging each other. They really got into it. They had fun and the kids got a kick out it, too.

As silly as it may sound our actions affect the way we feel. Take a minute to think about your  Hello and good-bye rituals. What could you do differently that will change the energy between you and your spouse dramatically?

And, while we’re talking about rituals….here are some other important rituals you and your spouse should try working on:

* Daily e-mailing each other with a compliment.

* Daily phone call. (especially important for husbands to do)

* Anniversaries deserve special attention. Plan to do something both of you really enjoy, rather than feeling stuck two days before your anniversary arrives and then running out to get some flowers.

* Before you turn in for the night, try saying two compliments to each other. This means coming up with something new each night!

* And, this should go without saying but I’ll say it anyway—It is essential to have a “date night” at least every other week.

Remember, BLAM Fam: It’s the small things that count. How is your Hello & Good-Bye Ritual with your spouse?

10 replies
  1. Sherrie W.
    Sherrie W. says:

    Im a photographer so I don't get up early like my hubby but when he leaves in the morning he always gives me a hug and says he's about to leave and that he loves me.When he gets to work he will text to say he made it and he'll talk to me later.We call and exchange texts during the day and when he comes home we hug and kiss before he hops in the shower.

  2. Darling Nicky
    Darling Nicky says:

    Girl you must have a camera in my HOUSE *looks around* because usually my hubby will come in dirty boot, construction stink and all give me a big kiss, baby how's your day the whole 9… but yesterday he came in 1/2hour late after stopping in the drug store, barely spoke before he ran in the bathroom. (which was all fine) then walked back out of the house because he likes to pick up our daughters from after school. I was left standing in the kitchen like WTF?! It may not seem like a big deal but after a long day w/o him I look forward to him coming in the door and smooching me up. I doubt I need to even say this but Mr came home to some serious shade that day. *extra hard black girl side-eye*

  3. Jay
    Jay says:

    Seeing my honey (who works a different shift than I do so he's already home) stop whatever he's doing when I walk through the door to hug and kiss and ask me how my day was makes whatever happened that day easier to bear and makes me look forward to coming home – excellent article!

  4. Briana @ 20&Engaged
    Briana @ 20&Engaged says:

    I admit I greet the dog before I greet my husband when I get home, but that's because the dog is right at the door when I come in lol But I do something similar to that couple. When I greet the dog, I do the exact same thing to my husband. I hug him and ask how is he and give him a kiss. I noticed it makes him smile.
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  5. Asantewaa Speaks
    Asantewaa Speaks says:

    This is so true. The few words "Hello, I missed you" just restore each partner's belief that everything is okay and makes each person feel safe and secure. Its hard not to forget. I often come home and my son acts so excited to see me and then I start taking care of him and forget to take some time out for my husband. Thanks for the reminder.

  6. Lynn
    Lynn says:


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