By Joanne B. Parrotta
Statistics show that marriages are ending at an alarming rate and that the length of the average marriage is now under seven years. Why are today’s marriages not working? Why are relationships so stressful, difficult and unsatisfying for so many people? I believe it’s due to bad match-ups. If you marry someone with whom you are not well suited, the road to happiness is a very hard one.
So what can you do to turn this unhappiness around? The answer is to pay attention when choosing your life partner. Love and physical attraction are never enough. A strong relationship needs compatibility and commitment from both partners. Compatibly is more than just having the same interests, likes and dislikes; it’s wanting the same things out of life and having the same belief systems. Finding a partner whom you love and with whom you are compatible is the prescription for a healthy, lasting relationship.
It is your responsibility not only to yourself but to your future children to choose your life partner with care. Enduring difficult personal relationships can create much unhappiness and chaos and can be traumatic for everyone involved. The end of a marriage (or a long-term relationship) involves grief, and unfortunately children end up the big losers if the damage is passed along to them.
We want to share our lives with someone with whom we can connect on the deepest level and enjoy a true sense of partnership. We all deserve someone who will treasure, love, protect, admire, support and adore us.
The following 19 steps can help you find your soulmate and achieve relationship success:
1. Be good to yourself. By practicing self-love you become a magnet to your soulmate. If you don’t love yourself first, how is anyone else going to love you?
2. Confidence is beautiful. To be successful in finding true love, you need to be confident. You are more likely to attract the right love if you are fulfilled.
3. Find happiness in yourself. You can’t be completely happy in a relationship until you are happy with yourself and your life. Remember that your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Change starts from the inside out.
4. Nurture your spiritual side. You should be emotionally and spiritually prepared to bring in your soulmate.
5. Know yourself well. Before choosing a lifelong partner, know what your dreams are and what you need to be happy. You are responsible for creating the quality of your life.
6. Stay true to your values. Never compromise your values for anyone. By staying true to your values, you protect yourself from unnecessary pain.
7. Never select a mate out of need. Do not choose a mate out of loneliness, financial insecurity or fear of the future. When you are feeling negative about yourself or your life, you are very likely to make the wrong choice.
8. True love comes to those who wait. Keep in mind that destiny has its own timetable—you must be patient. Always keep your eyes on the prize. If you settle for second best, you will miss out on your perfect match. Be patient. Sometimes is seems that you’ll never find your soulmate. There may be lessons you need to learn before you are ready. The faster you do your inner work and become the person you want to attract, the faster you will connect with your beloved.
9. You deserve to be happy. So what if you are not perfect? No human being is. Always assume that you are worthwhile and accept yourself as you are.
10. Ignorance is not bliss. Get to know someone well before you jump into a relationship. The more information you have, the better you’ll be able to judge whether or not this person will make a good life partner.
11. In order to love well, we must be emotionally mature. Relationships are successful only when both partners are mature enough to see that a good relationship is built on mutual trust and attention to each other’s wants and needs.
12. Build relationship skills that make marriage work. Educate yourself. There are hundreds of great relationship books—pick one up.
13. Prepare yourself for a committed relationship. If you want to find someone special to love and to be loved back in return, you need to prepare for it.
14. To receive healthy love, you have to be healthy. Your relationship isn’t going to go smoothly if you’re not well and at peace with yourself. By being healthy in body, mind and spirit, you will attract a high-quality relationship.
15. Breaking up is hard to do. But if you are not happy, respected and fulfilled in your present relationship, it might be time to end it. Free each other so you can find more compatible mates.
16. Never ignore or justify the warning signs of possible problems. These warning signs are there for you to take notice.
17. Become the person you want to attract. Like attracts like. If you wish to attract a loving, respectful and considerate person, then you have to become a loving, respectful and considerate person.
18. Avoid having sex before commitment. The best way to test a relationship’s potential is to postpone having sex. It becomes harder to be objective about a relationship if you become sexually intimate too soon.
19. Don’t feel bad about not having met you soulmate yet. Get excited instead. You have something wonderful to look forward to.
Connecting with you soulmate is not as difficult as many of us believe. The only thing stopping you from being with your meant-to-be love is you. Make the necessary changes in your life and remember that awareness is the first step to change. Accept that where you are right now is the result of choices you have made in the past, and where you will be in the future depends on the choices you make now.
Your fate is in your hands. Only you can make the choices that support your happiness. Once you become aware of what you are doing and why, you can begin to change your behaviour.
Motivational writer Joanne B. Parrotta is the author of “A Matter of Destiny: How to Find and Marry Your Soulmate: A Beginner’s Spiritual Guide (BookSurge Publishing, an amazon.com company, 2006).” To learn more about this fascinating subject and to sign up for you’re FREE instantly down loadable soulmate reports, visit her website at:http://www.amatterofdestiny.com.