BLAM Fam what are your thoughts on this sista’s situation?
Hello! I love your web-site and the wealth of practical..applicable information and resolution advice. My question is this: How do I get my husband to listen to/read/learn ways to help our marriage grow and be happy.
He does not show intrest in learning things that could help. We have been married 2 years, but together 6. He is an awesome man, father, friend, lover, however we have never been married. We know alot about each other, but very little about managing our “married” relationship. I have learned so much from reading. Reading articles on this sit, books, the bible. I talk to married people in our lives about advice on how to get through tough times…arguments, disrespect, hurt feeling, wifely duties…etc. We even had premarital classes that he liked and really thrived on!!
Now, he does not show interest in learning the tools and information he needs to continue to be a good husband and grow. He struggles when I share with him when I feel hurt or upset about something he’s done or said. We will usually end up arguing because I wanted to share how I felt!!! Never ever getting to my initial issue.
I want so much for him to be all that I know he can be in our relationship, but he willnot listen to me and my recommendations, and he won’t reach out to learn…from anyone!
For instance, I have read a wealth of articles on BLAM that hit a certain issue we might be having right on the head. I’ll read it for my own knowledge and to recognize what my part in it may have been and how to fix/avoid it. I’ll send it to his email, and let him know” I sent a really good read about what we had an issue with. It was great, you should check it out”. He won’t…and he won’t ever even mention it….one way or the other. It’s so frustrating!!!! This has happend many times…but I have not given up! What do you think about this??? Should I just leave it alone??? I don’t want him to take my provision of the articles/help/knowledge/resolution as an insult. Any ideas about how to get him interested(actively) in growing..and making our marriage the best it can be??? He hates the conflicts, but won’t do anything to change the components that cause them. Any word would be welcomed and appreciated. Thanks!!!