When becoming a part of a unit, the lessons that we learned as individuals….almost always become null and void. They do not lose their validity, however, we may as well forget what Saved By The Bell said love was going to be like.
Before two people can claim to love each other, they must both agree on what the meaning of love is AND agree to reciprocate loving behavior and be able to replenish one another…even when on “E”. Yes, it is possible to replenish…..even when it is temporarily felt as though you don’t have the energy to do so. I don’t suggest doing so, on a regular basis, but we are all capable of this action. I am in a loving relationship, with my best and most organic friend, and I couldn’t be more grateful. It was not a fairytale road, rather, a road paved with cobblestones of tears. We happily embrace every aspect of the part of the journey that we have traveled and the continued yellow brick road ahead. There were times that I wanted to walk the hell away…I would have crying fits and…then just pray…meditate…journal and play my music. I would not allow sad music to be played and when he made me mad or hurt my feelings, I would just love him harder…(replenishing while on “E”)..I was very much drained. Being that I could see him as being significant early on, I could not let elements of fear and previous experiences derail me from my deserved happiness. We both came from levels of brokenness, however, we have always provided nourishment to each other.
5 Ways to Replenish WHILE on “E”-
5. Be honest with yourself, about being on “E”.- It’s not healthy to pretend that you are “ok”, rather acknowledge that you are not, but that you are making a conscious decision to sacrifice, for the greater good of the relationship.
4. Make mental or written note of what is bothering you. – This isn’t holding on to negativity, but rather “bookmarking” your personal state of mind/emotion. Since you have decided to make your partner your main focal point temporarily, you’ll need to keep track of what is going on with self, so that it can be addressed later on.
3. Prepare for an “extended stay”. – There is NOT a clock on how long/short you will be here. Ideally, your mate will not be vacationing in “Me-Ville”, for too long. In the event that you feel like you have been there too long, it is important to let them know. Healthy relationships require proper and effective communication…PERIOD.
2. Don’t be moved by what others base their relationships on…this one is yours. – My fiancé and I always joke on how we are “Sh!tting on married people”, because we have a phenomenal chemistry, that is rooted in a spiritual connection, truth and mutual principle. Beyond our understanding, we are soul mates. We faced plenty of so-called unorthodox relationship challenges. Certain things I took in stride, would’ve made another woman stroll on out of the door. Not I…Which brings me to #1…
1. No Secrets….No room for error or misunderstanding. – Flat out and period. No matter how ugly or uncomfy…you can not allow for people/situations, to create and exploit rifts. Nobody can tell me about my King…I know EVERYTHING about my King, in regards to our relationship…Plenty of women say those very same words…however, I speak/write them with complete confidence; all couples should be able to say those very same words about their mates. Not to say, that we won’t have any secrets/unknowns and personal privacies, just that any debilitating info is exposed to each other. We need not be afraid to ask the hard questions, nor do we need to be afraid to hear the real and actual answers.
Egypt is 29 y/o and resides is St. Louis, MO with her fiance. She is a budding freelance writer/author, graphic designer/spoken word poet and singer/songwriter.
Personal motto: “The promotion of positive energy and love, will yield the sweetest of fruit.”