They Said Her Husband Was A Sex Addict….WRONG!
By Calle Zorro
I continue to be amazed at how insane our “women’s-lib-conditioned” world grows. Even more insane is that certain MEN have so bought into that agenda that they have become better “women’s-libbers” than the women ever were.
Take this true story for instance (the names have been changed for privacy)…
Joe and Jackie were married for 4 years before they had children. During that time, they had a pretty good marriage. Sure they had their bumps in the road just like everyone does but overall, things worked pretty good and the needs on both sides were met at a satisfactory level.
And in particular, they usually had sex at least a couple of times a week – sometimes it was more like 3 – 4 times and sometimes it was only once a week – but overall, it was a frequency level that Joe was happy with.
But then, Jackie gets pregnant and 9 months later, out pops little Jewel.
Little Jewel no more arrived on the scene when Joe and Jackie’s marriage took a major turn for the worse…
From Jackie’s perspective, everything was mostly fine…new baby…Joe’s job paid well enough that she didn’t have to worry about money…the house was nice…the cars were all good…extended family was all good…everyone was healthy…and she was satisfied.
Well…at least on most levels she was. She definitely was not satisfied with the division, distance, and negative energy that was growing increasingly strong in their marriage.
A year and a half later, Jackie finds out that Joe has been cheating on her for over 6 months. Of course, she’s devastated and angry but they go to marriage counseling and the counselor helps Joe with his “anger management” problem and his “expressing emotion” problem and soon enough, they got everything patched up and they were back to running down the marriage-track again.
But, they no more get back to running when Jackie comes up pregnant again – and 9 months later out pops little Jai.
As you probably expected, the same exact situation plays out again…a year and half later, Jackie finds out that Joe’s been cheating on her again…for over 8 months this time.
So, they jump in the Benz wagon, head off to another marriage counselor’s office…and this second counselor was a little “sharper” than the first one…he discovered that with the birth of each baby, Jackie lost all interest in having sex.
For months on end, 100% of her interest was in the baby and 0% of her interest was in Joe.
Except that wasn’t the “problem”…
And here’s what I’ve been leading up to that so amazes me…
According to this particular marriage counselor, the problem was NOT that Jackie had lost all interest in having sex with Joe and was refusing to have sex with him month after month.
The problem was…and get this…
Joe was a SEX-ADDICT!
According to this counselor, the fact that he wanted sex at least once a week made him a “sex-addict”.
So, Joe accepts the counselor’s verdict – who was after all, the “expert” – and they go through a tidy little program to “help Joe overcome his sexual addiction”.
Then, with his “sexual addiction” supposedly out of the way Joe and Jackie head back to the house to live happily and “sexlessly” ever after…
Is that just NUTS or what?
Well, to me, it’s more than just nuts, it’s unacceptable.
I DO NOT accept the idea that a woman can go on a sexual vacation for months or years on end and that’s completely “ok” because she’s “bonding” or “finding herself” or whatever it is that clinicians decide it is that she’s doing.
Why should it be acceptable for a woman to stop being a wife in a marriage?
I mean, it’s not acceptable to the normal woman for her husband to go on a financial vacation and stop providing for the family, is it?
We know it’s not…in fact, it’s not even acceptable to a woman who’s not even your wife now…you let one of those men who has an “EX” miss even a single support payment and he’ll have EVERY branch of government coming down on him like a ton of bricks.
Now, I for one DO NOT excuse myself from my financial obligations and NEITHER do I excuse a woman from being a lover to her husband.
I know…that makes me bad…I guess I’m a bona-fide sex-addict too because not even once-a-week sex is acceptable to me. And, it shouldn’t be acceptable to you either.
Especially when you realize that there are skills a man can learn that CAUSES his woman to WANT frequent sex with him.
The issue with Jackie in the story above was NOT that she was non-sexual or needing “bonding” time with the baby. The issue was that she needed Joe to learn how to lead both her and him into the relationship that worked for both of them.
Here’s the deal… When people first get married, they’re excited, interested, and curious…and those emotions naturally drive them to do the right things. But, as the cares and concerns of life begin to kick in with full force AND the excitement, interest, and curiousness begin to wear off…THEN, things no longer work “naturally”.
It’s at this point that a man better get to learning how to lead both he and his wife into a happy and marriage. If he doesn’t, both he and she ARE going to suffer increasingly severe dissatisfaction and unhappiness – until one or the other gives up and leaves OR he learns the right “skills”.
Myself, I decided to learn the right “skills” and my wife and I have enjoyed a lot of happiness AND a lot of sex ever since.
And, I’ve been teaching men from all over the world how to get the same in their marriage.
I guess you could say I’ve become a “men’s-libber”.
I’m “liberating” men so that they can have the happy, sexual marriage they desire.
Calle Zorro helps men create happier, more sexual marriage relationships. To learn more about him, go to www.MarriedAndHappy.com Other websites include: www.NymphomaniacWife.com www.MoreSexForMen.com www.DoThisGetSex.com www.InitiateIntimacy.com www.WifeSeducer.com
What happens when it is the reverse? How about the woman's sex drive has not waned however the man's has? What then?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your efforts and I will
be waiting for your next write ups thank you once again.
That was absolutely hilarious for the therapist to insist that this man was a sex-addict. WOW.
In any event I believe if people renewed their expectations in relationships then we would not have as much cheating. Although it is not wise to neglect one's partner, it is also not wise to expect things to go on year after year at the same consistency. By reevaluating your expectations you give your partner a chance to grow/improve. Your empathy will also be expressed.
It's pretty simple. Nothing should keep you from sleeping with your husband just like nothing should keep your husband from protecting and providing for his family. Men work long days too. Men have to help with the children and help with the house hold chores too. If it is truly a partnership the man/husband has his hand in the household as much as his wife/partner does. With that being said if the man can still muster up the energy to make love to his wife after a long hard day at work, his wife should try to do the same. All women know men want, need and enjoy sex. Even the most sensitive man would choose to express his love sexually. Even though women know this, they neglect this. They can make sacrifices so they have time for everything in the world, including hanging with their friends, PTA and church. The one thing that they have little problem sacrificing is their sex life. I'm blessed to have a wife who understands my needs and does her best not to let her busy schedule interfere with our love making, I wish more men could say the same.
I ask these questions because-as of lately it seems as if all marriages are about is sex, and keeping the man happy, what about the wife? Is she happy? It is funny to me, how it seems like because a woman/wife is not doing her "wifely" duties more than once a week-makes her more susceptible of being cheated on, but I thought "wifely" duties are also to support her man, and take care of home. It almost appears like a wife can let herself go, let the children run crazy and do what they want to do, and let the man carry the burden of paying all of the bills (which he did not make by himself), as long as the sex is there, and it better be good or else he will still leave, and have an affair. I feel that with time-both partners have to learn to gel-one partner may have a higher sex drive than the other, so the other partner needs to compromise. This is almost like a catch 22.