By Kristin ALexander
In the marriage relationship, as in life, it should be obvious that men and women are very different in how they communicate. To rekindle a marriage, it is usually the woman who feels motivated and is willing to step out on a limb and shake things up. No need to complain about it, that’s just how it is. We all know that a healthy marriage includes sex, and if your man has his way, that means lots of sex! If women really understood their men, they would see that although sex is very important to men physically, it is also important to them for other reasons as well. It is their main way of bonding with the person they love, both physically and emotionally, because verbal communication is so difficult for most men. So to fix relationship problems, sex is an important place to start. One thing to get very clear about is that when a man forms an intense trusting sexual bond with a woman he becomes emotionally dependent on her. Even though he won’t say it, this means the world to him. To use it against him out of anger or frustration can only severely damage your relationship.
I know what you’re thinking…”I do EVERYTHING! I take care of the kids, the house, the bills, the cooking and THEN he wants to have sex!” I get it. It’s overwhelming. But there is a way to change it and have your needs met as well, and it’s not as hard as you think…Just a shift in perception can change everything in a marriage…everything. Looking at your husband and his actions from a different perspective can show you things you may have never noticed. Nagging, crying, fighting doesn’t work, why not try something that absolutely does? Creating a happier marriage or possibly even saving it is worth it!
We somehow lost sight of how different men and women really are by trying so hard to make everyone “equal”. Well, we are equal, but we also respond to everything differently and the real magic happens when we accept and respect that about each other. Yes, men are simple creatures but that doesn’t make them lesser, just different. This fact makes it an easy thing to restart your marriage. You just have to be willing!
Women who will put aside their hurt feelings and justifications about what is wrong with their men and instead seek to develop a strong bond with their husbands, by understanding how they think, will find they have happier more fulfilling marriages than they could have ever dreamed possible.
Approval and understanding are magic when it comes to relationships! Don’t wait for him to do it! Take charge and he will become so emotionally connected to you that he will do everything and anything in his power to keep you happy. Because we all know “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”
Kristin Alexander is a wife, mother, writer and works in marketing.