Real Relationship “Must Have”: Keep The Lines Of Communication OPEN…Forreal.
By Conrad Jones
Have you ever thought about why is it so important to have an open and comfortable communication environment in your relationships?
What’s the single biggest benefit of being able to openly share your thoughts, feelings, goals, & ideas with someone you care about without having them criticize, condemn or make you feel silly, but excitedly respond to your feelings and open their treasury of thoughts, feelings & dreams to you?
Most people think the biggest benefit of having good communication is “great sex” — and that’s what a lot of “gurus” will tell you too. But these people are completely missing the Big Picture.
You see, great sex is a benefit, but it’s hardly the biggest benefit of being able to openly share your heart with someone you care about and have them do the same.
The REAL big benefit of having a communicative “sharing relationship” is that you can acurately pin-point weak areas in your lovelife and immediately act to improve whatever is causing them, to make building “affair-proof” connections easier, quicker and a lot less painful.
This is an important concept — so let me break it down and explain it in a personal story.
When I first started dating my wife, we though we were compatible in almost every area and everything would be a breeze. Well, living together for awhile, we started to see just how different we really were…
I had this habit (she thought it was nasty…I disagreed) of dropping my clothes on a chair in the room ( …okay, the frontroom) when I got home in the evenings. This would drive her nuts.
Personally, I didn’t see it as a problem because I felt that it was my place, I was home, and what I wanted to do in my castle was totally my business…afterall, I worked hard to pay the rent, right?
So, she’d fuss me out, we’d fight and both be frustrated because she couldn’t understand why I didn’t care about the house and I couldn’t understand why she made such a big deal of this little matter.
…Oh, did I mention I absolutely dislike a nagging, fussing woman?
…I guess she absolutely disliked a nasty, inconsiderate man.
Anyway, to make a long story short, this simple problem began to drive a “silent wedge” between us that made us begin to slowly lose love for each other.
…Did you notice I used the word “silent” above to describe what began to happen between us?
Eventually, we decided to have an open conversation about this issue and agreed not to criticize or condemn each others’ view but listen and find a solution we’d both agree to…I’ll teach you more on how to do this later.
Here’s what the problem really was…This is the short version.
1. I was raised in a home where I had sisters to clean up after me and took this for granted…She was raised in a home where she was made to clean up after everyone (being the oldest)
2. Her mother always taught her to keep the house tidy just in case her father brought home company or someone showed up unexpectantly…she was taught this was a good life practice.
Okay my friend, are you starting to see the different worlds we came from and how they affected how we acted and thought?
…So, what did openly conversating do for our relationship?
1. Well, it helped us to see from the other side of the problem, It allowed us to pin-point exactly what was wrong, and find a solution we both felt comfortable with.
2. It opened the doors for us to easily resolve any other issues that came up in our relationship that we needed to fix.
3. It allowed us to stay together and enjoy together what we both bring into the relationship, and each others’ lives.
So as you can imagine, if you have an open line of communication, you can get results very quickly, easily and without a lot of heartbreak
And that, my friend, is the biggest benefit of having hypnotic communication skills in your relationship.
Great example!! Now, after communicating did you continue to put the clothes on the floor? (continue the problem?)
I agree communication is essential to having a healthy relationship. Our upbringing plays a big part in our life as adults. Marriage is work in progress for our differences will always be present silent or not. Keep the help coming! Thank You
I agree with you wholeheartedly! Good communication ensures that nothing can divide the two of you. "A house divided cannot stand"!
This was such a good article. Got me thinking. Thank you.