By Ayize Ma’at
One of the things that I thoroughly enjoy about relationship coaching is having the privilege of conducting same gender rap sessions. The things that brotha’s say when surrounded by other men and when they feel that it’s a safe space is both remarkable and emotionally gratifying. Believe it or not….men are sensitive too. To be able to look around and see other brotha’s smiling, nodding there heads, and tearing up enables me to have a deeper understanding about what men do and don’t want from their women in their relationships. I teach authenticity, transparency, and vulnerability to brotha’s with the hope that they grow confident in expressing there true thoughts and feelings to you. Ladies, in order for brotha’s to feel comfortable opening up there’s several things you may want to be mindful of. This list of buttons (adapted from AOL BlackVoices) is lighthearted but the message of being respectful toward your man remains the solid truth. If you’re not…you definitely run the risk of an emotional shut down.
The Mama Button
Your mom acts like bi..Whoa! Calling a man’s mother anything out her name, is a sure way to get a man’s nostrils flaring. As a matter fact, good rule of thumb for any man that’s close to his family, is to not add any family member in any of your arguments-period.
The _____Ass N***a Button
Diddy already let us know that “bitchassness” isn’t cool, but filling in the blank with b*tch, bum, broke, or gay will have a strong man breathing and counting to ten.
The Vulnerable Button
He opened up to you about how he peed in the bed until he was 15 and you used that against him when he forgot to put the toliet seat down? Sooooo not cool.
The EX Button
Men have a very ego driven nature, hearing I wish you were as ________as my ex, will get their blood boiling just to know you still think about your ex.
The Inferior Button
Treating a man like a child, belittling, or always emasculating a man are sure fire ways to get him on TV – A&E’s “The First 48.”
The Penis Button
Women love to talk about how inadequate the size of a man’s member is once sh^t hits the fan. “Third leg? Please, that’s barely a third toe,” let’s not insult his manhood, especially if a makeup session is the relationships future.
The Hypocrite Button
You tell him how much he needs to change his life and stop going to bars and clubs, yet every weekend you’re out with your girls? Stop the games. A man hates being told what to do, so don’t add insult to injury by being a hypocrite.
The Pregnancy Button
Run for cover if you tell a man you’re pregnant… and that it’s not his. Get ready to get him doubly mad to find out you lied about being pregnant as some diabolical plan to bring him closer or get money.
Have you pushed any of these buttons during your relationship? Are you pushing them now? If so STOP IT!!!!!! You’re not helping your love….you are hurting your love.