By Aiyana Ma’at
I know what you’re thinking–as soon as you read “Sex Retreat” you were like “What the?!” Well, for those who are having a hard time swallowing the term “sex retreat”, try “intimacy retreat”. Sex retreat sounds more kinky than it really is and because of how sensationalized sex has become in our society people automatically think NASTY when we hear the word sex.
But, I want to remind you that sex at it’s best should be a beautiful, spiritual, sensual, satisfying, and yummy experience.
Better sex, not just more of it – that is the goal of sexually related couples retreats. Known as Intimacy Retreats or Sex Retreats, these courses are usually taught by people trained in the specific field of sex therapy, usually with Master’s degrees in a human science field, many of whom are certified “sexual counselors”.
I’ve talked with some friends of ours who attended a sex retreat and I was quite intrigued. Let’s just say they say were not very comfortable talking about sex with each other let alone some one else and the wife said “It changed her life”. I lie to you not.
That’s what she said. I said Daaaaag, what did ya’ll do up in there??? And, get this she–she said: “We learned some great techniques and stuff but for me the breakthrough we had was less about what we did and more about how we did it. The whole experience made us connect to each other in a way that I haven’t felt in a really long time.”
Another couple we’ve talked to about it during coaching sessions had a very similar experience. The husband said “After my wife and I went we experienced such closeness and fun again in our relationship–it was amazing.”
So, if your sex life is suffering or if you just want to try something new and exciting keep an open mind—a sex or “intimacy” retreat if that sounds better to you— might be just what the doctor ordered.
Ayize and I will be attending one some day when we can find some time. You gotta keep it fresh and exciting in your relationship and he and I are both excited about trying different types in the future. #WillKeepYouPosted 😉
Here’s a summary of different types of intimacy retreats below.
Tantra Couples Sex Retreats
There has been a huge rise in the popularity and availability of intimacy retreats focusing on the teachings of Tantra. Derived from Hindu teachings on the union of men and women. The word “Tantra” is loosely applied to many different teachings, some of them contradictory to others. Every teacher of “Tantra” will likely have a differing opinion on certain aspects of the practice. Remember, you’re not learning a religion, you’re learning to have better sex with your partner.
Don’t be scared of “Tantra” because of misconceptions you may have about it. Popular culture and the exploits of celebrities have led us to believe that “tantric sex” refers to long periods of slow, ritualistic, non-orgasmic intercourse in order to reach a state of enlightment. This is wrong, and is just a convenient stereotype for people to bash something they don’t understand.
Tantric retreats offer lessons in sexual intimacy as derived from a variety of Eastern spiritual sources. Along with these lessons, Tantra based intimacy retreats usually offer lessons in massage, gourmet meals, comfortable and private accommodations (to do your “homework”), and a wide variety of package options that may include more specific activities like horseback riding or hiking.
T’ai Chi and Yoga Couples Retreats
Not all intimacy retreats will concentrate on sexual activity – there are retreats designed to introduce couples to better sex using regulated exercise, such as T’ai Chi, Yoga, or Pilates. T’ai Chi Chuan is is an ancient series of exercise moves which represent the ideas of ‘yin and yang’, masculine and feminine, through movement. T’ai Chi investigates the active and the passive aspects of our movement which can be applied directly to lovemaking. T’ai Chi, when it is done properly, looks and feels much like a graceful dance. It is a sequence of movements smoothly connected to one another, and is purportedly good for stress relief and even the relief of chronic pain. No more excuses about being “too stressed” or “having a headache” – the idea is to include the ritual of T’ai Chi into your daily life to improve you and your partner’s sexual intimacy.
Yoga classes that work specifically toward the goal of improving your sex life can be a kind of intimacy retreat. You and your partner attend classes that are now sprouting up everywhere – suggesting exercises and movements from Yoga that will improve the quality of sex between you and your lover.
Christian Marriage Retreats
While these retreats do not focus the entire retreat on sex, Christians may feel more comfortable talking about sex and intimacy around other Christians. I guarantee any good Christian marriage retreat will focus on physical intimacy and its importance to all marriages, even those grounded in the teachings of Christ. These intimacy courses won’t be the same as the other “Intimacy Retreats” – less explicit, and with heavy doses of Christian guidance in increasing intimacy, but for many people this is what they’re looking for. Christian marriage retreats are seriously popular and you are sure to find one in your area.
How to Find a Couple’s Retreat for Better Sex
You can do your own internet searching – this allows you to make your own terms.
Another good internet resource for finding all kinds of retreats – marriage, sex, and intimacy retreats being just a small percentage of what is available – is retreat finder. Here you will find basic and advanced search options for find your retreat as well as detailed information on specific retreats, advice from counselors and retreat attendees, even jobs for counselors or retreat sites “for sale”. This is a kind of one stop shop for all things retreat related, and is an invaluable tool in your search for better sex through a retreat experience.
Couples retreats aimed at improving your sex life can only help –maybe you and your partner will come to the conclusion that a trip to an intimacy retreat can show you that with a little work, you and your partner can enjoy one another for a long time. A lack of sexual intimacy can destroy a couple, and if you value your relationship, spending a little money and a weekend with your partner working on intimacy could be the best investment you make this year.
BLAM Fam, What do you think? Would you try a Sex Retreat? Why or why not?
Aiyana Ma’at is the wife of Ayize Ma’at, mom of 4, and co-founder and owner of this website, BlackLoveAndMarriage.com, as well as PurposePusher.com. Aiyana is a Seeker, Motivator, Risk Taker, Explorer, & Overcomer. She is a self-described PurposePusher and does her best to live her life with self-awareness and intention. Some of her official titles include licensed psycho-therapist, certified marriage educator & relationship coach and speaker. She is clear that a part of the call on her life is to help bring insight and awareness to others so that they can “get out of their own way” and create the lives they want to have.