Falling in love is wonderful, it’s exciting and truly the adventure of a lifetime. I believe in Love at First Sight and I believe in people being “meant for each other”. I also believe that learning to love and be loved is a life long learning experience. That is what this article is about.
There are different ways of looking at love. If you feel love in your heart for your partner, you might consider yourself “In Love” with them. That is a wonderful thing, and obviously where it all starts. Staying in love means you need to “do love”, not just feel it. It means you take time to communicate, compromise, and deeply relate to each other.
The challenge is to discover how to “Do Love” in a way that benefits your own love partnership. I believe the first step is to take very good care of you. Offering your partner your best self is a most excellent gift. Attend to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs to the best of your ability. Pursue activities that help you develop the best self to offer to your partner. You want to make sure you are as healthy as you can be to fully accept the love your partner is showering back on you too.
You will also want to take a close look at the preconceived ideas you have about love and your relationship with that special person. As you are growing up, you form beliefs about what roles people “should” play in your life. For example, a man might just take it for granted that the women he falls in love with will always cook his dinner and do the laundry. A woman might think the man should be the one that knows how to fix the car or other home maintenance issues.
Be very honest with yourself in making your list of expectations. After you have your list throw it away. The minute you start putting your preconceived expectations on another person, you are in for trouble. Take the time to communicate and compromise with your partner when it comes to domestic responsibilities. Find solutions that work best for both of you.
Now, go on an exploration of what both you and your partner need to feel loved. People experience love in different ways. Perhaps you need to hear love and can ask your partner to tell you often how much they love you and enjoy being with you. Other’s need to feel love. They feel loved when their partner takes the time to be affectionate, kiss them hello and good-bye and freely give hugs and hand holding.
In order to “Do Love”, you want to know what sort of activities to pursue that will help your partner stay reassured of your love for them, in ways they best experience love. You also want to be able to communicate to them how you experience love so they can do the same for you.
Another one of the absolute best things you can do for the love of your life is to stay aware. This is probably the most important and least talked about area of relationships. Your immediate presence is by far the best present you can give to those you care about! Look at them as if they are brand new in your life every day. People change and grow and you want to be in relationship with the person you love today, not the image you have in your head about them. This also helps maintain appreciation for the person sharing their life with you.
Doing Love is something you recommit to every day. It’s an excellent adventure and will help assure that the love you feel for each other stays exciting and fresh for years to come! If you would like more specific suggestions for your unique love life, or want to learn more about the topics discussed in this article, please feel free to email me at anytime.
Tracy Togliatti is a Registered Reiki Master through the Global Reiki Association and an Energy Psychology Practitioner. Tracy is also acting Director of Happyher.com, where she offers free email Reiki lessons.