The Marriage Bed 202 – Going Behind The Velvet Rope

No, I am not a sex blogger. I am a marriage blogger and sex is part of marriage, therefore I am writing about sex. We’ve done Marriage Bed 101 and 102, now we are headed to 202. That’s right, I’m taking it up another notch.We’ve covered upgrading for your spouse. And we’ve covered boredom. Now we are going to the velvet rope region. Remember Janet Jackson’s alblum of the same same. On that alblum she flipped it on the fans. Penny from Good Times was gone. This was fetish Janet. It’s time to Velvet Rope your marriage.

What? Gasp? It’s time. Now, let’s talk about a few rules. Velvet Roping doesn’t mean going beyond your limits. If you feel embarassed or opposed to something, you don’t have to do it. But let’s be honest: most folks got a freaky fantasy or two (or seven) that they would love to act out if someone gave them the chance. Well, you know that person that was standing next to you when you got married? Yea, your spouse. Most likely they are ready, willing, and able to indulge your lil’ freaky fantasy.

You expected me to say “if you ask” after that last statement, didn’t you? Umm, no. If you are going from vanilla ice cream (missionary) to chocolate(handcuffs), you really don’t have to ask. Now if you are going from vanilla ice cream to tequila(threesome), you need to have a conversation. I don’t suggest going from vanilla to tequila. That can put someone in shock. But if you go slowly (vanilla ice cream to chocolate to cake to white wine to red wine to margarita to tequila shots) you might have a better chance of getting closer to your freaky pinnacle.

The bottom line is if you are happy with where you & your spouse are sexually, then kudos. But if you’ve been in a relationship for a minute and the spark is starting to fade, then remix it. Don’t get tricked into looking for sparks in other people (affairs), go behind your own Velvet Rope and rediscover your spark.

 Neysa Ellery Taylor lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work at www.myriadthatisme.blogspot.com