4 Ways to Talk to Your Long-term Boyfriend About Marriage Plans

4 Ways to Talk to Your Long-term Boyfriend About Marriage Plans

Cohabitation is quickly becoming the norm in the US. National Health Statistics Reports reveals that 48 percent of women cohabitated with their future spouses before marriage. For some women, this was a quick stop on the way towards marriage. For others, it goes on for years and years. If you’re in a solid relationship and your boyfriend doesn’t have any moral opposition to marriage, it’s time to bring up the conversation.

In Sickness and Death

No one wants to think about their boyfriend getting sick or dying, but it’s especially traumatic if you can’t see him in the hospital because you aren’t next of kin. Talk to your boyfriend about the legal benefits you receive as a spouse that allows you to see each other in the hospital and handle legal inheritance in the event of death.

Talk Openly About Your Life Together

You don’t want to be passive aggressive about your interests. If you’ve been dating and living together for a few years and you’re both looking to settle down, talk directly about your long term plans. The Date Report recommends getting over any anxiety related to talking about marriage. If you’re sure about your relationship, there’s no reason to feel embarrassed when talking about your future together. Lay out your expectations and find out his thoughts on the matter.

Discuss the Financial Benefits

This is a strictly practical approach, but it’s possible that if your boyfriend is content in the relationship, he doesn’t see a point in getting married for emotional reasons. Perhaps he feels that it’s more of a religious concern or has another objection. When you point out the monetary benefits of marriage, however, he sees the practical side of it. How Stuff Works reports that many couples pay significantly less in income taxes when married than when filing as single. This is particularly true for couples who have disparate income,

In addition, it’s also much easier to get coverage through your partner’s health and pension benefits when you’re legally married. Some workplaces do offer benefits to couples who live together, but it’s not a requirement. Other financial benefits include lower insurance rates and avoiding estate tax.

Discuss Ring Preferences

You don’t have to sacrifice the surprise behind a proposal once the right time rolls around. For many women, however, it’s important to talk about ring styles beforehand. If your potential ring style is important to you, give him your ring size and check out the engagement rings at Macy’s or your local jeweler, so he knows exactly what you like. Ideally, you’ll also want to set a ring budget so you aren’t taking out loans to pay for your wedding jewelry, so you start your wedded life without adding debt.

Congrats To Shane & Ariana! Watch The Surprise Marriage Proposal!


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During a recent performance by the Bulls’ Luvabulls cheerleaders in the middle of the third-quarter last Thursday, Zackery’s cheerleader girlfriend, Ariana Rosado, was totally caught off guard when the music suddenly changed and her teammates switched into new choreography she hadn’t learned.

 

Soon after, the team’s mascot, Benny the Bull, popped out of nowhere and sat Ariana down in a rolling chair as her fellow cheerleaders danced around her.

 

Before long two more inflatable “Bennies” come out, and Rosado’s boyfriend, Shane Zackery pops out of one of them and proposes to her.

 

How sweet is that?! Check out the video.

 
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10 Tips To Help You Write Your Wedding Vows

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1. Get a clean and nice sheet of paper. On the left portion of the paper write down numbers 1 to 10. After that proceed by writing without even thinking about what you will answer, just write down whatever 10 things that will first come to mind in response to this phrase “I love (my lover/partner’s name) for the reason of…” After writing it all set aside your paper.

2. Get another sheet of paper and in there write about all the things that you will promise to your partner, what are the good things you want to bring in with the union of hearts.

For example:
I will promise to be there with you during all kinds of moments either good times or bad.
I promise to remain faithful for eternity
I promise to share all blessings and resources with you.

3. Think about how you want to address your partner in front of others, whether it is Spouse, Wife, Husband, Hubby, and Partner for life?

4. After steps 1-3 you may now take a break from preparing for your wedding vows. Keep the papers that you’ve so far written on and instead spend time with your partner, do something together that will provide fun and excitement to both of you and remember this moment once you continue with writing your wedding bows.

5. After that shared moment, its time to make a separate wedding vow, you can make it totally unique from each other but here’s a great tip, if you are intent on writing a unique vow from each other, make sure to add a sentence or paragraph that has some similarities with the other person’s vow. This will express and symbolize a union within the both of you and at the same time maintaining your individuality.

6. Going back to the different sheet of papers you’ve written on in the first and second steps. It is best that you work together and compare what you’ve written in the statements and promises portion. Use a highlighter to highlight where you wrote the same thing and remember the parts where you differ.

7. Choose from the list 4 or 5 things that you and your partner wants, four or five reasons why you love each other and four or five promises you want to say to each other.

8. Copy all of these on another clean sheet of paper.

9. A wedding vow should include a promise of a time frame, most wedding vows consists of phrases like “For the rest of my days”, “For as long as eternity”, etc. Choose the proper phrase that expresses a promised time frame for your love to each other. It’s your call on what will you use.

10. Last thing after you’ve written your wedding vows is to practice reading it to someone that you trust. Read it aloud and afterwards ask the person how it sounded like? Does it sound sincere? Is it touching? Is it okay enough to create a wonderful wedding vow? Whatever the input that person might tell you, put it in mind and try to improve it if it still lacking in message and content. If the person you trust told you that it is already a perfect wedding vow, then it’s high time to celebrate and congratulate each other for a job well done as a husband and wife.

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Check Out These Practical Reasons For Having A Winter Wedding

By Harvey Mcewan

There is many a benefit to choosing a winter wedding as opposed to the very popular and somewhat cliched summer affair with sunny photos, bright florals and a garden party.

 

Due to so many people choosing to wed during the summer, the winter months are a cheaper time of year to tie the knot. In fact, many venues advertise special winter deals and offers to entice people to book then instead of the busiest summer period. Savings can be astonishing so look into a package deal. You can even expect service to be more personal as staff have more time on their hands to attend to each couple and their requirements.

 

With winter a less popular season, venues are also less likely to be booked out very far in advance as they tend to be in the summer. This is good news to engaged couples who don’t want to wait 2 years or longer to say their I dos.

 

Snow makes for an amazing addition to a winter wedding. Though this is never guaranteed, if it arrives on time, your outdoor wedding pictures will look even more spectacular. Imagine yourself and your partner striking a pose against a beautiful backdrop of snow-covered trees and a frozen lake or pond. The colour couldn’t be more appropriate for a wedding!

 

A factor many people might not even consider is how much easier it is to appreciate a three course meal in the winter than during the summer when the heat affects people’s digestive systems. In the summer, people can really struggle to finish their portions, while in the winter they’ll be happy for the chance to warm up with some tasty food. Besides, the menu should reflect the season so think of all the gourmet goodies it could feature, from hearty soups to chunky pieces of steak.

 

Wintry venues in the city could include hotels, local attractions such as museums and botanic gardens, and other, more obscure event venues. So, if you’re thinking about tying the knot in the Winter, go for it!

Is It Tacky To Ask For Money As A Wedding Gift?

By Jason

It is a long-time tradition among various cultures across the world to give gifts in weddings. Couples usually receive a wide range of items as gifts from family members, friends, relatives, and colleagues. Most of the time the people to give gifts consider it good to ask the bride and the groom an opinion on what they would want best as a gift. This is to avoid different people giving the same type of item as a gift. Some couples find themselves at a cross-road on what to ask for as gifts. One of the stunning issues which have been thorny to most of the couples is whether to ask for money as wedding gift. As much as most couples are usually overwhelmed by much spending, people find it tawdry to ask for money as wedding gift.

Most of the cultures across the world do not find it socially right not only to give money as a wedding gift, but also to receive it. As much as money can be helpful to receive in a wedding, it is one of those that cannot be effective as a wedding gift. However, this does not mean that folks cannot give financial help when couples are at a crunch. If the couples have to ask for financial help to finance their wedding cost, then it is best done separately, and not asked as a wedding gift. Requesting money to specifically fund your honeymoon is considered not a good etiquette, and can easily annoy those who are in attendance.

Traditionally, matters regarding funds to finance the wedding are supposed to be handled by close members of the family. Parents from both camps are supposed to make sure that the budget is right just before the event kick-starts. Requesting cash for gifts for the wedding is likely to offend people as it is considered rude. As an alternative way of raising funds for your wedding, a lean budget can be observed, by reducing out unnecessary expenditures. This is possible, without denying your guests a nice wedding instead of throwing a wedding to receive money in the name of gifts.

The best way to have financial assistance in terms of cash is to join a wedding registry. A wedding registry lets friends, family members, relatives and colleagues contribute to the wedding kitty early before the day that you tie the knot. Wedding registry is popular on-line, where the couples send on-line invitation cards together with the details concerning their wedding project and the account they can make contributions through. This can be an appropriate means compared to the inapt cash request.

Different cultures have different traditions of making their contributions to a wedding kitty. Common in European societies, bridal purse is a popular means of giving some cash gifts in silk purses. They are normally circled round the guests who are willing to give the couples checks or cash. However, it is not that the couples ask for the cash gifts, guests give out willingly as a wedding tradition. So if you have to ask for cash as a wedding gift, make sure it is morally accepted in that social group.

VIDEO: Newlywed Couple Sings At Their Wedding Reception…WOW!

This newlywed couple can saaaang! Talk about creativity. It’s amazing what we can do when we are inspired and…in love!  I’ve always liked this song and now it stands out a little more in my mind because of the way this couple is handling it. They  are doing their thang! There’s not really much we can say other than to just click play and listen for yourself as this couple sings “Spend My Life,” by Eric Benet and Tamia. Wow.

PROPOSAL VIDEO: Shout Out To Korey & Chelsea–Going To The Next Level TOGETHER!

By Team BLAM

If you don’t know by now (or maybe you’re new to us here at BlackLoveAndMarriage.com)—we are about EDUCATION, ELEVATION, AND CELEBRATION OF HEALTHY MARRIAGES, RELATIONSHIPS, & FAMILIES in the black community in particular and in the world in general. So, when we got the below email from a member of the BLAM fam we were just delighted to share with the rest of the fam. We’ve all got to do our part to encourage and celebrate one another as we hit major milestones in our lives and commit to stop playing & start pushing! 😉 SHOUT OUT TO KOREY & CHELSEA!!! This newly engaged couple is “stepping their game up” and going to the next level in love and life together.

 

Check out Chelsea’s email to us below and their proposal video!

 I see that you all have recently shared a few proposal videos! My boyfriend, Korey (24, I am 25) of 2 years, best friend of 4, just proposed to me Feb. 26th, 2012 in front of our whole church family!!

I really hate to sound so cliche but we have had sooo many ups and downs that brought us to this moment and place of maturity, clarity and peace with each other and wit the Lord. We are planning to get married this December and I wanted to share our video with the Ma’ats because we both truly are passionate about the same principles that you all teach! Thank you for your passion and commitment 🙂

I am currently in school to be a professional counselor and marriage/family/relationships will ALWAYS be what I “preach” about. Our goal as a couple is to write books and have a non-profit organization where we do similar work that you do to strengthen marriages in the Black community and do our part to educate people and lower divorce.

*You can probably here the nerves in his speech patter of repeating “so” LOL… I LOVE THIS MAN WITH ALL MY HEART!!!!

Open Toe Wedding Shoes vs. Closed Toe Wedding Shoes

By Arianny L. Rodriguez

Choosing which wedding shoes to wear- open toe wedding shoes or closed toe wedding shoes – may be just as intense as getting the best bridal gown design. This may leave a bride helpless. A mix of excitement and nervousness is enough to agitate the bride. Thus, the confusing choice of the type of shoe to wear is more than enough to keep her crammed up. And it disturbs her more that even her planners cannot give a specific impression on this subject.

It is but normal that someone else cannot speak for the bride as to what type of wedding footwear she should be wearing on her special day. The answer depends only on the bride’s personal style and preference.

Before making her final choice, a bride has to consider a vast range of options and factors. She has to first take note of the time, the place, the season and the weather during which her wedding day will be on. This once again brings about the debate of which of the two given types of shoes would be more advantageous to a bride- open toe wedding shoes or closed toe wedding shoes. Generally speaking, both open toe wedding shoes and closed toe wedding shoes are accepted for weddings, even with the most formal one. The distinction now would vary at how each will be beneficial to the bride’s situation and preference.

Closed toe shoes are one of those selected foot wears most women prefer because of their style and the comfort that they give to the fragile women’s feet. They come handy on days when there is a need to look executive or prim or during days when you want to look your best and you forgot to repaint your nails or worse, you got chipped nails. These are good fashion cover-ups and are indeed blessings when it rains.

Apparently, weddings are occasions that are expectedly prepared and anticipated. They are no flaws to cover-up. Thus, closed toe wedding shoes are now merely plain shoes to enhance the wedding dress.

On the other hand, open toe wedding shoes are similarly beneficial. Aside from being a latest trend that most fashion conscious women prefer, it also gives comfort, ease and a feeling that shoes may be hot in style but definitely cool were worn. These shoes are just perfect for weddings, especially indoor ones. This fashion baby can boost a bride’s feel-good self knowing that everything her from head to toe is all but part of her wedding royalty.

Both two types of shoes are unique on their own styles. They both mirror femininity and class to every women who has them on, and this includes a soon to be wed bride. Every bride is deserving of the best pair of wedding shoes that she could ever have. May it be closed or an open toe wedding shoes, whatever her preference might be, what will matter in the end is how comfortable she is and how lovely she thinks of herself with that pair of shoes.

Arianny L. Rodriguez is the author and is devoted to helping brides find the perfect wedding shoes for their perfect dress. For easy to find white, ivory and silver wedding shoes, visit http://www.bridalshoestyle.com. You can also find elegant evening shoes, prom shoes and matching handbags. While you are there be sure to become a fan of her facebook page for more fun wedding ideas.