By Colleen Hoffman Smith
To be touched is one thing. To feel the passion of a lover’s touch is something else. It means surrendering to the relationship, hungering for love, igniting an inner flame. To feel passion is to experience no pain. But passion is only possible when lovers connect to their own wells of love within. Only then can they connect and spark together. Here are 10 ways you can experience deep, meaningful passion in your own life.
1. Take care of your past, suppressed darkness and the wounds of abandoned love. I have worked with many women and some men who tell me that they don’t feel a connection to their sexuality or that it feels dead or shut down. I have also been in this place and realized my sexuality was still connected with a past experience or past lover. Self-worth and your connection to self-love play a big part in your sexuality. When you have unresolved issues or suppressed emotions, it’s hard to feel the connection to your open heart. It creates a barrier or lack of desire to be intimate with someone. You might have left your sexuality with a past relationship.
2. Fill your own void and strengthen your own worth. Believe in yourself and the love that is yours. Open your eyes and your heart to the freedom of spirit and see yourself as you look into your lover’s eyes. Feel your love when you are open to your heart. Listen to the language of the divine, heavenly passion in the breath of each other. Take the time to lift your vibration each day to live this beloved experience with your partner.
3. Make love all day. This can mean holding, touching, complimenting, and/or looking at each other with the eyes of love, and it doesn’t have to start in the bedroom. Allow your soul to speak as you move, keeping your heart open. Duty will never be comfortable and faking it will always be felt. Create the safe place within each other’s hearts.
4. Spark the relationship with romance. Share time, massages and re-express your commitment to one another and you will vibrate with passion you ignite. The heart cannot inspire sexual energy if the heart is in fear or self-doubt. Hold the space for each other to move into safe love. Invite desire with honesty, respect, tenderness, caring, sensitivity and kindness.
5. Enjoy foreplay. Foreplay is creating a safe place for passion. The open heart is foreplay. Having an open heart will create the space for passion to fill your life and your heart. Foreplay is the preparation for making love all day long as well as making love within, and being in love, but it doesn’t happen unless you are open to everything.
How do we get there? For some, books and movies create this yearning. Many people have never experienced it in their lives because they have not taken care of it for themselves. In the beloved relationship, it takes two, both being in the same place or inspiring each other.
6. Imagine the orange. Sexual passion with the beloved is like a juicy orange. Two hands unfold the orange peel as its juices tempt you to experience the pleasure. When I think about the passionate, sensual experience with my husband Bruce, I see a vision of this juicy orange. I peel the thick, protective skin, exposing a transparent skin that is so light and tender, the juices burst from the seedless flesh. The explosion of the sweet nectar of love tastes clear and full of flavor.
The metaphor of the juicy orange helps illustrate the experience of safe, transparent love and passion intimately shared when the outer skin of protection and the open hearts between us ignite the flow of passion taking us to divine union.
7. Fall in love, over and over again. Each stage of our self-growth and aging process brings us to new levels of acceptance of personal and physical changes. Every stage is an opportunity to fall in love with ourselves again. Our bodies take us through change and our emotions take us into acceptance. How can we create a comfortable relationship of intimacy? Creating the warmth in our own skin and the safeness as we melt into it is like being embraced in a warm bed by an electric blanket with a range of controls from low to high. We need to take care of the block that stops the energy that warms us and creates comfort.
8. Feel yourself wrapped in your own arms. Only then will you possessthe power to switch on the inner furnace of love. Self-love is fueled by our desire to explode in every cell of our bodies and share it with another. For two people to join together with this fire, without being needy or manipulated, is wonderful. As you feel the intensity of the openness that creates this heavenly place of inner happiness, feel each other’s highest vibration and hear the sounds of peace embraced with trust and loyalty. Nothing else in this moment exists outside the fire of connection and conviction of the heart. From this place, ultimate divine love is inspired and felt in the rapture of the unconditional love.
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