2 Little Dirty Words: Premature Ejaculation

by Aiyana Ma’at Most men think (or would like you to think) they can lay it down like no other in the bedroom. We’ve all seen plenty of movies with men telling tales of their back breaking, getting up in it, toe curling sexual prowess. Couple this with the myth that there’s something magical about a black man’s penis and what do you have—the perfect setting for a man who has to fake it even when he ain’t feeling it, can’t be honest about sexual issues he may be having, and certainly can feel as if there is something deeply and terribly wrong with him just for having sexual “problems”. Even if you’re the kind of man to keep your bedroom escapades to yourself—you’re not likely to hint around at any concerns or issues you might be having in that department. Not in this society where for many men the sum total of who they are lies in what they do (as in a job, work, etc.) and how they perform (as in whip it out and whip it on ya in the bedroom).

Let’s separate fact from fiction. According to a new national survey, at least 85% of American men say the last person they had sex with had an orgasm. And yet, only 64% of American women say they had an orgasm the last time they had sex. Hmmm… It seems that this so-called “orgasm gap” is just one of the findings of this survey, the largest since 1994, undertaken by Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion and published in a special issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

So, we know men can have sexual issues, right? So, free yourself up to talk about them and wives free your hubby’s up to feel ok to share.  The most common type of sexual dysfunction a man can have is premature ejaculation. Say it with me—-preeeee-mat-uuuure ejaaaaa-cu-laaaaation. It’s not a bad word–it’s an issue and it can be made better but you first have to acknowledge that there may be a possibility that you have this issue and say the damn word!

Premature Ejaculation (PE) is a male sexual dysfunction generally characterized by:

-ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs prior to or within about one minute of vaginal penetration;

-inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all vaginal penetrations;

-and negative personal consequences, such as distress, bother, frustration and/or the avoidance of sexual intimacy.

Sexuality Counselor, Dr. Ian Kern has a new book out titled Overcoming Premature Ejaculation and has blogged about the symptoms and solutions to PE. Here are some questions he says you should start with to see if PE could be an issue you’re having.

Do you suffer from chronic PE?

1. Are you unable to control how long you last during sex?

2. Do you climax within a minute or less of starting intercourse?

3. Have you tried various methods to deal with PE, only to have your hopes dashed?

4. Are you dissatisfied with your sex life?

5. Do you often worry about pleasing your partner?

6. Does even foreplay often lead to “end of play?”

7. Do you avoid intimate situations because they could lead to premature ejaculation—so why even bother?

8. Has PE damaged your relationships with women?

If you answered “yes” to most of these questions, you could have chronic PE. And you’re not alone. To learn more about PE and see where you can purchase Dr. Kern’s book CLICK HERE.

5 replies
  1. jimmy jack
    jimmy jack says:

    It s actually a great and useful piece of info. I am glad that you simply shared this helpful information with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Dr. Sy
    Dr. Sy says:

    Almost every man is born with premature ejaculation, so having it is perfectly normal to start with. Controlling ejaculation is something you have to learn just as you had to learn to control your bladder as a child. We get taught to control our bladders but no one teaches us how to control ejaculation.

    The American Academy of Family Physicians confirms that: Behavioral methods are helpful for more than 95 percent of men who have premature ejaculation. So, if you have tried exercises and they have not helped it is because they have not been explained properly to you. Many of the treatment programs offered online have not been written by professionals.

    Do not waste time or money on sprays, vitamins, herbs, dietary supplements or drugs. This is a learning problem and these things will not help you learn to control ejaculation any more than they can help you to learn to speak another language.

    There are a lot of high-priced programs advertised online but all you need is the information explained by a doctor and sex therapist that has been used successfully around the world for more than 32 years.

    It is called "Lasting Longer: The Treatment Program for Premature Ejaculation" by Dr. Sy Silverberg M.D.

    Visit the website for free tips on dealing with premature ejaculation.

  3. Rolawnda
    Rolawnda says:

    Thanks for talking about this.

  4. Mr Ree
    Mr Ree says:

    PE is real and it has definitely impacted the quality of some of my past experiences. I actually saw a therapist to hep me work through some of the anxiety I was experiencing whenever i was being intimate with a woman. I had issues with PE and ED (erectile dysfunction) and through doing some psychological work I was able to see some of the sources of my anxiety. I'm in a better space now. I would encourage all married men who experience this to seek help because it will only benefit your relationship

  5. Sonia
    Sonia says:

    You weren't playin when you said yall keep it real. Thank you for touching on this topic and encouraging the brothas to keep it honest. I think that is the best way to have a healthy sex life.

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