Happy Couples Don’t Fight?
By Team BLAM
For some reason some people have fallen victim to the idea that if you’re truly happy and fulfilled in your marriage—you won’t fight. Where on earth folks get this crazy idea from….I’ll never know. Perhaps, it’s what we see on TV and in the movies where couples ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. Perhaps, it’s because some married folks only talk about the positive in their marriages but don’t keep it real about the hard times. Whatever the reason—this is a perception that must be destroyed and put to death!
If you don’t think couples that are happy are supposed to fight then you certainly won’t know how to handle conflict when it inevitably rears it’s ugly head. And, like we always say here— The difference between successful and unsuccessful couples is NOT the absence of conflict but rather the ability to manage it. So, if you’re in the middle of a spat or a major disagreement or issue—know this: IT’S NORMAL!!!!!!!!! It comes with the territory of marriage and being in relationship with another human being.
Check out these quick tips from Bob & Sheri Stritof of About.com:
Here are some ways to handle marital disputes and resolve differences:
Make sure you clarify what it is you are discussing.
If either of you are too angry to discuss the situation or problem, then set a time to get together later to discuss it.
Be flexible and open to other solutions than your own. A willingness to compromise is important.
Don’t push one another’s buttons. Don’t be sarcastic or attack one another’s self image.
Don’t interrupt one another. Listen. Be aware of your own body language and what it may be saying.
Talk in a calm, respectful voice. Ranting and raving accomplishes nothing.
Remember that a fair argument can enhance a marriage. Fight for your marriage, not to win.
there is no progress, there can be no productivity, and there is in efficiency without conflict. Conflitct is the nature of the beast just so folk and things can move forward. there is an added bonus showing up these days with conflict 1. ways to learn how to do you w/o recourse 2. healthy rivalry and competition 3. cfun with someone 4. a way to communicate and relate with others I can come up with more.
conflict is healthy the lack of it is stressful and frustration. create a lil conflict to liven things up in your life.
My recent post HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE IN LOVE?
These are great tips to become good habits. After you put these tips to use, it gets easier and becomes the norm. I have been making more of an effort to focus on how I react, respond and relay the messages that I want to convey to my spouse. I noticed that when I stopped focusing on how he communicated with me in a heated debate, he noticed the change and implemented change also.
These are excellent tips. I'm gonna make a point to remind my wife tonight to manage herself and "talk in a calm, respectful voice"
I’m definitely gonna have to implement this in my relationship. Lately it’s been so easy to fight and so hard to have fun.