By John Gatens
There are some things you can do to help save your marriage no matter how messed up it is. Unfortunately, the majority of you who are reading this right now (and say you want to save your marriage) WON’T put this advice into action.
I’m talking about common sense ideas that are easy to implement, and won’t cost much in the way of money and again most people won’t try them, not even to save their marriage. Let’s see where you fall…
1) The first tip is maybe not as simple as it sounds. Just stop arguing.
When your partner says or does something that irritates you, you might want to correct them, or become moody or grumpy. You have to learn to let it go. If you can do this, you’re doing yourself and your partner a favour. When one of you learns to let things go, the other one is likely to follow suit. Don’t wait for your partner to do this.
You have to be the one to take the lead and learn to let things go. It’s possible your partner might be considering the same action, but no matter how badly both people want to save the marriage, usually only one of them takes the lead in trying to keep the peace. You should consider that it’s not really that important to be right all the time, it’s more important to be happy. If you have decided that you want to try and save the marriage, then that’s more important than always being right about everything, and highlighting your partner’s mistakes.
2) Start dating again.
Even if you’re not actually going out together, you should try to approach your relationship as it was in the early days, when you just started dating. If you have been in a long term relationship, this may not be easy, but it can be beneficial in helping to save the marriage.
When you first started dating and everything in the relationship was new, it was more exciting, and although your partner had faults, you either ignored them or endeared yourself to them. After a while the excitement dies down. and it’e easy to become bored. Familiarity is fine, but you don’t want everything to become boring and predictable. Surprise your partner with a special night out, or a surprise gift (corny, I know) but it can help lighten the mood and relive the tension.
3) Try and love your partner in the way he or she wants to be loved.
You should know the things that make your partner happy, and do them whenever possible. It may be a simple thing, for instance, they may like to be told often that you love them. Whatever it is, make the effort to do what makes them happy, and make them feel cherished.
4) Be affectionate in a physical sense.
No matter how long you’ve been together, love and marriage is not just about sex, even though that may be important. One of the best ways of keeping your marriage alive, is with romance. A surprise hug or kiss at any time of the day for no reason at all, is very powerful, and worth more than a thousand words.