I’m A Christian. He’s A Muslim. Should We Marry?

VIDEO: This girlfriend admits that she is deeply in love with her boyfriend. She says that they have a relationship that is centered around love and respect. But, there is one problem (or is it?)…they are of two different faiths. Do you and your spouse practice the same religion? Can people of two different faiths live and love together and raise healthy well rounded children? Here, we explore some important ingredients to help you get through the stickiness of different spiritual paths and help you achieve harmony in your home.


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15 replies
  1. Nafe7
    Nafe7 says:

    Pt. II- Very few African-Americans have little knowledge or experience when it comes to that or even care to know. So when you take it back even farther prior to Slavery, you only know what you chose or seek to know! To take it to a religious level, why would God/Allah allow you to be in a "true" loving situation and then tell you it's wrong? Nothing is an accident (in a religious sense). We were all placed here for a reason and if you are unwilling to seek out why these "other" Humans are here on this planet with you. Are you about love or just about what you "believe" God desires. There is no one path to any single destination. Some people run, walk, crawl, skip, jump. If you close your mind to other possibilites (Black president, Black people can't swim, Black cats are bad luck, Woman president, etc, Black people can't read/write), then you will march in place and get passed by, while everybody else experience new levels of love and completes the race.

    • Victory
      Victory says:


  2. Nafe7
    Nafe7 says:

    From reading all the posts, I haven't seen anyone mention a key statement (summarized) about " transforming or changing your paradigm when it comes to your perspective (in love) with respect to this issue to enhance who you are as a person! It was also stated "Know one can assume, what we know is all there is to know"! Those kind of statements and examples are very real when you consider children born in the 70's have no real concept of Jim Crow treatment versus our mothers, fathers and grandparents.

  3. Grey
    Grey says:

    Marriage is bout accepting and respect each other differences, as long as the love is connecting in both parties no matter what they are different religion…

  4. Hope
    Hope says:

    I am in a mixed faith marriage also. We have 1 child. As a Christian woman I strive daily to exemplify Jesus as I have been instructed in the word of God. My husband has great respect for me because he is very disciplined in Islam. The issue for me would be if he was a hypocrite or weak and not practicing his faith according to his statutes. I encourage him to be the best Muslim he can for whatever reward will be due him from God as he knows him. When it comes to our child, I leave Islam completely up to him. I can not teach it, nor condemn it as I do not believe it is my call. I give my child my faith and as I nurture them to build a relationship with our savior, we also build our relationship to each other. At this point it has been a great learning experience for our child who has not yet identified their faith preference yet. And it’s okay with us that she hasn’t. Love is the glue in our family. Not religion.

  5. Tamika Childs
    Tamika Childs says:

    Just watched the video, and I couldn't disagree more. Alternate? Celebrate?! Your faith isn't a holiday…lol. It's the basis of your life. That's like alternating being black! Your belief makes you who you are. If there isn't any discernment on the depths of the beliefs themselves, it's unfair and inaccurate to advise folks based solely on how they feel. Marriage is so much deeper than that!! Let's say one person never wants children, the other wants many. There isn't a middle ground to ever single issue. If the two of you can't agree on the very thing you're rooted in, it's best that you don't. It's a disaster waiting to happen.

    • Abdul
      Abdul says:

      Sis I totally disagree with you. And it's not based on theory and "what should be" but rather what is currently and has been my life. I've experienced the maturation process of blending two faiths firsthand in my relationship with my wife who is Christian. Yes we had major disagreements, yes there were many uncomfortable moments…BUT…..because we remained committed to each other and the process of building our relationship upon a foundation of common principles and what we consider "complimentary religions" for the past 12 years, we are happy and consider ourselves blessed. Oh and and we have children as well. We both agree that God is way bigger than our religions so that principle / belief enables us to continue to build a balanced family. So again, I gotta say it can work….because it is working with us. We gotta open our minds Sis.

  6. Tamika Childs
    Tamika Childs says:

    Not possible. The beliefs are polar opposite. Your belief is as concrete as the ground we walk on, so it's much more than a title, it's a lifestyle. If am centered in my belief that the ONLY path to God is by Jesus, and my husband believes that Jesus was JUST a powerless man, how can we agree on ANYTHING in our lives? If I am required to raise a child up to know and love God and be that example in their lives and my husband believes differently, do we just pattern our lives totally seperate and tell our children to choose, eeny, meeny, miny, moe? If it's my belief that the difference in the two is heaven and hell, why would I EVER present my children with such an option?

    • Tamika Childs
      Tamika Childs says:

      Pt. 2
      When they're adults, they'll have that optin, but its our responsibility as parents to be the living example. So how can we do that if we don't agree? To marry someone who believes something completely opposite of you is to bring division into your home. Any harmony with regards to joining the 2 will require you to sacrifice your faith. There's no sugarcoating it. So the answer to the question TRULY isn't if we can co-habitate peacefully, rather can you waiver on your faith. And that is dependent upon the people involved.

  7. Ptah180
    Ptah180 says:

    And that's why I dont do religions, especially Christianty and Islam. How many people have died all in the name of God?

  8. Abdulrhman Al-Ali
    Abdulrhman Al-Ali says:

    Say words of love to all we see, to Muslims and Christians the love is EQUAL.. let us lift up humanity.. spread love all over.. let all its forces join as one, so to rebuke all signs of evil.. through every valley, land and sea.. our love is ALL PEOPLE 🙂

  9. Kenya
    Kenya says:

    I came across this topic through a search as I am deeply confused and frustrated and find myself pondering this question in my own relationship. I have been dating a Muslim man and the two of us are devout in our faith. Unfortunately, he was not upfront with me when we met and I thought he was a Christian. However, it was also my fault because I never asked the question of his denomination. He revealed to me that he was a Muslim by praying in front of me 3 months after we were dating. During our courting stage, we have learned that we have so much in common. The chemistry we have is amazing and we love each other very much. He asked me to marry him not long ago and I said yes. It seems that after we got engaged, obstacles have been put in front of us left and right and I can't ignore what's going on.

    We both come from homes of a strong spiritual foundation. He has no problem with me being a Christian and how I choose to worship, however, I can't seem to find comfort in our differences. We argue over one thing all of the time and its religion. The problem that I have is that I understand no one is perfect, but it irritates me when we don't stand for what we believe in according to the instruction given to us by God. I'm a Christian and God's word clearly states what he permits and what he does not. Too often we do what feels good to us instead of doing what we are instructed to do – this is why we believe and allow God's word to order our life and how we make decisions. This is for all faiths – whatever word you read and believe.

    I think in the end, its all about what you can accept. People are different and we should respect differences. While I find myself distraught about my own situation, I believe the important thing is not to ignore my instincts or feelings. You have to follow your heart and when you don't – resentment and destruction could follow as a result. If two people of different faiths are strong in what they believe, it is not a good idea in my opinion to marry. I believe practice of the same faith allows two people to walk together with understanding and a sense of direction for how you make decisions and confront things in your life together.

    In conclusion, it can work but I believe there are consequences for the decisions we make and you have to be ready to handle them. As for me, I just can't seem to find comfort in marrying someone of a different faith. I wish this were not so, but its important to be honest with yourself:(

  10. Harriet
    Harriet says:

    I think it depends on whether or not your faith is just "religion" or relationship. While I agree there is more than one way, both these faiths hold ETERNITY in high regard. Both have concepts of heaven and hell, and both have totally different pathways on how to get there.

    Typically in relationships like this, one will eventually influence the other to change their faith (at least that's what my meager experience has witnessed). Nevertheless, in both faiths, there are "grace" clauses that leave the door open for you to marry someone of a different faith.

    I agree that it's going to take a lot of communication on your parts when it comes to your future children. Both the Koran and the Bible are patriarchal books that require the husband to be the leader of the household…hopefully it won't come to him saying that you all will raise your children in his faith PERIOD. That will definitely cause problems.

    Personally I don't think it's a good idea, especially if both of you are dedicated to your faith. However, like the Ma'ats said, you don't come across the kind of chemistry you have all the time. It's going to take a lot of prayer, communication, love and understanding to make this work…but hey, that's what marriage is all about. Just tread very lightly, and if ever a difference arises that may be a showstopper for you, don't ignore the red flags…put them out on the table and make your decisions with your eyes wide open.
    .-= Harriet´s last blog ..Father Can You Hear Me? =-.

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