by Reginald Williams In responding to Ayize Ma’at’s post , “Women Today Ain’t like the Women of Yesterday,” I found myself between the lines of a lively thread. The crux of the discussion strongly revolved around the belief and non-belief in biblical precepts especially as it relates to marriage.
Today I’m not here to defend any biblical principle, instead I choose to briefly speak on the importance of the bible. Trust me – that last sentence isn’t an oxymoron.
Most folks, whether they are a proponent or an opponent, think the bible is or assumed to be a sacred document based on a religious indoctrination. For the sake of this writing one’s definition has no importance. Instead I want to focus on the Webster Dictionary designation of the bible that reads, “A publication that is preeminent especially in authoritativeness . . . .”
This past Sunday four National Football League teams played in two conference championships. Each team built the principles of their team play on their biblical precept called a “Playbook.” Each of you reading this writing potentially is employed by an organization, who, upon hiring you handed you a bible called the “Employee Handbook,” which includes their “Code of Conduct.” The laptop which I authored this article with included a bible called “The Instruction Manual.” If there’s a miscue on the football field; if you have a problem with your employer or they have one with you, or if my laptop fails to work properly – in each situation the bible (the publication that is preeminent in authoritativeness that provides the indoctrination for that situation) is referred to for answers. Those preeminent publications serve as a proven source of knowledge greater than the individuals that rely upon them.
So I ask what preeminent publication of authority do you rely on in your marriage?
Where do you and your spouse go to secure solutions to issues and practices for how your marriage will operate? Or do you just enter into your union carrying the luggage of your individual indoctrinations about marriage. Some folk might suggest that their principles will evolve over time – and there is some truth to that. However with divorce in America hovering north of 45 percent, too often waiting for principles to evolve marks the death of a marriage.
So how does a society with a rising divorce rate, especially in the African-American community, stem the tsunami of broken marriages? When your marriage hits that crossroad – and it will – where you possess one belief and your spouse owns a polar opposite disposition, what will serve as your preeminent publication back to love? Will any authority be referenced?
Can your marriage survive without a preeminent publication – a “Love Book” that lays out a strategy for how to love; a “Marital Handbook” that clearly states the “code of conduct” or an “Instruction Manual” that provides authentic insight of how to correct issues when marital problems arise? Or are biblical precepts nothing more than “religious indoctrinations” that don’t account for the cultural differences of modern day – subsequently making them irrelevant?
If football teams rely on playbooks to achieve championship success and employers issue handbooks to ensure that the code of conduct is clearly understood, and manufacturers issue instruction manuals to enhance product productivity for the user, and building contractors utilize blueprints to build massive structures based on century old percepts, then why would husbands and wives choose against relying on a preeminent publication of authoritativeness? I’m just asking!
Reginald Williams, an Award-winning journalist and Certified Relationship Coach, is the co-founder of Marriage Nectar, a marriage and relationship enrichment company and the author of the blog www.ruleyourwife316.com. You can follow Reggie on Twitter at Twitter.com/Ruleyourwife or contact him at www.marriagenectar.com.