by Ayize Ma’at When entering the dating arena some of the feelings that frequently confront people are fear, anxiety, and excitement. We fear the unknown and in some instances are absolutely terrified of the idea of letting someone into our world. We are anxious about our presentation to the world and thus gripped by anxiety over the possibility that someone’s perception of us may not line up with what we project. We are excited about the newness of a “fresh start” and the opportunity to create the relationship we’ve always desired. With all of these feeling present it’s important that we take a balanced approach to dating. Below I will give you three tips on how to keep the scale even.
1. Be APPETIZING and APPROACHABLE
Sounds simple right. We get so many questions from people that have neglected their appearance and personal hygiene wondering “Why ain’t nobody interested in me?” Are you serious. Take time to invest in your appearance. If you don’t look good TO and FOR you…..there’s a good chance you won’t look good TO and FOR somebody else. ONCE you get yourself “so fresh and so clean” please put yourself in places and situations where you have the opportunity to be approached. Don’t be “the recluse” questioning why you can’t get a date. Get off the couch and get out the house. BE APPROACHABLE. Make eye contact. Dance by yourself. Allow someone to buy you a drink. If you want to be approached….BE APPROACHABLE.
2. Be INTERESTED and INTERESTING
This is essential when you are entering into a relationship with someone because it sets the tone for your relationship dynamic. Notice we put “BE INTERESTED” first. This was intentionally done because generally speaking other people want to feel valued in a relationship. Therefore if you express interest in their hobbies, work, dreams, etc. you are lifting them up and indirectly saying “you are important to me”. Who doesn’t want to feel important? After you express interest in …….BE INTERESTING. One of the worst things in the world is to feel like you HAVE to talk because the person you’re dating has NOTHING to talk about. So BE INTERESTING. Share your hobbies, opinions, and dreams. If done carefully and respectfully this will definitely get the conversation going and keep it flowing.
3. Be CONFIDENT and COMPOSED
It’s exciting to be in a relationship with someone that knows “who they are”. Someone that is comfortable in their own skin and that exudes self assuredness is often seen as sexy and has a unique command for attention. You want to be that person. BE CONFIDENT. Know who you are and your inherent value to the world. While being confident…please BE COMPOSED. When you lose your composure and allow confidence to become cockiness you can definitely lose “cool points”. Cockiness has a way of coming off as narcissism and can definitely END a budding relationship. Remember… people want to date people that are self assured…not self absorbed. So BE CONFIDENT and COMPOSED.
These three tips will put you on the right path to creating opportunities for new relationships. We always say if you want something different in your life you’ve got to do something different in your life. So while dating please remain balanced by being APPETIZING and APPROACHABLE, be INTERESTED and INTRIGUING, and last but not least be CONFIDENT and COMPOSED. By taking this approach you will feel better about YOU and the possibility of finding new love.