By Teresa Atkin, After spending years working with couples and individuals who have been through a breakup ordivorce, it seems that there are problems that keep coming up over and over again. Wouldn’t it be good to know where to really concentrate our efforts so we can give our marriages the best chance at survival? Here are […]
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For many people, especially women, much of their mental energy goes into stuffing their feelings so far down they don’t even know they have them. They spend their life pleasing others, seeking the approval of everyone but themselves. “We are nobodies. We are in hiding. We don’t know who we are,” says psychologist Emilie […]
By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT Enabling is a term often used in the context of a relationship with an addict. It might be a drug addict or alcoholic, a gambler, or a compulsive overeater. Enablers, rather than addicts, suffer the effects of the addict’s behavior. Enabling is “removing the natural consequences to the addict of […]
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By Team BLAM We’ve said on many occasions that relationships require hard work. Sometimes, (i.e., a lot of times!) we seem to forget that as human beings and want everything to go our way. We don’t understand why we have to endure so much friction. Our question to you is: Why not? Anything worth having […]
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By Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D When someone gets their knickers in a twist and blows up, how do you handle it? If your current way of dealing with emotional fireworks isn’t working, here are ten tips to help you the next time one happens. Start by staying calm. Keep yourself from getting sucked into the emotional vortex. […]
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By Dinyah Rein What is the impact of miscommunication in your relationship? How often are you frustrated that “they” didn’t get what you meant? Do you find yourself doing what you thought “they” wanted, only to find out it wasn’t? Whether “they” are your customer, your employer, your employee, your spouse, parent, child or friend, […]
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By Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC & C.R. Zwolinski Anger’s ubiquitousness makes it almost banal. The disguises it wears, though, can be surprisingly colorful. Others sense, sometimes easily, that anger lurks, but the mask-wearer often has a hard time understanding that what he or she is feeling is anger. Here are the top ten ways anger expresses […]
http://www.blackloveandmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/logo.png00http://www.blackloveandmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/logo.png2013-04-03 16:25:162019-01-18 14:52:2210 Ways Your Anger Hides….Even From You.
By Margaret Paul, Ph.d. No one SAYS they want a terrible relationship, yet so many people go about creating them that we need to assume they must WANT them! So, here’s my 7 Step foolproof guide to creating a terrible relationship. 1. TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN FEELINGS Make sure that you do not […]
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By Veronica Jacques Help Me Oh God! It had been four years into my marriage when I finally had to sit down and have a long conversation with myself. Being brutally honest and with no excuses I had to admit my marriage was a mess. I no longer felt love, affection, adoration, even friendship from […]
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By Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D For some people, this is a truly radical idea: There is no need to fight with your partner. Ever. Accusations, recriminations, character assassination, threats, name-calling, and cursing, whether delivered at top volume or with a quiet sarcastic sneer, damage a relationship, often irrevocably. Nobody needs to be a monster or to be treated monstrously. Nobody […]
http://www.blackloveandmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/logo.png00http://www.blackloveandmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/logo.png2013-03-22 10:22:512019-01-18 14:52:22A Thin Line Between Love And Hate: How To Fight Fairly As A Couple
6 Divorce Causing Mistakes Women Make
/in Conflict Management/byBy Teresa Atkin, After spending years working with couples and individuals who have been through a breakup ordivorce, it seems that there are problems that keep coming up over and over again. Wouldn’t it be good to know where to really concentrate our efforts so we can give our marriages the best chance at survival? Here are […]
Are Your Feelings Hurt?
/in Conflict Management/byFor many people, especially women, much of their mental energy goes into stuffing their feelings so far down they don’t even know they have them. They spend their life pleasing others, seeking the approval of everyone but themselves. “We are nobodies. We are in hiding. We don’t know who we are,” says psychologist Emilie […]
Are You Ready To Stop Being An Enabler?
/in Conflict Management/byBy Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT Enabling is a term often used in the context of a relationship with an addict. It might be a drug addict or alcoholic, a gambler, or a compulsive overeater. Enablers, rather than addicts, suffer the effects of the addict’s behavior. Enabling is “removing the natural consequences to the addict of […]
8 Need To Know Lessons About Love
/in Ask The Maat's Real Questions...Real Answers, Conflict Management, Love & Marriage/byBy Team BLAM We’ve said on many occasions that relationships require hard work. Sometimes, (i.e., a lot of times!) we seem to forget that as human beings and want everything to go our way. We don’t understand why we have to endure so much friction. Our question to you is: Why not? Anything worth having […]
How To Manage Your Emotions When You Feel Yourself “Going There”
/in Conflict Management/byBy Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D When someone gets their knickers in a twist and blows up, how do you handle it? If your current way of dealing with emotional fireworks isn’t working, here are ten tips to help you the next time one happens. Start by staying calm. Keep yourself from getting sucked into the emotional vortex. […]
No More Miscommunication: 7 Keys To Creating Understanding
/in Communication, Conflict Management/byBy Dinyah Rein What is the impact of miscommunication in your relationship? How often are you frustrated that “they” didn’t get what you meant? Do you find yourself doing what you thought “they” wanted, only to find out it wasn’t? Whether “they” are your customer, your employer, your employee, your spouse, parent, child or friend, […]
10 Ways Your Anger Hides….Even From You.
/in Conflict Management/byBy Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC & C.R. Zwolinski Anger’s ubiquitousness makes it almost banal. The disguises it wears, though, can be surprisingly colorful. Others sense, sometimes easily, that anger lurks, but the mask-wearer often has a hard time understanding that what he or she is feeling is anger. Here are the top ten ways anger expresses […]
7-Step Foolproof Guide To Creating A TERRIBLE Relationship
/in Conflict Management/byBy Margaret Paul, Ph.d. No one SAYS they want a terrible relationship, yet so many people go about creating them that we need to assume they must WANT them! So, here’s my 7 Step foolproof guide to creating a terrible relationship. 1. TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN FEELINGS Make sure that you do not […]
How to Find Joy in Staying Married to a Passive Aggressive Husband: Ten Ideas to Protect Your Emotional Well-Being and Maintain a Healthy Marriage
/in Conflict Management/byBy Veronica Jacques Help Me Oh God! It had been four years into my marriage when I finally had to sit down and have a long conversation with myself. Being brutally honest and with no excuses I had to admit my marriage was a mess. I no longer felt love, affection, adoration, even friendship from […]
A Thin Line Between Love And Hate: How To Fight Fairly As A Couple
/in Conflict Management/byBy Marie Hartwell-Walker, Ed.D For some people, this is a truly radical idea: There is no need to fight with your partner. Ever. Accusations, recriminations, character assassination, threats, name-calling, and cursing, whether delivered at top volume or with a quiet sarcastic sneer, damage a relationship, often irrevocably. Nobody needs to be a monster or to be treated monstrously. Nobody […]