A Couple Of Classic Throw Back ‘Cosby Show’ Clips To Crack You Up!

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By Team BLAM

What follows is a couple of classic throw back “Cosby Show” clips to remind us of how important family is and give you some friday warm and fuzzies along with a good laugh to top it all off. Enjoy!

Huxtable Family Happy Anniversary Performance

The Huxtable family teams up to show their love and celebrate their grandparents’ 49th anniversary with a lip-sync rendition of Ray Charles’ classic, “Night Time Is The Right Time”. We think Rudy is absolutely hilarious!

Claire Huxtable lets Elvin (Sandra’s boyfriend) have it!

Claire asks Elvin if he would like a cup of coffee and Elvin replies “I didn’t know you did that kind of thing”. Claire asks “What kind of thing?” to which Elvin replies “Serve”. Well, what happens next….don’t let us ruin it—have a listen.

Video Content Courtesy of Carsey Werner, LLC.

Don’t Forget Where You Come From. Your Roots Can Be Found With A Family Tree.

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By Jerry Cahill

What is a Family Tree? A family tree is like a pedigree for human beings. It is used to record the individual’s ancestors over a number of generations. Family trees can be very simple, recording only immediate ancestors. They may also be very elaborate, recording siblings and intermarriages, resulting in a far more detailed version of the individual’s history. An individual might choose to pursue his or her own edification, or it may be pursued to answer medical questions or other questions the individual may have pertaining to his or her family history. A family tree is also known as a “genealogical tree.”

What is Geneaology? Geneaology is the study of the family tree(s) of a family or of families. Although most people seem to concentrate on their own family tree, there are some people who simply enjoy creating genealogical records. Genealogy research is becoming an increasingly popular hobby, with online search sites and “how-to” information springing up all over the Internet.

How do I get Started in Genealogy Research? Organizations of interest to genealogy hobbyist are easy to find. Some only

require a simple search in your yellow pages (didn’t know people still used them did you?) If it is not possible to find one there, then Internet organizations are a simple keystroke away. Ancestry.com is one such place to start. It is not necessary to join an organization; however, having other contacts may make it easier and less expensive if you have people can help you in your research.

Begin by interviewing any living relatives that you have, who might be able to provide you with names and photographs of people over several generations. Doing complete interviews instead of those that simply track dates of births, marriages, and deaths will help you understand your family a bit better–and may lead to fascinating stories as well. After all, isn’t that what you’re interested in? Facts and dates are wonderful, but understanding why Aunt Martha was the “Marietta Belle” is probably worth a hundred of those things.

Once you have those things in hand, start searching databases for more information. Census records can provide a good idea of people’s movements during life, while obituaries and special death indices can help you track your ancestors after they have died. Not all of these data bases and indices are free of charge, but most are reasonably priced. Don’t be afraid to pay for information. Most of the best sources do charge for their information and you will get your money’s worth if you pay.

Unlike the past, in which it was necessary to engage in extensive library research, letter-writing campaigns, or travel to find results, all the amateur genealogist need do is log onto the Internet and start searching data bases. As you proceed with your research, be certain to carefully record your results in a family tree chart, either over the Internet or by hand on a paper chart. No matter which method you choose, make certain to keep a backup of your work. If you prefer to record things by hand, then make certain you keep a record of whatever shorthand you may use and whatever sources that you used to find your material. Once you get started, it won’t be long before you have a fascinating insight on your family that your family can consult for generations to come.

Jerry Cahill writes on the subject of genealogy. You can see some of his work at familygenealogytreesite.com.

Strong Family 101: Do You ‘Give Thanks’ WITH Your Family Consistently?

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By Aiyana Ma’at

A few years ago the Creator placed on my heart the need for my husband, Ayize, and I and our children to create a time to come together purely to give thanks to God for all that He has done, is doing and will continue to do in our lives. I expressed what I was feeling to my husband and he was like “Cool”. So profound! Lol.

You may be thinking “Oh, yes this is wonderful. We do it all the time in our family”. And, if you do that’s GREAT. It really does make a profound impact on you and everyone who participates. It’s one of those things that you can’t truly appreciate until you get into the posture of gratitude and experience it. And, I’m not talking about giving thanks together at church or in a public venue outside of the house. I’m not talking about saying “Thank you Lord!” in passing while you’re around your family and I’m not talking about when you bless your food before a meal together. I’m talking about creating a ritual where your family comes to know that, for example, on Monday evenings at 7pm the lights dim a bit, soft meditative music is played to signal to your household that it is time to give thanks, one child knows it’s his job to light the ______candle (whatever you want to call it—unity candle, gratitude candle, etc.), another child knows it’s their job to pour libations, and the life changing power of giving thanks begins.

So, let me pause for a second for those of you who are reading this right now and are thinking “What is the big freaking deal? Is it really that serious? Is having an attitude of gratitude important? Well, I can only speak for myself and my family. Being grateful literally transforms my energy, my atmosphere, and my internal feelings. It just shifts my perception of my life and centers me in what is most important.

Unlockyourhappiness.com has this to say about gratitude:

Is having an attitude of gratitude important?

When it comes to experiencing a better life, Gratitude is considered to be a ‘biggie’. Some of the self-improvement gurus even talk about a Law of Gratitude. Many people keep a daily gratitude journal in which they write up a gratitude list of things to be grateful for that day. And apparently lots of people carry a gratitude rock in their pocket to remind them to express gratitude during the day.

The vibration of gratitude

It is said that having an attitude of gratitude carries with it a vibration that raises one’s own power of positive thinking so that we attract towards us all things good. Our desires are more easily fulfilled, and we experience a happier and healthier life.

Some would regard this as New Age thinking, and dismiss it out of hand. Some believers would say, ‘don’t deny it if you haven’t tried it’.

While I must admit that my family and I haven’t been as consistent as  I’d like, it is something that always brings calm, peace, joy, coziness, and the love of God in our home when we do it. I also know that even when my 4 year old is flip flopping all over the place and I have to keep telling my 5 year old to sit down please (in my fake it til you make it sweet mommy voice) they are learning and absorbing from me, my husband, and the atmosphere.

Never underestimate the impact you can have on your family—your kids and your spouse. I, for one, will use as much as I can in any way that I can to influence my family as much as I can. Will you?

BLAM Fam, What are some of the things you do or will start doing with your family to GIVE THANKS? There are so many ways. Share them with us!

Aiyana Ma’at is the wife of Ayize Ma’at, mom of 4, and co-founder and owner of this website, BlackLoveAndMarriage.com, as well as PurposePusher.com. Aiyana is a Seeker, Motivator, Risk Taker, Explorer, & Overcomer. She is a self-described PurposePusher and does her best to live her life with self-awareness and intention. Some of her official titles include licensed psycho-therapist, certified marriage educator & relationship coach and speaker. She is clear that a part of the call on her life is to help bring insight and awareness to others so that they can “get out of their own way” and create the lives they want to have.

This Halloween The Ma’at Family Is Taking The Healthy Halloween House Pledge

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According to the CDC, kids born after the year 2000 are predicted to have a shorter lifespan than their parents. Isn’t that crazy? When I read that I knew something had to change in the way that we are are raising and educating our children about nutrition and healthy living.

I’m not a health nut by any means. In fact I’m one of those people  who gets annoyed by low fat, low calorie…candy, cookies, or ice cream for example. I’ve been known to say on many occasions “If I’m gonna have a cookie the I’m gonna do it right–give me the real thing!”

However, when I had children my “not the best” eating habits became painfully obvious and I started to make small shifts in what I prepared and exposed my children too. I started to be more intentional about having conversations with them about making good food choices. The hardest (but most important) part for me was that if I was going to talk about it, I had to be about it myself!

One of the things that I have found to work for me and my family is making small incremental changes over time. Personally, I think those are the changes that truly last. So, when I learned about the Healthy Halloween House pledge I was intrigued and inspired. We never allow our kids to eat all of the candy they get during Halloween anyway. We let them have their little bags for about a week (if that) and allow them 1 or 2 pieces a day and then magically–it disappears (in the trash). Amazingly, they’ve never even noticed. I think my children are more excited about getting their costumes and seeing how much candy they can pile up than anything else. So, I thought “Why not make our house a Healthy Halloween house this year?” Small changes in our family’s behavior like this = big time awareness and impact on my children that will serve them for a lifetime. So, I’m proud to say we went to the store and got a bunch of inexpensive non-food trick or treat alternatives like little balls, silly bandz, thumb puppets, bracelets, etc.

Healthy Halloween House is a national grassroots campaign to create a healthier world for our kids free from obesity and diet-related disease. The organization consists of all volunteers working in joyful service for healthier kids. HHH is an initiative of Leadership for a Healthier World and is not funded or sponsored by anyone.

The web site has a parents’ pledge and many healthy and non-food trick-or-treat alternatives. The pledge is:

“As a Healthy Halloween House, I pledge to provide a Trick-or-Treat alternative for kids that is not candy or junk food. I believe we can create a healthier world for our kids that strengthens our community without contributing to the epidemic of childhood obesity.”

These are some other fun giveaways for Halloween that are not edible:

Temporary tattoos

Silly Bandz

Stickers

Brightly Colored Halloween pencils

Sidewalk chalk

Toothbrushes

Money/coins

Small packs of crayons or pencils

School supplies

Play-Doh

Bubbles

Play jewelry

Super balls

Glow sticks/bracelets/necklaces

Spider rings

Many more non-food giveaways are available at Oriental Trading.

So, BLAM Fam: Would you consider making your house a Healthy Halloween House this year or is it just an insult to Halloween? Lol.

What Makes Strong & Nurturing Families?

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By Judy H. Wright

Human beings have the longest dependency on others than any other living creature. We spend our lives in relationships, either toxic or nurturing. If the family of origin was not supportive and loving, we either repeat that pattern or look for other mentors and teachers.

Can you visualize a closed fist as opposed to an open hand? That is the difference between a closed and dysfunctional group and a learning, sharing and supportive one. The closed one is turned inward and harsh in judgment and expectations. The open one is welcoming and willing to help others as well as receive help.

Closed or Open Families

When we look at families, either of birth or deliberate connection, we admire and wish to emulate, there are usually a number of variables present in the makeup. One or more are usually absent from a closed or dysfunctional family organizations.

  1. Open communication. The members are free to express opinions and make mistakes without losing love. They talk often and freely express feelings and emotions. They look for new ways to encourage each other and don’t just do what has always been done. The family members ask for help, forgiveness and support when it is needed.
  2. A sense of “us”. A family is made up of individuals with different needs and abilities. Those individuals form a synergy where the sum of the parts is greater than each one alone. The members of the family know that someone “has their back” and will support their endeavors.
  3. Boundaries and guidance. Boundaries and rules of society are not to keep others out, but to keep us safe by understanding the limits of acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
  4. Mutual respect. Strong families provide a sense of shared history and traditions. The family actively teaches and models morals, ethics and respect for others.
  5. Affectionate and loving. Parents and families who only touch by pushing or pulling do not recognize the value of a loving and kind pat on the head, hug or kiss. Words and actions of love and acceptance are experienced daily in strong families and then radiated out to the world.
  6. A sense of optimism and hope for the future. Families that are connected are strong in good times and bad. They model positive coping strategies and recognize life lessons in occasional failures.

Can you and your family change, even if negative patterns have been established over a long period of time? The answer is a resounding yes. The more we know, the more we grow.

Thank You for Your Important Work

I applaud you for seeking help with improving your relationships. Enhancing the bonds of understanding between individuals is the first step in building better families, neighborhoods, communities, areas, nations and a world of peace and harmony. Isn’t that what we all want?

BLAM Fam: If you had to use 2 words to best describe your family, what would they be. Would they words like strong or nurturing? Why or why not?

Judy H. Wright is a mother of 6 adult children and 9 grandchildren. She has also been a parent educator for more than 30 years. Visit her at Disciplineyespunishno.com.

Balancing Work & Family When You Run Your Business From Home

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By Aiyana Ma’at

If you don’t know by now my husband and I are best friends, lovers, parents, and…business partners. We love, eat, sleep, & breathe our company, it’s mission , and the people we have the opportunity to serve. We were just talking the other day about all of the possibilities and ideas we have (or should I say Ayize—he’s the spectacular idea guy). Between running our amazingly & rapidly growing site ( I can’t believe how fast the site is growing myself some times when Ayize shows me the latest numbers—oh yeah, he’s the numbers guy too…smile), teaching our relationship education classes, providing coaching & counseling, and our speaking engagements we have a whole lot to balance with work.

And, then of course, there’s my babies. 🙂 We have 4 beautiful (and exhausting) children and they are the lights that light up our lives. We’re often in awe of just how much coordination and stamina it takes to manage 4 children–each with their own unique personalities, desires, and schedules. Between school, homework, school band (and practicing the trombone LOUDLY), chess club, french classes, yoga classes, cheerleading, and we’re adding golf to the round-up….let’s just say it’s a WHOLE LOT!

We also really try hard to make sure that we’re really spending time with each other as a family getting to know each other beyond the “familiar family” kind of knowing. You can be around each other but not really be spending quality time with each other. It’s so important to really “be” with each other.

So, are you as exhausted as I am just reading all of that and thinking about how much you have going on in your own family life? I’m sure you are. But, here’s the thing no matter how busy we get and how much we have going on we have committed to being intentional about how we live our lives from day today and how we choose to focus our precious energy and time. Here are some tips that I’ve found have really helped us as we live out lives from day to day:

YOU HAVE TO SET BOUNDARIES THE SAME WAY YOU WOULD IF IT WERE A 9 TO 5

This one has been hard for us but we are constantly trying to get better at  working smarter not necessarily longer or harder. I mean how productive can you really be when you’re up all hours of the night–night after night? I used to think “Hey, that’s how I operate but I know better now. Our bodies need sleep just like they need water.

AROUND 5 OR 6 PM YOU MUST BE LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO PAUSE WORK.

Many of us have small kids and they go to bed early. If you must finish a task do it once they’re in bed. During evening hours, family time is #1, work is far down the list of priorities. We usually do three to five hours of more work after the kids go to sleep.

DINNER TIME IS IMPORTANT.

This follows the first rule of stopping around 5pm, take a few hours, play with your kids, interact with them. Talk to your husband, family, parents, something but get away from the computer and be social with the people important to you.

GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Its imperative that you get out of the house/office or place you work. Ayize and I try to find time as much as we can to get outside and go for walks. Going to beautiful places like parks or near water is very soothing to me and I feel like I can concentrate better.

Bottom Line. Life is a balancing act. Do the best you can and never lose sight of what’s most important: FAMILY

Aiyana Ma’at is the wife of Ayize Ma’at, mom of 4, and co-founder and owner of this website, BlackLoveAndMarriage.com, as well as PurposePusher.com. Aiyana is a Seeker, Motivator, Risk Taker, Explorer, & Overcomer. She is a self-described PurposePusher and does her best to live her life with self-awareness and intention. Some of her official titles include licensed psycho-therapist, certified marriage educator & relationship coach and speaker. She is clear that a part of the call on her life is to help bring insight and awareness to others so that they can “get out of their own way” and create the lives they want to have.

Count Down To National Family Pajama Night! November 19, 2011

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By Team BLAM

Have you marked Saturday, November 19th on your family’s calendar? If not, you should block off the evening for National Family Pajama Night.

National Family Pajama Night is an initiative created by The Company Store. The campaign was created to inspire parents to spend an evening at home with their families doing creative, fun, memory-making activities. When modern-family life is filled with activities, places to go and things to do, it’s nice to know that there’s a time set aside for being together and having fun.

And along with this campaign for family, The Company Store has partnered with The Pajama Program, a non-profit organization that provides, new, warm pajamas and books to needy children in the United States and around the world, many of whom are waiting to be adopted and don’t know the comfort of being tucked in to bed each night by a loving parent.

By signing the pledge to take part in National Family Pajama Night, you’ll help The Company Store reach its goal of 20,000 pledges. And once the goal is met, The Company Store will donate $20,000 to The Pajama Program. Money that can go a lot of good for a lot of children.

So we hope you’ll take a moment to make room in your family calendar for Family Pajama Night. Sign the pledge and don’t forget to check out the National Family Pajama Night website for ideas of ways to spend your evening together.

Chicago Grandmother Started A Safe Haven For Kids In Her Living Room

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In Diane Latiker’s mind, it’s all been about the strength and mercy of her Lord and savior. How else can you explain how a 54-year-old mother and grandmother’s most vulnerable and frightening times resulted in her most courageous stand?

Eight years ago, Latiker stood utterly petrified over the mere thought of her 13-year-old daughter simply venturing outside their far South Side Chicago home. So rampant and random was all the violence in their Roseland neighborhood that in the last four years alone nearly 400 teens have lost their lives to gang-related violence.

It led Latiker to begin erecting a stone memorial just steps from her home to commemorate all the fallen and “shock the community” into action. To date, there are some 220 stones standing, with orders for more than 150 more.

“The gangs were everywhere, even right next door,” Latiker said of her motivation to start the Kids Off the Block community program in the living room of her home in 2003. Today, the now nationally recognized program has served more than 1,500 11- to 24-year-olds and Latiker is being saluted among CNN’s Top 10 Heroes of 2011.

“People said I was crazy because I let kids into my home that I didn’t even know,” said Latiker, the mother of eight children and grandmother of 13. “How could I not? We are losing a whole generation to violence. I’ve had six gangs in my home at one time. But that was the only safe place for them to be and I found that they respected that. We were in my dining room, then we moved into my bedroom, at one time there were more than 75 young people in my three rooms.”

What Latiker also soon found is that perhaps things aren’t nearly as hopeless as they may have sometimes seemed. “It started with me taking my daughter and some of her friends to the movies, swimming or whatever,” said Latiker, who over the years has gone as far as to sell the family television to generate funds for the program.

“Soon we were meeting in my living room to talk, do homework, just to be safe,” she added. “The kids started talking about how they wanted to be doctors, singers, performers. They didn’t just want to be out there running up and down the streets.”

And the more they sensed how much Diane Latiker cared, how much she believed in them, the more they grew to have confidence in themselves.

“Miss Diane, she changed my life and I love her for that,” said Maurice Gilchrist. Now 15, Gilchrist tells the woeful tale of how he joined a gang at 12-years-old and seemed destined for a life in the streets before he just so happened upon Latiker’s overcrowded home one snowy evening.

“We always we used to jump on people, rob, whatever,” said Gilchrist, who now earns good enough grades to compete in football for his high school team and has dreams of earning a scholarship. “You name it, I would be there. Without this program, I would be locked up, dead or somewhere beat up.

Latiker, who quit her job as a cosmetologist to be on hand for the program full time, beamed as Gilchrist spoke. No matter how many times she’s heard stories like it, she always soon finds her herself dabbing at her eyes.

Learn more about Diane Latiker and the work she does with young people by visiting her HERE.

Source: Blackamericaweb.com. Read the full article on HERE

Saving For The Future. It’s A Mindset. Plain & Simple.

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By Lana Moline

Childhood is the best time to begin saving for the future.  It’s also the easiest because there is never a shortage of investors.  If kids were to save all the birthday money, holiday money and the money they get just because – then that would be a small fortune.  But kids, much like adults, spend it almost as quickly as it comes.  There’s always something that we want, something we’ve had our eye on or that thing that we got to have.  Granted, we are supposed to take care of ourselves.  But we have to remember to save some for a rainy day.

My mother started doing something a long time ago that I’ve come to really appreciate.  She started saving dimes in one of those 5-gallon water jars.  She said many times that she was saving for her grandkids’ tuition and this was even before she had any.  Over the years, I didn’t think much about it and forgot it was even there.  But hurricanes, high gas prices and high prices of everything else brought it back to me.

I love that she did that and I’m thinking about how to take it one step further.  Maybe, we could throw in all the change in our pockets, purses and from purchases for a year at a time without touching it.  Then at the start of following year, dump, sort and count everything that was saved.  Then bring it to a financial institution to invest.  And after all of that – start all over.

One of the most valuable lessons I learned was at a Brokerage Firm where I interned in college.  Since I had access to a team of stockbrokers, I sat down and asked them about setting some financial goals.  After considering my age, they calculated projected cost increases over the next 10 to 20 years and then explained what I needed to be mindful of going forward.  The first thing was to commit to saving at each increase regardless of the amount.  Immediately save a nest egg that would sustain me for several months in case of emergencies and then invest.  I learned how I could work toward several goals such as early retirement or college funds for kids down the line by using earnings from side jobs and hobbies in addition to my salary.

It’s a mindset, plain and simple.  Careful planning + living within your means = securing a financial future.

Lana Moline is a freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her at www.lanamolinespeaks.wordpress.com

Federal Government Awards Nearly $120 Million For Programs That Promote Marriage And Fatherhood!!!

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By Team BLAM

The federal government this week announced a new round of funding — nearly $120 million — for programs across the country that promote marriage or fatherhood, an initiative that began under President Bush and has now been continued by President Obama.

The Administration for Children and Families, (ACF), which is part of the Department of Health and Human Services, announced Monday that it was awarding $119.4 million in grants to 120 organizations — $59.9 million for 60 marriage programs and $59.3 million for 60 fatherhood programs.

There happens to be a lot of controversy around whether this much money, if any, should be invested in programs that teach and encourage skills. There are actually a lot of haters that say that Marriage Education & Fatherhood programs are a waste. We, at BLAM, simply don’t agree. The statistics speak for themselves. Our nation–our community needs to be educated and restored when it comes to learning to build satisfying, strong, healthy marriages and families. So, we are ecstatic!

Among the recipients are religious organizations, state departments of family services and nonprofit groups. The maximum grant was $2.5 million, which several organizations received, and the lowest was $338,000 for Youth and Family Services in El Reno,Okla.

“A strong and stable family is the greatest advantage any child can have,” George Sheldon, HHS acting assistant secretary for children and families, said in a press release. “These grants support programs that promote responsible parenting, encourage healthy relationships and marriage, and help families move toward self-sufficiency and economic stability.”

Hats off to President Obama for continuing funding of these worthy programs and desperately needed programs despite the opposition!