VIDEO: Everyone Doesn’t Support Black History Month? Hmmm…

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By Team BLAM

Say what? All African Americans don’t support Black History Month? Yup, and guess what? Filmmaker Shukree Hassan Tilghman made a film about it. Black History Month originated in 1925 when the second week of February was made Negro History Week since it contained the birthdays of abolitionist Frederick Douglass and President Abraham Lincoln. Hari Sreenivasan from PBS reports on how some African-Americans now oppose the idea of dedicating a special month to black history.

To watch a trailer for Shukree Hassan Tilghman’s film More Than A Month, go to: http://www.itvs.org/films/more-than-a-month

Click here for more info.

What do you think BLAM Fam? Let’s hear your thoughts!

What Happened To Our Movement?

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By Neysa Ellery Taylor

If you follow black media, then you are aware of CNN contributor Roland Martin’s suspension for his tweets during the Superbowl. This post isn’t about that. This post is about a series of tweets that Demetria Lucas, contributor for Essence Magazine, sent this past Thursday.

Here they are:

@abelleinbk “Black folk complain and get an eye roll. Glaad complains and ish gets changed… swiftly. That’s power.”

@belleinbk “And I straight up HATE that after 100+ years, the NAACP doesn’t have the power of GLAAD.”

Well, damn. That says a lot doesn’t it. And let’s be honest, it’s true. But why is it true? That is the part that I have trouble wrapping my head around. Historically, we’ve been able to unite and change the course of history. But what happened? This is my take on the situation:

You can’t bring an 8-track to an MP3 situation. The days of marching have passed. I mean it. They have gone the way of the dinosaur… extinct. Because what does a march accomplish? Nothing. It is a show of force without any real power behind it. If you want to evoke change, organize a economic boycott, a “sit-in” at a council meeting, a shut down the poll event. Things that actually matter and where support is measurable. Utilize facebook and twitter to spread the word. Make sure your public relations team effectively communicates your message and your MEASURABLE goals. Position your ARTICULATE spokesperson in front of the cameras to share your message with the media. Make sure your organization has a free tshirt that shares your message. Sounds simple doesn’t it? But these small changes move your organization from complainers to world changers.

Old school has to stop telling new school that we dropped the ball. Several years ago I attended a community workshop on organizing for change. It was put on by a prestigious African-American organization and I went full of excitement about getting action steps for change. I left the meeting quite angry. Why? Because those in power – who were part of the civil rights movement – keep talking about how the younger generation had dropped the ball. I really don’t see it that way. I see it as we dropped the baton. In a relay race, the baton has to be passed smoothly so that the next runner can take over and run their part of the race. So we may have dropped the baton but we had help. The baton pass was faulty. That doesn’t mean that the race is over, but it does mean that we need to work together to understand the gifts that all generations bring to the table. There is wisdom and history that needs to be gathered from the older members of our community. The younger generation has passion and energy. Gifts of both generations have to be appreciated and utilized for organizations to be effective.

We have to move from reactionary to visionary. Stop being reactionary. Any NFL coach will tell you that the best defense is a strong offense. Plan for the future. We have to change our focus. The presidential election is important, but your council, school board, state legislature is just as important. We can’t rally every 4 years and expect the world to change. We have to think about long-term goals. Do you want better schools? Then attend a PTA meeting, a school board meeting, a state senate education committee meeting. That is where the decisions are being made that effect our children. After legislation has passed is no time to fuss. It’s too late then. We have to stop bills and policies from passing.

You have to know your role in the organization. Everyone can’t be Dr. King. Someone has to work the phone tree, twitter account, create flyers, provide rides to the polls, etc. Everyone can’t be the face of the movement. So move vanity out of the way. Know your role and play it well. Just because you can “stir up the spirit” praying at church doesn’t mean that you should be the spokesperson for the organization. This is a soundbite generation. Concise, articulate language is needed to convey your message. (Trust me on this one. It’s what I do for a day job.)

Take your children along as you change the world. Remember the baton analogy? You have to train the next generations to take up the baton. You have to teach them how to fight for justice. You have to teach them about the government and how to petition the government for change. So take them along with you. Involve them in the process. (As long as it is safe, of course.)

Finally, support the cause – financially. Organizations that have become too top heavy need to trim the fat. You can’t expect the community to support an organization if your CEO is “ballin.'” There will be a disconnect between the public and the organization. Organizations also need to lower their membership fees to bring more people into the fold. Joining an organization should feel inclusive not elitist. But the community needs to do our part as well. We have to skip a hair appointment or a happy hour and spend the money supporting organizations that support us. If you can spend $$$ on the Watch the Throne concert tour, then you can spend $$$ on watching our community change for the better, right?

So those are a few action steps. What are your thoughts? Better yet, what are your steps? Because if we all keep making steps, we will finally get to our destination.

 

Neysa Ellery Taylor is an integral part of the writing team here at Blackloveandmarriage.com. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work at Myriadthatisme.blogspot.com.

How A Mama’s Creativity Brought Her Family Together

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By Lana Moline

We just recently moved into a new house. As to be expected, everyone was thrilled. Since it was early in the school year, the kids thought it was cool to be in a new grade with a new house. So everyday, they attempted to make their space their own, and surprisingly that lasted for two whole weeks. Soon enough in addition to backpacks that seemed to linger on the couch and the tree full of paper on the dinning room table, clothes and the hangers began to accumulate on top of the unpacked boxes of books and toys in their rooms.

Initially I thought that I’d take it own as a project when they went to school and I would organize it all just like Martha Stewart does. Then a couple things dawned on me. First off, despite the sheer joy it brings me to wash, fold, hang and put away all their clothes, I was going in another direction. I decided to restrain myself. Secondly, I am not Martha Stewart. I am a wife and mother of a 13-year old basketball playing son, an 11-year old daughter who loves to sing and an adorable 6-year old daughter who I’ve watched spend hours playing with legos or drawing. There was absolutely no reason my brilliant team of 3 kids and my handsome husband could not join in.

But, I had to come up with a plan to compete against all the other absolute necessities in their lives like my son chatting obsessively on facebook with his friends and the constant giggling that comes with having two daughters. I just didn’t know what would grab them and then one day as everyone seemed to be hovered over some type of electronic device I created and sent an evite. This is how it read:

 

HOST: Lana Galvez (I gave myself a new last name for effect)

Where: The Moline Residence

When: Sunday, September 4, 2011

 

Welcome to your new home. There is nothing more exciting than adding the personal touch to your own space. As your host, I am immensely honored by the degree of confidence you’ve placed in my abilities. But now, I just want to make sure that I am on the right track. So I invite you to FINISH MOVING IN. Organize and clean your room. Hang up all of your clothes. Discard old clothes, toys and other items that you haven’t touched in year.

 

The hilarious thing with this approach is the immediate responses. My husband who I assure you has an MBA because I went to the graduation myself replied “aint no party like a moving in party cause a moving in party don’t stop!” My two daughters confirmed that they would attend. Yet, my son’s response read “unfortunately, I will be unable to attend.”

The morning of my party, I started breakfast and marched through the house singing my husband’s response and getting everyone out of bed. They didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. As we sat down, I explained that I did not want to stand in their way of learning how to become self-sufficient and that this was just me doing my job. Of course the dancing as I poured the juice was something else but by this time the best of Stevie Wonder was already blasting on the stereo. Half asleep yet entertained, they thought I’d lost my mind.

Eight hours later, when I examined their rooms, I was quite pleased with the results and much to my satisfaction, my son showed up for breakfast. To this day I still refer to him as “my special guest.”

 

Lana Moline is an integral part of the Blackloveandmarriage.com writing team, freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her at Lana Moline Speaks.

Have You Seen The Trailer For Joshua Alafia’s “Let’s Stay Together”? Here it is.

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FILM TRAILER: “Lets Stay Together” is a film on the black experience of family and togetherness. The movie a palette of relationships between black men and the family unit and also uses the sub plot of a the character Parker starting a documentary on why black man aren’t there, to propel the movie forward and clarify the director’s dichotomy of the concepts of Black male abandonment in the family unit. This all comes to a head in the trailer as the Parker seeks to interview Reverend Al Green in reference to a movie prophecy that a new Al Green album could save families. Check out the trailer and leave a comment with your thoughts.

VIDEO: Naval Officer Dad Delivers Wife’s Baby On Highway. What A Surprise!

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By Team BLAM

We love stories about Daddies delivering their babies. It’s so special and it’s a story that the family will always have to share and bond around. This story is a special one. Naval officer, Adam May, came home to surprise his wife for a 2 week stay and instead he got the surprise of his life—his daughter came into the world—in the car! Check out the vid. Congrats May Family!

Are You Giving Back This Holiday Season? Make A Difference. Give A Meal.

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By Team BLAM

This holiday season, nearly 49 million Americans don’t know where their next meal will come from. In many ways, America is the land of plenty. But for 1 in 6 Americans, hunger is an everyday reality that is even harder to bear during the holiday season. Many people believe that the problems associated with hunger are confined to small pockets of society, certain areas of the country, or certain neighborhoods, but the reality is much different. These are often hard-working adults, children and seniors who simply cannot make ends meet and are forced to go without food for several meals, or even days.

We often tell our children that we need to be grateful for our blessings. We make a concerted effort to help them understand that having a roof over our heads, clothes on our back, and food on our table should never be taken for granted. We also try our best to make sure they understand that it is our responsibility to give back and this is one way we are doing it. It can’t get any easier.

More than 200 Feeding America food bank members help provide low-income individuals and families with the fuel to survive and even thrive. As the nation’s leading domestic hunger-relief charity, their network members supply food to more than 37 million Americans each year, including nearly 14 million children and 3 million seniors.

Do your part and GIVE A MEAL TODAY! Only $1 = 8 Meals.

Kwanzaa Is Wack?! Now, You Done Gone & Got Me Mad!

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By Aiyana Ma’at

A few days ago Adisa Banjoko, West Coast Editor of NewsOne, wrote an article on NewsOne.com that pissed me off. I couldn’t believe this dude had the nerve to publish such an irresponsible article. Check the article and my response out and, as always, share your thoughts.

Kwanzaa is wack. The other day I said this on my Facebook page. Actually, what I said was: “Is it wrong of me to say that I love AFRICA, but I think Kwanzaa is wack? #ducksfromthebricks.”

Now, when I said it, I meant it but gave no thought to how it might affect people. I’m kind of bad like that. A ton of people (some Black and some not) got on and said they thought Kwanzaa was wack too. I never thought about it again really. Just a funny little thread.

Then someone got real upset. I felt bad about that, truly. But the reality is that Kwanzaa was created by an FBI informant named Dr. Maulana Karenga. Straight up! That’s an actual fact. Beyond that, stuff like corn that is used in a lot of the rituals is not even native to Africa. A friend of mine noted “it’s truly corny.”

Now hold on. I did participate in a few Kwanzaa events back when ’89 was the number. I always tried to do observe it. But once I did the history on its founder and some of the deeper elements of its hollow cultural base, it was hard to continue on. For those who do, I promise I’m not mad at you. Not that you would care. But you can’t get your kente cloth all in a bunch because I’m not feeling it.

Look, I love Africa and what it means to be Black. I love almost everything African (aside from the tribal fighting and the needless murder and rape of women across the continent). But Kwanzaa is not African. I never knew an African (from any part of the continent) who was like “Yo Adisa, bro you wanna slide thought to the Kwanzaa fest playa?” It has never happened! They don’t get down like that.

Kwanzaa is like a bad weave. People might kinda like it, but we all know it ain’t real. Now, I live on the West coast, in the Bay Area. The only people I see really on some Kwanzaa “ish” are the hardcore revolutionary types you might find at the Berkeley flea market selling incense and shea butter soap (which they might consider using on themselves).

I guess what I’m saying is, I was raised on the works of Dr. John Henrik Clarke, Dr. Ivan VanSertima and Runoko Rashidi. I studied a lot about ancient Kemet, The Moorish Empire, Benin, Timbuktu etc. I love reading about African culture and history any time I can. That’s why I don’t need Kwanzaa. I have knowledge of self and kind.

It appears as though the only other people who might celebrate it are East coast college types who still work on a University campus. But I’m not even sure that’s accurate.

Dr. Maulana Karenga was an informant who hated on Geronimo Pratt and caused a lot of damage to the African American community. How do we know he didn’t “found” Kwanzaa in 1966 as a social experiment on Black people for the FBI? How could such a knowledgeable man just forget that corn is not from his homeland?

Beyond that, is it possible to love Africa and not celebrate Kwanzaa? I know Jews that do not celebrate Chanukah. I know Muslims that don’t celebrate every Ramadan or Eid (some for health reasons, others because they came from places so poor, fasting was a daily occasion). I know Christians that do not celebrate Christmas (because they read Jeremiah 10: 1-25 in the Holy Bible). They still consider themselves lovers of their individual paths though. Can I love my Blackness and still think Kwanzaa is rich in wackness? Is there anything else we can do outside of Kwanzaa to stay more authentically connected to the Motherland? What do you think?

So, when I finished reading I was like Ayize! Can you believe this bullshizzle!!?! I started typing my response and said Eff it. I’m gonna do this on my website because I want to know what ya’ll think. Here’s my thoughts:

Kwanzaa was never said to be AFRICAN. It’s AFRICAN AMERICAN. C’mon now. My question is How is it benefitting you to hate on Kwanzaa a CULTURAL not RELIGIOUS holiday? Never once did you reference the principles that Kwanzaa is based on. Yours is such a superficial critique. I guess UNITY, SELF-DETERMINATION, COLLECTIVE WORK & RESPONSIBILITY, COOPERATIVE ECONOMICS, CREATIVITY, PURPOSE, AND FAITH are WACK huh?

Naw, YOU are WACK for undermining a cultural holiday that is uplifting, positive, and powerful for people of African descent to examine where they’ve been, where they are, and where they’re going. “We all know it ain’t real.” Wowww. I have to wonder who you work for…..FBI maybe???

Now, don’t get me wrong–I know a lot of black folks who celebrate Kwanzaa (and more importantly practice the principles throughout the year) but I also know a whole lot of black folks who don’t officially celebrate Kwanzaa. HOWEVER, THEY GET IT. They understand the value in the principles, consider themselves to be conscious of the VALUES and do their best to live them out  in their day to day lives. And, they definitely would never have the audacity to knock the holiday and the morally and culturally affirming light it can shine in our lives–if you allow it.

Please people:  DON’T BE DELUDED BY WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRACTION.

Mommy, My Life Is Messed Up Because Of You

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VIDEO:  This letter came in and really made an impression. A young 21 year old wrote in about how upset and resentful she feels towards her mother because of some choices her mother has made (financial, credit issues, and otherwise) that have affected this young lady’s ability to go to the college of her dreams. She asks “Do parents really understand that the choices they make and don’t make now will now and forever directly or indirectly impact their children’s lives?” She says she just wishes her mother would have “thought through” her decisions more. Wow. That’s heavy stuff, right? And, it’s definitely hard to hear from your own child.

So, we answered her by VALIDATING her feelings, reflecting to her that she needs to be grateful and give her mother some GRACE, AND ULTIMATELY TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER OWN LIFE AND WHAT SHE WANTS TO SEE IN IT. Listen in and tell us what you think BLAM Fam.

Christmas Craziness! Lots Of Food=Good Time. Not So Much Food=Bad Time. Let’s Get A Grip People!!!

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By Craig Harper

Before I even write this piece, I know that I will ruffle some feathers. I know that this topic will polarize you, the reading audience. I’m okay with that. I’m okay with your opinion, as long as you’re okay with mine. We don’t have to agree with each other, merely listen and consider. Feel free to share your constructive thoughts at the end. I’m happy for you to disagree with me, but I won’t give attention to any comment which is abusive or not constructive. Had a few of those lately. When all else fails, go the insult!

I was on ABC radio here in Melbourne on Saturday discussing how we might enjoy the Christmas cheer without enjoying the traditional Christmas weight gain, and let’s just say that my thoughts weren’t met with universal approval from the listening audience. How dare I suggest that we don’t gorge ourselves on Christmas day. I was unaware that ‘moderation’ was a synonym for misery and deprivation. I was also unaware that we ‘deserve’ to eat ourselves to oblivion and that my thoughts on the matter are unrealistic and impractical. The message I got from some listeners is that there exists a direct correlation between calories consumed and ‘Christmas spirit’. And that there also exists a strong link between how much food is on the Christmas lunch/dinner table and having a good time. Lots of food = good time. Not so much food = bad time.

According to some listeners, I’m an idiot and a dickhead. How dare I suggest that we include some healthier options on our Christmas menu and that maybe we don’t continue eating until we explode. What am I thinking? Apparently, the point of Christmas is food. You know that whole ‘three wise men, the manger, Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus’ thing? Well, turns out that the real meaning of Christmas is to see how much pleasure we can give ourselves via an inordinate amount of calories. Who’da thought?

How could we possibly have festive cheer without the gluttony? It’s what we do. And not doing it, is a form of deprivation. It’s disrespectful. It’s breaking with tradition, and who are we to question our parents and grandparents who paved the way by over-eating before us? We’ve even taken our ‘Christmas cheer’ to a new level. They’d be so proud.

The crazy thing about Christmas is that we actually plan to overeat and we think that’s normal and acceptable. It’s what we do. It’s how we celebrate. And if we don’t indulge ourselves we feel like we’ve ‘missed out’; a little neglected even.

Maybe I’m a freak, but the notion of planning to over-eat on a given day seems kinda stupid to me, especially when I live in a country with one of the fastest growing obesity rates on the planet and more fat (sorry, full-figured, big-boned, voluptuous) people, with more obesity-related medical conditions than ever before. Call me crazy. Call me boring.

Note to self: Craig, don’t describe fat people as fat; it’s offensive, politically incorrect and unprofessional. Not allowed. Calling tall people tall – fine. Skinny people skinny – fine. Funny people funny – fine. Fat people fat… not fine.

I wonder if I can say that I used be to fat? Not full-figured, big-boned or voluptuous… just really fat. A whopper. It’s okay if I’m talking about me, right? Probably not, someone will get grumpy. Okay, we’ll stick with ‘full-figured’, it sounds much nicer. And we love nice. We’re comfortable with that. And we’re addicted to comfort. Reality… not so much. Okay, full-figured it is. Did I ever tell you that I was full-figured teenager? Quite Voluptuous actually. Would have been a great athlete if not for my big bones. Nup, it just doesn’t sound the same.

Isn’t it funny how some of us continue to find a way to get offended, rather than find a way to get healthy? Isn’t it also amusing how people get mad at me for stating an obvious reality (that an individual might be obese, for example) but not mad at themselves for what they have done to their body. Of course I would never walk up to someone and call them fat, but when I am discussing health and all it’s related issues in a professional context, I will speak the truth, and I will call obesity what it is; an over-fat body. While some people may use the term ‘fat’ in a derogatory sense, I don’t. I am using it in a scientific and pragmatic sense. I am referring to a person’s physiological state. Full stop.

While I had my share of supporters (back to the Saturday radio thing now) who thought I was speaking some common sense, there were others who asserted that “people like me are perpetuating eating disorders” and that I was “a self-righteous moron”. One woman told me that I was “dull and boring” and that I was a member of the “fun police” because I suggested that we moderate our food intake on Christmas day. I also had numerous abusive text messages. All in all, a fun time for me.

Okay so here’s exactly what I think about ho, ho, ho-ing into those Christmas calories:

1. Of course it’s okay to enjoy food, look forward to a meal (or ten) and to incorporate some ‘treat’ foods into your Christmas food plan. The occasional splurge is fine, but not when it lasts for two weeks or two months. The biggest eating issue at this time of the year is simply the ridiculous volume of food we consume… and not for one day. We eat because it’s there. Because it’s free. Because it’s at our finger tips. Because we’ve worked hard all year (and therefore we must overeat – go figure) and one of my personal faves… because it’s all paid for! Wouldn’t wanna waste anything would we? Imagine a world where we ate because we actually needed food, rather than wanted it, medicated with it, socialised with it or rewarded ourselves with it. What a concept. Crazy, I know. That’ll never catch on. Needs-based eating… not a chance.

2. It’s not okay to plan to overeat. I know this kind of thinking puts me in the minority, but I don’t care. People can rationalise over-eating with whatever weird-ass, self-serving psychology they like, but the truth is, it’s destructive and bad for our bodies. I am amazed at the ability we (we the society) have to justify stupid behaviour because it simply makes us feel good (for about an hour). One woman said to me recently “but yer gotta live” and when I asked her “so if you don’t over-eat at Christmas, does that mean you’re not living?” She got grumpy. Of course. When there is no logic left for you, reach for the insult or the indignant eye roll and heavy sigh.

3. Some traditions are stupid and destructive. I don’t care how long you’ve been doing it ‘that way’. My great grandparents, my grandparents and my parents all smoked… quite the tradition really.

4. We are pleasure addicts and we associate food with pleasure, therefore more food equals more pleasure. But what happens five minutes after we finish our Christmas lunch binge? We feel physically ill, we feel tired, we regret eating so much and we put our body in a state of stress because our digestive system is working triple-time trying to deal with an extreme over-supply of food. Excess food that our body doesn’t want, but our mind tells us we need to enjoy the ‘Christmas experience’. What a load of crap.

5. I love food. It’s why I was a fat kid. Sorry, voluptuous. Full-figured. And I know that food can be a source of pleasure in a healthy, sensible eating strategy. I look forward to my mother’s Christmas lunch and yes, I will enjoy some ‘Christmas foods’ and some pudding. But no, I won’t eat mountains of it. And no, I won’t feel sick or regretful afterwards. I know that I don’t need to over-eat to have a good day. Actually, I may substitute the pudding for cheesecake.

6. “But surely Craig, you are being a little ‘food police’ on us; it’s only one day?” Good question. I actually don’t care too much about that one day of the year. If it was only about over-eating on one day out of three sixty five, I wouldn’t write this piece and we wouldn’t have a problem, but you know, and I know, it’s not. It’s about the entire Christmas/New Year period. Some of us over-eat for a month. Some of us for a lifetime. It’s the psychology and the mentality behind the Christmas excess (not just that one meal) which is of concern to me. I have worked with many people (over the years) who have gained between 3-5 kgs (6.5-11lbs) over the Christmas/New Year period. They always regret it. Emotionally, mentally and physically, they feel horrible. I worked with a guy a few years ago who gained 10kgs (22lbs) between Christmas day and the end of January – quite the effort. It took him three months to lose.

7. Do not mis-interpret what I am saying. I am not saying don’t eat or don’t enjoy your Christmas meals. I am saying don’t use Christmas as a way to justify gluttony. Eating – fine. Stuffing yourself with an excess of food – not fine.

For me, Christmas is about giving, laughing, relaxing, hanging out with my family, being grateful for what I have and listening to my Dad sing (for want of a better term) all those carols. Again. I really wish he’d get a new CD.


Craig Harper is one of Australia’s most respected professional speakers and educators in the field of human performance. He is a highly sought-after corporate coach and is considered to be a leader in the areas of personal development, having worked with hundreds of teams, companies and organizations on numerous continents over the last twenty years. Visit him at craigharper.com.au.

African American Teen Spanked On Viral Video Found Dead. What Is Going On?!

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VIDEO: A teenager who was a fleeting sensation on YouTube earlier this year after he was videotaped being spanked by his uncle for boasting about gang ties on his Facebook page was found shot to death last week, just steps away from his Terrytown neighborhood home.

According to the New Orleans Times-Picayune, the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office said Michael Taylor, 16, was found shot to death shortly after 8:30 p.m. on Wednesday, Dec. 7 when deputies responded to a report of gunshots in the area.

Taylor had been shot multiple times.

Sgt. Larry Dyess, JPSO spokesman, told the Times-Picayune that authorities had no suspect or motive in the incident.

Taylor’s mother, Kimberly Ward, told the newspaper that she kept strict tabs on her son, even making him stay on the sidewalk in eyesight of their home when he went outside. The night of the shooting, she said, Taylor received a text message from a friend at about 8 p.m. and went outside to chat.

“She said she called him back inside a few minutes later to find out what was going on, and he told her he was just talking and went back outside. A few minutes later, her daughter received a text message saying that Taylor had been shot, and then another saying he was dead,” the newspaper reported.

“Ward said she rushed from the house, driving around the neighborhood looking for her son, but didn’t find him until she was coming back to her apartment complex. That’s when she saw his body on the cold sidewalk, clad in the red sweatshirt she’d noticed when he left the house.

“I came home and saw my son on the ground,” Ward said.

In addition to his mother and sister, Taylor is survived by a brother, grandparents and a host of relatives and friends. His funeral is scheduled for this morning.

In the YouTube video, posted in January, Taylor’s uncle ordered him to disavow any ties to gangs, announced that the family “don’t come from that sh–,” and then proceeded to take off his belt and spank Taylor in full view of the laptop camera.

Rappers Lil Wayne and Birdman spoofed the video, as did another video site called StuntKidzTV.

The original video sparked tons of reaction, from people who applauded the uncle’s actions, calling it an overdue return to old-school parenting and discipline, to those who speculated the public flogging might drive the teenager deeper into a gang’s circle because the youth had been humiliated.

“I am not surprised to hear that this young man’s life has ended violently. When I saw the video, I kept thinking that by beating this youth, the uncle was setting him up for some kind of tragedy, either prison or an early grave,” said Stacey Patton, who in April launched the web site SparetheKids.com to offer black parents alternatives to corporal punishment and the tools to help foster the healthy development of children.

“I don’t understand why more people don’t make the connection between how children are dealt with at home and the larger societal impact,” Patton said. “Studies show that maltreated youth make up a disproportionate number of youth involved in school and gang violence. Violent parental discipline increases the risk that a child will act violently later in life. The use of violent discipline teaches children that violence is an appropriate means of shaping behavior and solving problems. Physically disciplining a child has no positive impact for the child, that child’s relationship with the parents, or the larger community.”

Ward told the Times-Picayune that her son was mild-mannered, but had begun hanging out with tough guys, telling her that he did it for protection …..

BLAM Fam: Weigh in on this. Do you think that violence begets more violence in some shape, form, or fashion even when the act (i.e., spanking) comes from a seemingly well intended place? One of the persons interviewed in this article said “”I am not surprised to hear that this young man’s life has ended violently.” I don’t understand why more people don’t make the connection between how children are dealt with at home and the larger societal impact”. What do you think?

Read the full article HERE.