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50th Anniversary Of The March On Washington: Why It’s Important To YOUR Family

By Aiyana Ma’at

50 years ago on this very day people from all over the United States of America came to my hometown of Washington DC to make a difference—to be heard, to make a statement, to do something different. The impact of that march was immeasurable and that day was a game changer in the Civil Rights movement in this country. Some folks mistakenly believe that those days are long gone and that we as human beings all sit in a serene and completely equal place in this country. I mean, we’ve come so far. I tell my children all the time that there is absolutely NOTHING that they cannot do.

But, what I also know is that persons of color as well as other oppressed groups in this country still have to pause and deliberately think about how we do things, what it will look like to certain folks, where it will take us and not take us, and if it’s really worth it. And, some may think–“Well, don’t all people have to do that?”

Not in the same way and with the same double consciousness that people of color have to. Anytime you can walk down a street with a hoodie on, an iced tea, and some skittles and be perceived as a threat—–there is an entirely different kind of deliberation that must take place for black folks. It’s because of this and so man other reasons that this March is so important to me and my family and we hope that you will pause today and think about it’s impact on you and yours. Even if you are unable to make it to the March today you can still take time out today or this evening to talk about it with your loved ones and even participate in a ritual in your home where you each make a commitment to continue to stand for justice wherever and whenever you can. Here are 5 reasons why the 50th Anniversary of the March on Washington is essential for you and yours.

If you rarely ever take a look back at where this country has come from so that you can truly appreciate how far we’ve come you will struggle to make strides towards a clear and correct future for yourself and your family. Have you ever heard the saying: Go back and fetch it”? This is the meaning of the Adinkra Symbol Sankofa. It means you must be in consistent harmony and pursuit of your past in order to successfully pursue and build your future.

Here a re a few of our pics from Saturday’s March! Keep Building Family!!!!!!!!!!! If you will be navigating the March today here is a link to detailed info: 50th Anniversary of The March On Washington.

Snoop Dogg… I mean Snoop Lion & His Family Release New Video!

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Snoop Dogg…. I mean Snoop Lion is back with a new music video for the fifth single off his latest album, Reincarnated. In the continuation of his recent Overtsock.com commercial, “The Good Good” video features the whole Broadus family — Shante, Cori B, Corde, and Cordell ….. We’re loving how Snoop is representing with his family. Sends a powerful message. Check out the vid below and let us know what you think.

Rituals Have A Lasting Impact On You And Your Family

/in Ask The Maat's Real Questions...Real Answers, Black Family, Parenting/by

It’s amazing what can happen when you plant a seed of positivity and water it. In this video we asked our son a simple question, “Where is God?” and we were pleasantly surprised by the answer we received. His answer was indicative of the work and perspective we give to all of our children. His answer served as a glaring reminder that there is power in affirmation, positivity, intention, and ritual. Check out the video and let us know what you think.

What Legacy Are You Building For YOUR Family?

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Video: Recently we answered the question of a viewer who felt that her parents failed to provide for her and that their decisions are presently impacting her in her adult life. While many people responded to her question by basically saying “get over it”, there was one thing that stood out to us that we’re choosing to focus on in this video. As parents we need to B Intentional about building a legacy for our children.

Don’t Let Your Teen Destroy Your Marriage

/in Black Family, Parenting/by

By Suzanne Phillips, Psy. D,

Whereas most people are warned that the blessed event of a new baby may challenge the romance in their marriage – not enough warning is given to parents of teens. Lulled by the relative calm of the school age years, they find themselves suddenly embroiled in the challenging journey of adolescence which extends anywhere from age 12 to 18 years.

Notwithstanding the love parents have for their kids and for each other, most parents will agree that the teen years can stress even the strongest of marriages. Why?

A close look suggests that the very developmental tasks that teens need to negotiate under the broad heading of “ Identity vs. Role Confusion” call into question the stability, predictability, authority, intelligence, sleep and even sexual patterns of parents.

A Saturday night spent nervously waiting up for your teen, while blaming each other for being too lax or too rigid rarely sets the mood for romance!

That said, it is important to consider that raising a teen does not have to equate to ruining a marriage. In fact, it is the last thing you want and the very last thing they need!

Three Guiding Principles:

There are three Guiding Principles that may help you and your teen on this journey: Balance, Communication and Connection.

What makes them effective is that they not only help adolescents deal with the developmental tasks that transition them to adulthood; they are the same principles that help partners strengthen their own relationships.

Balance

Teens Struggle with Balance

Basic to the challenges and chaos of adolescence—most teens have trouble with balancing everything from emotions, to friends, to school assignments.

Issues are presented in life or death terms.
People are loved or hated within a short span of time.
Actions are rarely considered in terms of consequences
Independence is professed while dependency demanded.
The world revolves around their lives.
Ever changing versions of how they look, what they believe, what they eat, and what they need leave little room for negotiation.

Parents Can Strike a Balance

Given history, gender, and personality, it is not unusual for parents to become seduced by their teens or polarized into extreme positions.

Why can’t I drive with my friends to Florida—Dad trusts my driving!

It may actually be an advantage that you see things differently if you can use different perspectives as points of information to help strike a balance.

Rather than going along with something you think is dangerous, or putting your partner down to align with the teen, try being authentic and respectful of each other’s opinion. Clarify the situation from both of your perspectives and from your teen’s point of view rather than fight over the solutions. It sets the stage for collaborative problem solving and often finding a middle ground.

“ You are right Dad thinks you are a good driver. Let’s talk more about Spring Break and what you were thinking.”

Mutual Feedback Prevents Over-Parenting

An important but difficult balance for parents is the ability, as psychologist Brooke Feeney suggests, to restrain the need to help until the teen needs it–to support rather than substitute for a teen’s efforts.

Why can’t you let your daughter find her own job?”

When parents trust each other to give and take feedback, they can often avoid “ helicopter parenting” which hurts rather than helps. Working together to be more effective not only enhances your view of each other; it enhances the competence of your teen.

“ Mom and I are both eager to help, but we really want to know what you have in mind.”

Their Life vs. Your Life

Some parents are so enthralled with their teen and his/her activities, friends, and achievements, they abandon a personal interest in self and their relationship to become the 24/7-support team and audience to their child.
Some parents are so worried by the problems their teen seems to have–be it academic, social, emotional—that they abdicate their role as partner to be the vigilant parent.
When love, support or even concern for a teen bankrupt a marriage, everyone loses. The parents lose their bond and its potential for support and refueling and the teen loses the model of a vital adult relationship.
Given that the challenges of adolescence often are underscored by a teen’s narcissistic notion that the world revolves around them, it is to their advantage to realize that you have a life, needs and a relationship apart from them.

Communication

The Language of Teens

Anyone who has parented teens knows that communication can get challenging.
If you have raised girls you know that most issues are wrapped up and vocalized as high drama. Asking someone to get off the phone to help with dinner can invite hysteria much less avoidance of the request.
If you have raised boys then you are more accustomed to feeling like you are living with CIA agents. If you ask too much or they reveal too much—they may have to kill you.
Add the communication of social media in cell phones, emails, texting, etc. and gender differences are eclipsed. The only thing that matters is constant communication—with peers.

The Language of Parents

In face of this, some parents never stop talking to their teen and others shut down. Reflecting their stress, the parents’ communication with each other often becomes colored by criticism of each other.

“ No wonder he doesn’t listen – you never stop yelling at him.”

“ So she lied again and you still saying nothing to her?”

Parents can benefit from recognizing that criticizing each other can disqualify both in the eyes of a teen.
As strange as it may seen, it is better for a teen to hear parents say that they need his/her help to really speak about the issue. It brings the parents into the same place, even if they have different styles and opinions, and sends the teen the message that they all need to communicate.

Parent and teen collaboration on how to balance social mediais invaluable. Despite resistance, if parents hang in, model and create a family plan like shutting phones off during a shared meal; charging all phones during the middle of the night; telling teens that they can blame the parents when friends ask why they didn’t respond at 3Am-they will find that many teens are actually relieved.

Another important communication dynamic for parents with teens and with each other is positive communication. There are some teens and partners who never stop hearing what they are doing wrong. There is no motivation to listen if listening equates to a negative view of self.

It is valuable to communicate as “ people” not just as worried parents to each other and to your teen. Teens should hear about your lives and even be asked for their advice or opinion. They should observe their parents enjoying a conversation together about something other than them!!!

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Thank You For Your Prayers…Surgery Was Successful!

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What’s up Fam,

Thanks for all of your prayers. The surgery was successful and Asante is doing well. He’s on pain meds (epidural) right now which will be gradually reduced over the next couple of days. Today was his first day of physical training which consisted of getting out of the bed : ) Thanks again for all of your prayers and well wishes..we will definitely need them over the next 4-6 months.

Are YOU Causing ADHD In Your Child?

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By Felicia Vance

Preschoolers whose parents report depression and intimate partner violence may be more likely to develop attention deficit disorder/attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD or ADHD) by the age of 6, new research suggests.

And young children with depressed moms may be more likely to receive prescription drugs to treat behavioral and mental health issues down the road.

“Our study indicates that preschoolers who are diagnosed with ADHD are more likely to have been exposed to both intimate partner violence and parental depression within the first three years of life than their peers not exposed to either risk factor,” said study author Dr. Nerissa Bauer, an assistant professor of pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine, in Indianapolis.

“There has been increasing awareness that certain psychosocial risk factors can impact the behavioral presentation of children at very young ages,” she said. Still, not all children who are exposed to maternal depression and intimate partner violence will develop ADHD, she noted.

“There are other factors that can be associated with a child’s higher likelihood of being diagnosed with ADHD, including a family history of ADHD,” Bauer explained.

ADHD symptoms can include impulsiveness, hyperactivity and difficulty focusing. Kids with ADHD may have difficulty in school, holding down jobs and sustaining relationships. They are also at greater risk for alcohol or substance abuse, depression and anxiety disorders. Treatment typically involves medication and behavioral modifications.

CLICK HERE to read more.

Ready To Grow Your Family? Check Out These 6 Essential Tips.

/in Black Family, Fatherhood, motherhood, Parenting/by

By Susan F Taylor

There are many reasons why a woman cannot conceive a baby. If you are one of these women, who are experiencing difficulty with getting pregnant stop what you’re doing and read on to get tips to improve your chances of conceiving a baby. You likely have heard of some of these, but the question is are you doing these things?

1) You have to consult first an obstetrician for you to be diagnosed. Your doctor could conduct series of tests to know if you have hormonal imbalances.

2) Engage yourself to physical activities or exercise routines everyday for at least 30 minutes. Try different sports such as playing tennis, swimming, badminton, or volleyball. Or you can do simple exercises such as walking your dog, jogging or biking.

3) You should consider your sexual positions during sex. The advisable positions are dog style and missionary positions. During intercourse, do not shift to different positions especially sitting to standing positions. After intercourse, you have to raise your hips by putting a pillow under your bottom to help the sperm swim near your cervix.

4) Do not stress yourself if you cannot conceive. Do it naturally and with love. Remember that a child is a product of your love with your partner.

5) Another tip for improving your odds of getting pregnant is to know your ovulation period. Timing is very critical in conceiving. Knowing your ovulation period will give you the best time to have intercourse with your partner.

6) Eating healthy and nutritious foods will help improve your chances of conceiving a baby. You have to include in your balanced diet the following: milk, orange, poultry, beans, nuts, green leafy vegetables and lean meats. Avoid in your daily meal trans fat food such as potato chips, cookies, French fries and doughnuts.

Goals Without Plans Are Just Dreams…Check Out These Goal Setting Questions For 2013

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By Tsh

It’s already mid-January, so many of you probably have already made some goals.

But I still want to share my list of questions that I use when making annual goals. These are questions you can use privately, as you journal, or with your spouse over a cup of tea (and perhaps a white board).

You don’t need to go through all of them, of course. I don’t. Last week, my husband and I picked about five, and we just chatted. It was a great, mid-afternoon date.

I need to continually remind myself that goals are all about making myself more available, not making myself perfect. Don’t throw in the towel when you screw up once…. because you will screw up. Dust yourself off, and keep on going.

I’m excited about this year. Are you?

I. Personal Growth

1. What healthy character traits would you like to see developed in your life this year? What are some specific steps you can take to develop these?

2. What is your plan for maintaining accountability for progressing in personal growth?

3. What are some of your learning goals for this year?

4. What books would you like to read this year?

5. Do you enjoy your job or jobs (include being a stay-at-home parent, if this pertains to you)? If so, what are your favorite things about your work? If not, what are some ways you can change this?

II. Physical Health

1. What is one area of progress you’d like to see this year for maintaining or improving your physical health?

2. What are some tangible, daily choices you can add to your life that will improve your health?

3. In what way would you like to be physically healthier by December of this year?

4. What is your plan this month for starting this progress towards a healthier you?

III. Marriage & Family Life

If you’re married, proceed to question 1. If you’re single with children, you can skip to question 5.

1. What are some goals you have as a couple to strengthen your marriage?

2. In what ways can you grow in intimacy with your spouse this year?

3. What are your plans for having regular date nights? How will you handle childcare?

4. What plans will you make to pray and/or have “family meetings” together? What books would you like to read together this year?

5. What will deliberate, regular family time look like this year?

6. Do you have specific planned vacation time in mind for this year? What needs to happen to make this vacation a reality?

7. How is your current physical living space working for your family? Do you need to make changes to this? If so, what are they?

IV. Goals for Your Children

1. What are ways you’d like each of your children to grow in the following areas?

a. Physically:

b. Emotionally:

c. Relationally:

d. Spiritually:

e. Educationally:

f. Other:

2. How will your children be educated this year? What are some resources you’d like to explore to help your children develop intellectually and academically?

3. What are your children’s strengths? How will you help them use these well?

4. What are your children’s weaknesses? How will you help them overcome these?

V. Money Matters

1. What is one specific area of progress you’d like to see this year in your financial health?

2. How is your current income? In what ways can you make this increase?

3. How much debt do you have? In what ways can you eliminate a sizeable portion of it (or all of it) this year?

4. How is your savings account? In what ways can you save more money this year?

5. What are some of your long-term financial goals? In what ways can you make progress on them this year?

6. Are you giving regularly? If not, in what way can you give financially this year?

7. What is your plan this month for starting progress towards better financial health?

VI. Relationships Outside the Home

1. In what specific way would you like to grow in relating to your friends this year?

2. What are some ways you can be of service to your immediate community?

3. Who are some specific people in your life that can use some encouragement? What will you do to encourage them this year?

4. Who are some people in your life that you admire? What are some practical ways you can positively use their influence in your life?

5. Are there any damaging relationships in your life? What will you do this year to make these relationships better?

BLAM Fam, Remember you get more of what you focus on. Let’s be more intentional in 2013!!!

Tsh is the founder of Simple Living Media. She’s a mama to three little ones, likes her coffee black, and thinks a library card, a Netflix subscription, and a passport are some of the greatest parenting tools in the universe.

Bill Cosby And Tempestt Bledsoe Share Some Memorable Cosby Show Moments

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Tv’s favorite Dad (Bill Cosby) and Tempestt Bledsoe recently reunited on the Jimmy Fallon show. Bill Cosby, who was promoting his new book “I Didn’t Ask To Be Born”, was funny as usual as he and Tempestt reminisced on some memorable Cosby Show moments. Bledsoe, who played Vanessa Huxtable on the “The Cosby Show,” was promoting her new show “Guys With Kids.”