Meet Featured Future Wife Jaiya Keys!

By Audrey Dawson

All of us are in different stages of our “future” and it’s good to see other ladies who are on the journey as well. I believe the features will encourage and inspire us to remain the set apart ladies that we are and who God created us to be for our future husbands.

Today’s Future Wife feature: Her joy is infectious. Her confidence is such that it makes you ask the question, “Where does it come from?” because inside you want whatever it is she has. She is living a bold, uncompromised walk, with her eyes fixed on her King, believing that one day she will be blessed with a king.

Meet Jaiya.

Name Jaiya Keys

Age: 31

Hometown: Orlando Florida

Occupation: Creative Director/Owner of Minister2Me Christian Apparel

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Anything dealing with the Arts: Painting, Writing, Music, Dance etc.. Those things bring me joy and allow some sense of spiritual release and mental relaxation.

What is your favorite scripture?

There are so many!!! If I had to choose one I would say all of Deuteronomy 7 goes pretty hard. I love it! It’s a scripture of promise and confirmation. To me it feels like a signed contract from God that I am his CHOSEN vessel and it list my reward, duties, and benefits for choosing a more abundant life with Christ. It’s all in there and it gets me excited! The first time that I read it I said “God you mean to tell me that I get ALL of this for believing in you? SIGN ME UP!”

What does the term “future wife” mean to you?

The term future wife means to me Preparation, Purpose and Positioning. The word “Wife” sounds like an assignment from God. I have learned that understanding the true meaning of words is so important in life so I find myself going to the dictionary for everything. The dictionary defines the word “Wife” as a woman joined in marriage to a husband, very simple right? Once I understood the term I went to God’s word to find out how God expects me to carry myself as a wife in Proverbs 31:10-31.

How are you allowing God to prepare you to become a wife?

PATIENCE!!! God has given woman a “How to be a wife guide”in Proverbs 31:10-31 It can’t get any easier then that. All we have to do is follow his instructions. I believe that God is preparing me to become a wife by surrounding me with knowledge, understanding, and hypothetical situations that relate to marriage. Knowledge from books and individuals that are successfully married. Understanding of my purpose in my Kings life as a true “help mate” and not a “harass mate”. Someone who is soft, gentle, fun loving, wise, forgiving and represents herself as a lady of style and grace at all times. Lastly, hypothetical situations with men that mentally stretch me and force me to become a better woman.

You are very confident. Where does it come from?

Thank you Audrey! My confidence really comes from my relationship with Christ. Scriptures like 1 John 4:4 Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world. Romans 8:37 “I am more than a Conqueror through Jesus Christ” and Luke 1:37 “Nothing is impossible with God.” Those scriptures give me so much energy to go out everyday of my life and make the impossible possible!

How important is it for a single woman to know her self worth before she gets married?

It is VERY critical that single woman know their self worth prior to marriage and that they are secure with the woman that God has chosen them to be. God’s word says in Proverbs 31 that as a woman I am “worth more than Rubies and that my husband shall be fully confident in me and see my value and worth.” How can my future King see my value or my worth if I don’t know what it is myself? How can he be confident that I can manage the lives of others i.e. a family if I am not managing my own personal life properly?

What are the benefits of a single woman having godly, male friends?

Godly male friends are like the icing on my cake of life as a woman! Too much Venus (woman) can never be a good thing. There needs to be balance in life. As a single woman I call my balance my B.I.C.’s aka my Brothers in Christ. The best way to understand a male point of view is to hear it from a man, not your mother and not your female friends. They are like angels on assignment from God to protect me from emotional, physical, and spiritual damage. They protect me from evil intentions and wasting my time with nonsense. My B.I.C.’s have always been selfless men that have my best interest at hand. I’ve known them for years and those guys keep me covered in Christ.

How does your relationship with God help you to wait on the man he has chosen for you?

This question kind of ties in with the confidence question and knowing your self worth. I’m patiently waiting because God promised me that my husband was going to be the BOMB! I won’t settle for anything less than Fireworks and Butterflies! I have to be transparent with you though, I am a very fearless woman but my #1 fear use to be that I would become so buried in Christ that my King would not seek God first before coming to me. I need to be specific when I say “seek God first” because some may think that interprets into the man needing to be Saved or a Christian when it doesn’t mean that at all. In order for my King to find me he has to seek God first so that God can remove any previous attachments or addictions to sex, drugs, anger, pain from previous relationships etc… If he still has that baggage he’s not ready to be my King, the yoke is not equal.

Name 3 characteristics that you would look for in your future husband.

Only 3? That’s tough. Hopefully a relationship with Christ is necessary but can go un listed here.


2)Great sense of humor


Some single women think that waiting on God for their husbands means doing nothing but that–wait. You lead a very fulfilling life. What advice would you give to a single woman who is “doing nothing” but waiting on her husband?

As Arsenio Hall would say LET’S GET BUSY!!! Ladies get busy! Create a business, travel the world, enjoy life and establish yourself as a single woman. 1Cor7:32-35 says (the Message) I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.I’ve completed college, I’ve worked my career and now I have stepped into my calling as a business owner of one of God’s Kingdom businesses Minister2Me Christian Apparel

Audrey Dawson is an integral part of the writing team and the owner of Chronicles of a Future Wife, a Christian-based blog that often does features spotlighting single, Christian women and weddings. She is currently taking a break from her blog and will be contributing fabulous features of beautiful engaged and married couples who are defying the odds and rebuilding our community one commitment at a time.

Doing BIG Things In The Name Of Love! Announces Star Writing Team In 2012!

By Team BLAM

Okay, we are soooo excited and we’re excited…and did I say we are hype up in here!!!? We have been building and talking behind the scenes for quite some time now. BLAM has been growing by leaps and bounds with more and more people visiting our site every single month. We knew it was time to expand our team in a very concrete and official way and the movement that is was provided with exactly what was needed in the form of 6 fierce writers who will stop at nothing to get you to Stop Playing & Start Pushing!

At we value REAL LOVE, REAL TALK, & REAL GROWTH AND CHANGE! Every single one of us holds these values close to our heart and take what we do here at BLAM seriously. We are thrilled to have such gifted and prolific writers on our team. Trust us-they are on a mission.

So, what is the writing team’s mission?

Simple. To help people increase their self-awareness and overcome life’s obstacles by challenging us to look within, tell the truth and commit to change.

Through each of us doing our part, we will transform the image and quality of relationships in the African-American community and the nation one commitment at a time!


Meet Featured Future Wife: Shenina Brown!

By Audrey Dawson

God has sent some amazing people my way to feature and today’s Featured Future Wife is no exception. She has a light that shines brightly, a constant joy, and (one of her attributes that stuck out to me) a very positive outlook on her single life and how she’s waiting on her future husband. I attribute all of these characteristics to the Christ that lives on the inside of her. I’ll let you see for yourself.

Meet Shenina.

Name: Shenina Brown

Age: 26

Occupation: DESIRE MORE Naturals, LLC (founder/owner/operator)

Hometown: Greenville, MS

Church: New Direction Christian Church

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Besides going to church and worshipping God with other believers, I absolutely LOVE to encourage, motivate, and empower everyone…from the oldest man at the corner store to the youngest little girl in elementary school. I am a very big ENCOURAGER and want everyone to know just how powerful and strong they really are! I also love to dine in at various restaurants, shop, give advice, sing, act silly, laugh, watch reality t.v shows, spend quality time with family, travel, creatively work with my hands making programs, brochures, flyers, inviations, etc., and MUCH more!

What is your favorite scripture?

Hmmm, only ONE?? Lol! If I had to choose just one, it would be ROMANS 8:28- “FOR GOD CAUSES ALL THINGS TO WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THEM WHO LOVE GOD AND ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE FOR THEM.” The reason why I pick this scripture as my favorite is because it sums up my walk with God completely! Though I sometimes get criticized and talked about for trying to live a life that is pleasing to God, and though I sometimes struggle with thinking if the things I do and choices I make concerning God are within his will, I can ALWAYS refer back to this scripture and rest assured that EVERYTHING done for uplifting the Kindgdom of God will be all worth it in the end!

What does the term future wife mean to you?

Uh oh now! Lol! FUTURE WIFE to me is simply a lady who has a DESIRE and the ANNOINTING to be who God wants her to be for a man, who in turn also wants to be joined together by God with her forever. A future wife is one that is yet preparing herself to be who God desires her to be through prayer, meditation, education, and obedience. It doesn’t mean “perfection”, but it does mean “preparation” to be the woman God has ordained you(me) to be for your(my) husband. She is truly a Proverbs 31 woman and then some with a bag of chips and soda on the side! Oh yeah, throw in a Ring Pop too! LOL!

How would you best describe where you are in your single walk right now?

Right now, I am at a place of contentment. I’m content knowing that God has my front, back, and sides! He has heard my prayers & knows exactly what it is that I want, so this gives me the assurance and strength to continue waiting. It’s a difference when you just “wait” as opposed to “waiting” PATIENTLY, which is what I’m doing now. I DESIRE to become a wife and mother one day, therefore, to be granted that desire, I will continue to wait no matter how long it takes until God sees fit for my husband and I to find eachother. Right now, I’m focusing on getting “self” together as well so that I can be the woman my husband has been praying and seeking God’s face for!!! I also surround myself around positive people and activities to take my mind off of being “single”. I’m still a work in progress, but in due time, all shall be WELL worth the wait!

It’s good that you recognize a key component in waiting for your husband–patience. How do you think “jumping the gun” and not waiting on God could affect the destiny you have with your future husband?

With all due respect, “jumping the gun”, in my opinion, is a big no-no! I know first hand how it feels to be sometimes lonely and anxious, especially during this single walk. That’s why it’s even more important for us to remain in tune with God and what he’s trying to tell & show us! Because some ladies feel vulnerable and are so ready to get married, they tend to do so prematurely only with divorce being the end result before the 5 year anniversary. It’s funny that you ask this question because one day while sitting in my girlfriend’s living room, we were talking about relationships. God clearly spoke to me and said: THOUGH NO ONE IS PERFECT BUT ME, IF YOU CHOOSE TO WAIT PATIENTLY, I WILL SEND YOU THE CLOSEST THING (MAN) TO PERFECTION! I was absolutely blown away, and that has stuck with me ever since. When we jump the gun, we as ladies, sometimes find ourselves in abusive relationships, victims of adultery, and even sometimes suicidal because of everything that is going on. We then blame it on God because we don’t understand why he allowed all of this to go on. He certainly doesn’t “like” to see us go through difficult times, but because we decided to do what “we” wanted to do instead of waiting upon and consulting with God FIRST before talking to Pookie, lol, we would have known that he wasn’t for us to begin with and could have avoided alot of heartache and pain! But when you WAIT on God to send not just a husband, but YOUR husband, he will make sure that he is all you ever need and then some! What God has for ME, it is for ME…and what God has for YOU, it is for YOU!- Believe that and continue to wait PATIENTLY on the husband that God has for you!

I love to see single women of God being productive and not just waiting, doing nothing. What are some of the things you’ve accomplished in your personal life?

Lol, I definitely agree! Some of the things I’ve accomplished in my personal life are graduating from undergraduate and graduate school (at which I now hold a Bachelor of Science degree in Biology and a Masters in Health Services Administration), and stepping out on faith by opening my own business, DESIRE MORE Naturals. I consider what I’ve done recently (within the last 5 years) to be the big things I’ve accomplished. Though the aforementioned things are great, nothing compares to getting to know Christ better, which I consider the BIGGEST accomplishment of all! Instead of waiting around doing nothing, I try my best to occupy my time encouraging, motivating, and empowering all people from all walks of life. I am also trying to become more actively involved in my community and volunteer projects to help give back. For it’s not just about me, but it’s all about uplifting & building the Kingdom of God!

You are a great encourager. What would you say to a single woman who may not appreciate this single season in her life? How could she achieve contentment?

Oooo weee, what a great question! Lol! I would tell a single woman to enjoy this season she is going through because it will only come once. Though having a husband will be nice, he should not complete you. It is important to be whole BEFORE you connect with your husband. When he comes along, he’s going to demand most of your attention and time, and by you being his wife, you are obligated to give it to him. While we still have time, we must continue to focus on God and be obedient to him. I would also tell a single lady that she could achieve contentment with getting to know who “she” is all over again, becoming involved in things she believes in, and finding out things about herself that she doesn’t like and then fixing them. It is vital that she learn to love “self” and live successfully single first. Take yourself out on a date, to the movies, or a nice restaurant BEFORE he does, that way you’ll be content in knowing that before “he” did, “you” did! Remember that in each season we go through, God speaks to us and there is something he needs us to learn. Don’t miss what he is telling you because you are “anxious”. The day and time are coming when God will unite you with your husband. Until then, enjoy being by yourself, do things to better self, and continue to not just wait, but PATIENTLY wait for YOUR husband!

Audrey Dawson is the owner of Chronicles of a Future Wife, a Christian-based blog that often does features spotlighting single, Christian women and weddings. She is currently taking a break from her blog and will be contributing fabulous features of beautiful engaged and married couples who are defying the odds and rebuilding our community one commitment at a time.

Meet Fabulous Featured Wife Tangie Henry!

By Audrey Dawson

One of the things I don’t want to do is go into marriage blindly. God recently opened my eyes to a “blindspot” I had concerning marriage: the reality of adjusting to living with my future husband after marriage. You could say I had a “real deal” moment.

Today, marriage advocate and life coach, *Tangie Henry is going to shed some light on the reality of living together after marriage, blending two lives, and how she and her husband turned their house into a home. Her insight helped me and I know it will be very helpful to you.

How did you make your house a home? For example, what is it about your home that says, “This is the Henry’s home”?

Making your house a “home” is a process of a lot of “trial and error.” Oftentimes, couples enter into their marriage with pre-conceived expectations about how their household should be managed, i.e. who does the laundry or who pays the bills, etc. But the best way to have a successful “flow” in your house is to figure out what works best for your house: Not your mama and daddy’s house. For example, both my husband and I lead very busy lives so what makes our house a home is “teamwork” and “understanding.” We both try to accommodate each other so that both of our needs are met collectively and individually.

What adjustments did you have to make to blend your lives together?

We had to adjust our expectations. My husband came from a very traditional background, whereas, I did not. In the beginning of our marriages, I worked hard to fit the traditional mold, but it was very difficult for me and it made me resentful. We had to have a conversation and I had to express to him my true feelings and ask that he love me anyway. As we grew together and began to mature, we developed a groove that works for us. Communication is the key. Without it, your marriage will rot from the inside out. Real talk!

In the beginning, is there something your spouse did that got on your nerves?

Of course! That’s a given. Everybody gets on someone’s nerves at some point. LOL! If it really bothered me and I felt like I couldn’t ignore it, I would bring it up. Most times, however, it wasn’t a deal-breaker and I learned that the reason it got on my nerves was more about me than him. Once I examined myself, the less his behavior bothered me.

What things did you have to compromise on?

The biggest thing that I’ve had to compromise on is the sacrificing of my personal time. A lot of unmarried people, women in particular, think that once they’re married, they’re going to want to be up under their spouses 24-7 and the two of them will do everything together, and so on and so forth. While I think it’s important that the two of you make each other a priority and “date” each other, I think it’s equally important that you have time to cultivate separate activities so that when you do come together, it makes the union more interesting. I’m the kind of person who likes to do what I want to do when I want to do it. LOL! Needless to say that doesn’t work in life and definitely not in marriage. Being married is a continuous exercise in dying to your own selfish ways. So, I’m still learning. (smile)

*What advice would you give to a new couple getting adjusted to living together after marriage, for example, how to approach conflict resolution?

I would recommend that couples be honest about their feelings to one another, not their “Girls,” “The fellas,” or their “Mama.” However, it should be done in the spirit of love. And the other person receiving the information should not take it offensively, but try to understand their spouse’s point of view. All conflict in marriage is not bad. If done constructively, it can lead to a more fulfilled relationship. It takes a lot of work to blend your habits, lifestyle, preferences and idiosyncrasies with another person. Having honest conversations with soften the blow, so to speak.

More advice:

Prior to marriage, allow the natural course of your relationship to unfold. Sometimes we get so focused on attaining the “brass ring” that we skip steps along the way. Putting time on your relationship allows you to go through seasons with the other person and see if they are really someone that you’d like to make a covenant with. I also recommend intensive pre-marital counseling from a qualified third party. Pre-marital counseling will expose areas that you may not have thought to explore. The truth of the matter is that there’s no sure-fire guarantee in any relationship, but you can position yourself so that you can achieve great success in your union.

Audrey Dawson is the owner of Chronicles of a Future Wife, a Christian-based blog that often does features spotlighting single, Christian women and weddings. She is currently taking a break from her blog and will be contributing fabulous features of beautiful engaged and married couples who are defying the odds and rebuilding our community one commitment at a time.

Meet Fabulous Featured Husband Donnie Smith!

By Audrey Dawson

After I decided that I would start doing spotlights from a male perspective, Donnie was one of the first people I thought of. The one thing that stuck out to me about Donnie is that he had his act together before pursuing Michelle and he actually courted her — something that I think is very important from a man who is showing interest in the woman he would like to marry. Today we see a love story from a male’s point of view.

Meet Donnie.

Name: Donnie Smith

Age: 28

Wedding Date: November 5th

Wedsite: Donnie Loves Michelle

How did you propose to Michelle?

I really had to plan ahead to propose to Michelle. I wanted to have her friends and family there to catch the moment. One day in the beginning of our relationship I over heard her saying she wished her close friends and family could share her engagement moment with her. I wanted it to be a surprise. Michelle is a very nosey person so I felt that I had to trick all of her friends and family into one location. The only way I could do that was on her birthday. I told her closest friends and family that I wanted to throw her a surprise birthday party and I kept the proposal part to myself. I know Michelle wanted to hang out with a lot of friends and family for her birthday. So on her actual birthday I took her to a simple dinner and movie and a gave her a birthday card. I can tell she was sort of disappointed because I didn’t really give her a gift or do anything special like I usually do. She ended up planning her own party. She invited a lot of friends and family to dinner and watch Sex and City 2 that next day. I told her that after the movies I had a surprise for her and told her to pack a bag and I would pick her up from the movies that night. I told her friends that they would need to lie to her. Her friend’s job was to make up a lie about a party going on at the Palomar Hotel. I on the other hand told Michelle that I couldn’t pick her up on time because I left my wallet at home and that she could hang with her friends and I would meet her wherever she was. It was late she was anxious about my surprise trip and upset cause I was late. Everyone was at the hotel waiting on her to arrive in which she walked in and was totally surprised. I waited a few minutes then I gave her a plaque that had a poem on it that rhymed. I told her to read it and when she got to the end I was already on one knee.

Women usually have the dream of getting married very early in life. I think that it’s different for men. At what point in your life did you decide that you wanted to get married/look for a wife? How did you allow God to prepare you for that?

I felt I was at an age where I thought about having a family. I was at the point where I felt like I should be dating for a purpose and not just to have fun. I didn’t want to miss out on any blessings that were put in my face for a reason. God prepared me for a wife by taking me through different events in my life so when Michelle came along I was really able to appreciate every bit of who she is a woman.God has a plan for every man and sometimes you have to just follow your heart and also be realistic and set goals.

What do you think are some important things a man should have in place before seeking a wife?

Before seeking a wife I believe a man has to have prior relationship experience. Women are picky and different in a lot of ways and you must be able to handle that as a man. I believe a man should be financially stable. I also believe that a man should appreciate and love his woman so that he would never cheat. If you value, appreciate,and respect your wife, she will meet your every need.

One of the things I noticed about how you pursued Michelle is that you actually courted her. I believe courtship is one of the things that’s missing in relationships today and something that very few men do. Was courtship something instilled in you or something you learned as you two started dating?

Courtship was instilled in me and I learned as I went through different dates and conversations with women. I believe communication is the biggest part of a relationship. When I met Michelle I was open to any questions and she was also. We talked and talked and learned each others likes and dislikes. So I was able to decide whether I could really deal with Michelle or even accept her as a girlfriend.

How did Michelle’s response to you make a difference in how you’d further pursue her?

Her responses were the most important part to start our relationship. She answered every question perfectly and gave me the chance to see if I wanted to continue to pursue her. I loved all of her answers and she made me want to get to know her even more. I believe many questions should be asked and answered while dating to ensure that people are on the same page. If you are not honest you will only hurt yourself and waste your own time in the long run. I believe people should filter people in order to determine what they can and can’t deal with. This will save people a lot of time.

What advice would you give to a man who has the desire to be married but isn’t sure what steps he needs to take to get there?

I believe a man should know his woman inside and out. The more you understand your woman the easier the relationship will flow. A man should always cater to his woman and sometimes tell his friends, “I will catch up with you later.” I also believe a couple’s goals should somewhat be alike. Never rush into proposing until you get all of the games out of your system. A man should never settler for less. What you put into a relationship is what you will get out of it. Give 100% because giving less will only hurt yourself. Make sure you can offer as much as your woman has to offer so that yall are meeting each other halfway. God and communcation are the key to a successful relationship and marriage.God has a plan for everyone. Guys shouldn’t waste their time trying to psych themselves into marriage.

What are you most looking forward to becoming a husband/getting married?
I am looking forward to building a home and a family and growing old with Michelle. This is something that we both have dreamed about. I am also looking forward to seeing her in a beautiful dress and to see her face light up when she hears me say “I do.”

Audrey Dawson is the owner of Chronicles of a Future Wife, a Christian-based blog that often does features spotlighting single, Christian women and weddings. She is currently taking a break from her blog and will be contributing fabulous features of beautiful engaged and married couples who are defying the odds and rebuilding our community one commitment at a time.

*Some modifications made to meet BLAM  time of release requirements.

Meet Featured Future Wife Angela Oliver!

By Audrey Dawson

I intentionally picked our Featured Future Wife for today because she’s so honest about where she is in her singleness. She’s very aware that there are some things she needs to let God fix before becoming a wife, and makes no excuses about them. Her feature is very honest, real, and encouraging. I’m sure her story will bless you, too.

Meet Angela.

Name: Angela Oliver

Age: 31

Hometown: Atlanta, Ga

Occupation: Recruiter

Church:Word of Faith

What do you like to do in your spare time?

I enjoy reading, spending time with my family and close friends, and traveling (would love to do more)

What is your favorite scripture?

My favorite scripture is I Corinthians 13:4-11. I LOVE First and Second Corinthians.

What does the term future wife mean to you?

It means I will be a wife when God thinks I am ready to be a wife. I have accepted it could be two or twenty years down the line.

One of the reasons I wanted to feature you is because of how honest you are about where you are in your singleness. Can you share a little of where you are in your singleness right now?

Well I am single and happy. This is the first time I have been single in about eight or nine years. I am what you call a serial monogamist. My relationships normally happen because I despise dating and the men kind of pressure me to get in a committed relationship. Now I am currently enjoying not having to worry about anyone but me. Are there times I get lonely? Yes, but it is not worth my peace of mind at this point.

What are some things you feel you need to change about yourself before becoming a wife?

Well I can be mean, selfish, controlling, I am not a fan of cooking , I don’t like to be talked to all the time, I also don’t like being touched all the time and I have a bad habit of tuning things out that aren’t important to me. I can be bossy. LOL. I would like to stop cursing and being harsh with my words. I don’t get offended easily so a person can say pretty much anything and it rolls off my back. However everyone is not like me so I have learned/still learning to pause and pray before I speak. The last thing I want to do is disrespect my mate with my tongue. I try to focus on Proverbs 15:1.

This is not something I need to change but it is a huge reason why I am not married: I will say the thing that has affected me the most are the men in my life (father, grandfathers, uncles and friends). These men are awesome. They are God fearing, providers, affectionate, etc. I can go on and on about them. However I would like to focus on my dad for a second (tearing up thinking about him). My father is the best dad in the world. He adores his children and his family. He provides, he loves, he listens, he judges (he is working on it), he is the first man I fell in love with. The bar that he has set is so high that I have not met a man that has a fraction of the qaulities he possess. The potential my mother and stepmother saw in my dad I have not seen in anyone I have dated.

What is something you struggle with the most in your singleness?

One thing that I struggle with is sex. I know full well I should not engage in those activities. However it is much easier when you are single/unattached to abstain. It is also easy when you really don’t like the person you’re with. The difficult part is when you are dating/in a relationship with someone you are interested in.

Next I struggle with growing old alone. I know several elderly women who never married or widowed young. That scares me! I want someone to help me get dressed, lotion me up the way my grandfather does my grandmother.

Most importantly I struggle with will I have children. If you ask any of my friends/family members I am the baby lover. I love kids especially babies. The thought of being childless scares me way more than being single. I had convinced myself that at 35 I would just go and get a baby. Why not? Everyone is doing it. Then one Sunday I was at church and my Bishop preached on Abraham and Sara (Genesis 16). I believe verse 12 states Ishmael would be a wild boar/man. My Bishop explained that when you go against God’s orders and don’t trust him you may get what you want but there will be consequences for disobeying him.

You mentioned in one of your tweets that you had a list of qualities that you wanted in a mate. Why did you throw it away?

LOL I threw the list away because my list was developed based on failed relationships and disappointments. Example: I may break up with a man that was not close to his mother so I may add ‘I want a man that is close to his mother.’ My list included the typical Christian, God fearing, no kids, etc. To be perfectly honest my last boyfriend met the requirements on the list (at least his representative did). In fact I remember being so glad I was able to go down my list checking it off. Well my list back fired and at that point I tossed it because it was not working in my favor. To be honest if he had not changed, I didn’t love him so (as I shrug shoulders) what is the point?

To me not having a list does not mean I will accept whatever comes my way. For me it means I am 100% trusting God to send me what I NEED and WANT because He knows. I also pray that I am able to receive the person because he may not come in the package I would like. I just want to make sure I have no broken pieces when he arrives and if I do I would like God to heal them ASAP.

Another reason I chose to feature you is because even though you have your struggles, you’re not making excuses about them, and through all of that you genuinely want to trust God to bring you and your future husband together. How did you get to that point?

I got to this point after my last two relationships. I also look at some of my friends who got married for the wrong reasons, staying married for the wrong reason, cheating, unhappy etc. So at 31 I rather be single than to be in a bad marriage. Then I see marriages that are working and ALL of those marriages are centered around God. If I have to wait until I am 50 years old I am willing to do that because I want God all over, in and throughout my marriage.

What would you say to a single woman who is where you are now, who wants to make a change in her life?

Pray, watch “No More Sheets”, listen to Jamal Bryant’s “I Had to Date Them”, surround yourself with as many people who are single and happy, read scriptures that focus on love, marriage, etc…Most importantly don’t settle!

Audrey Dawson is the owner of Chronicles of a Future Wife, a Christian-based blog that often does features spotlighting single, Christian women and weddings. She is currently taking a break from her blog and will be contributing fabulous features of beautiful engaged and married couples who are defying the odds and rebuilding our community one commitment at a time.