“Celebrating Black History As Black Family Falls Apart.”

This article written by Colbert I. King really left an impression on me. It really made me look at the condition of the African American Family today….where we’ve been and where we are now. And, to be honest it just made me sad. It made me sad yet more committed than ever to continue doing the work that my husband and I do. We have to. We just can’t afford to keep going down this path as a people. We’ve got to start thinking and doing more to PREVENT the madness that is happening in our own backyards. Have a read of this thought provoking article and let us know what you think.

Excerpt From SouthCoastToday.com

When Black History Month was celebrated in 1950, according to State University of New York research, 77.7 percent of black families had two parents. As of January 2010, according to the Census Bureau, the share of two-parent families among African-Americans had fallen to 38 percent.

We know that children, particularly young male African-Americans, benefit from parental marriage and from having a father in the home. Today, the majority of black children are born to single, unmarried mothers.

Celebrate? Let’s celebrate.

Three years ago, I wrote about young girls in our city who are not learning what they are really worth, young men who aren’t being taught to treat young women with respect, and boys and girls who are learning how to make babies but not how to raise them. Those conditions, the column suggested, find expression in youth violence, child abuse and neglect, school dropout rates, and the steady stream of young men flowing into the city’s detention facilities.

Boys get guns, girls get babies. This pattern isn’t new. We don’t need maps to tell us what the problem of teen births means to a city.

We know that most teenage mothers don’t graduate from high school; that many of the youths in the juvenile justice system are born to unmarried teens; and that children of teenagers are twice as likely to be abused or neglected and more likely to wind up in foster care.

We know, too, that children of teenage parents are more likely to become teen parents themselves.

An intergenerational cycle of dysfunction is unfolding before our eyes, even as we spend time rhapsodizing about our past.

No less discouraging is the response that has become ingrained.

Sixteen, unmarried and having a baby? No problem. Here are your food stamps, cash assistance and medical coverage. Can’t be bothered with the kid? No sweat, there’s foster care.

Make the young father step up to his responsibilities?

Consider this statement I received from a sexual health coordinator and youth programs coordinator in the District of Columbia concerning a teen mother she is counseling: “She recently had a child by a man who is 24 years old and has 5 other children. He is homeless and does not work, but knows how to work young girls very well … This young man is still trying to have more children.”

He’s a cause. Our community deals with his consequences.

A 16-year-old mother who reads at a sixth-grade level drops out of school? Blame the teacher. Knock the city for underserving girls during their second and third pregnancies. Blast social workers for not doing enough to help children with developmental disabilities or kids in foster care. Carp at the counselors responsible for troubled youth in detention.

Sure, tackle the consequences. Construct a bigger, better, more humane safety net. I’m for that, especially where children are concerned. And the causes?

God forbid, don’t mention causes.

Celebrate? Let’s celebrate.

CLICK HERE for full article.

7 replies
  1. moasougoso
    moasougoso says:


  2. lovesgumbo.com
    lovesgumbo.com says:

    This is a sad situation, but I have faith that the hard work you do here and in your homes will come to full fruition. Keep Loving and keep living.

  3. Patricia Knight
    Patricia Knight says:

    One last comment…God help us if we don't wake up. If we don't wake up and do something about this our children will be in prison, not able to hold a relationship together past a couple of romps in the sack, and looking to others to meet their basic needs. You know what that sounds like to me? It sounds like slavery; only it's self imposed this time around.

  4. Aiyana
    Aiyana says:

    Patricia, your words are very encouraging! And, you're right we each have to hold it down where we are….wherever we find ourselves.
    " We're pushing towards being the lender, and not the borrower; the head and not the tail." I love it!!!
    My recent post “Celebrating Black History As Black Family Falls Apart”

  5. Lisa
    Lisa says:

    I get depressed about these articles. I'm glad someone is sounding the alarm bell. I'm not ashamed or afraid that 'white' people will discover our dirty laundry. I just wish that more of us would think about the future of African Americans, and what we can do to make sure that we actually have future.

    Parents, young & old, are not doing their job. That's the bottom line. We can't continue to blame everybody but ourselves for the state of our children. We don't need a more benevolent gov't or school system. If you have a kid, you are responsible.

  6. Patricia Knight
    Patricia Knight says:

    There's hope for us, Aiyana. Some of us have looked around our neighborhoods, schools and cities, and we see what you see. I know other couples who are keeping their marriages strong, and raising their children well. We are of a modest number, but we are in regular urban neighborhoods, with our kids in public schools. We're living intentional lives and have stopped playing and started pushing. We're very disciplined and watch the company we keep. We have a high social consciousness, and most of us are Christians. Some of us have college degrees. Our common trend is that we're determined to turn this thing around in the place where we are. We're pushing towards being the lender, and not the borrower; the head and not the tail. Keep holding it down where you are, and we'll hold it down where we are!

    • Alex
      Alex says:

      I wish I could "like" this more than once! There are a lot of people working to strengthen the family structure every day including people like the Ma'ats and the people on blackandmarriedwithkids. I'm in my early 20s so I have to believe that things will get better!

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