By Team BLAM
You typically meet your dating partner’s friends early in a relationship. Sometimes you know the friends even before you begin dating. For instance, it may have been a friend that introduced you. What can you learn from this group of significant people in your partner’s life? A lot. It is within this arena of close relationships that you begin to see subtle signs of how your partner handles power and shows respect. Ultimately, marriage is to be a union of best friends. So check out how your “sweetie pie” treats his or her best friends.
Does your partner
- return phone calls?
- answer e-mails?
- admit when he or she is wrong?
- keep promises?
- always complain?
- act more like a taker or giver?
- remember special occasions?
- pick friends up or pull them down?
- respect friends?
- constantly act angry or hurt?
- initiate activities and involvement?
- address conflicts or problems in positive ways?
- seem overly dependent?
If your partner does not treat friends in ways that you admire, then what makes you think your partner won’t do these things with you? Listen to what their friends say about him or her. Many times friends are blunt and…..accurate. That doesn’t mean you need to believe their every word; on the other hand, do not dismiss what they say either because it’s a real possibility that it will show up in your relationship.
It may make you feel in the inner circle when your partner privately talks about his or her friends, coworkers, or family members. However, take note of what they’re saying. Is it justified? Is it fair? Is it realistic? Is it accurate? Would you want them representing you to the world?
Keep your eyes and ears open. Don’t be gullible. Use your head and your heart. Stop Playing. Start Pushing.
Adapted from John Van Epps ‘How To Avoid Falling For A Jerk’