Dating 101: Stop Overlooking Stuff & Pay Attention To What His Friends Say!

By Team BLAM

You typically meet your dating partner’s friends early in a relationship. Sometimes you know the friends even before you begin dating. For instance, it may have been a friend that introduced you. What can you learn from this group of significant people in your partner’s life? A lot. It is within this arena of close relationships that you begin to see subtle signs of how your partner handles power and shows respect. Ultimately, marriage is to be a union of best friends. So check out how your “sweetie pie” treats his or her best friends.

Does your partner

  • return phone calls?
  • answer e-mails?
  • admit when he or she is wrong?
  • apologize?
  • keep promises?
  • always complain?
  • act more like a taker or giver?
  • remember special occasions?
  • pick friends up or pull them down?
  • respect friends?
  • constantly act angry or hurt?
  • initiate activities and involvement?
  • address conflicts or problems in positive ways?
  • seem overly dependent?

If your partner does not treat friends in ways that you admire, then what makes you think your partner won’t do these things with you? Listen to what their friends say about him or her. Many times friends are blunt and…..accurate. That doesn’t mean you need to believe their every word; on the other hand, do not dismiss what they say either because it’s a real possibility that it will show up in your relationship.

It may make you feel in the inner circle when your partner privately talks about his or her friends, coworkers, or family members. However, take note of what they’re saying. Is it justified? Is it fair? Is it realistic? Is it accurate? Would you want them representing you to the world?

Keep your eyes and ears open. Don’t be gullible. Use your head and your heart. Stop Playing. Start Pushing.

Adapted from John Van Epps ‘How To Avoid Falling For A Jerk’

5 replies
  1. Monica
    Monica says:

    This is really good info! Another way to tell how a man may treat his significant other is by observing how he treats his mother or other female family members that he is close to.

  2. Charla
    Charla says:

    I have a situation where I've been dating my boyfriend for like 6 months and during the last couple of months 2 of his friends have made comments that suggest he might be gay or at least bi. I'm really confused. I've asked him what do they mean by those comments and he says they just joke around like that. But, thats a pretty serious joke to me. i dont know what to believe. Please some advice from anybody!

    • Briana @ 20&Engaged
      Briana @ 20&Engaged says:

      What does your heart say? Is it something that you can brush off and not see it being plausible at all, or is it something where you feel like there's a possibility it can hold some truth to it? Also, take cues from how the friends are saying it. Do they have a joking manner around the statement or is there seriousness in their voice?
      My recent post Would You Invest in a Loved One’s Business?

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  1. […] By goddessintellect Monday November 21, 2011 A man and his boys are often like ‘batty an bench’ so naturally when the crew is distressed most likely your union will also be effected, this is also the same for most of his significant external relationships. I came across an article while visiting my friends at Black love and marriage called “Dating 101: Stop Overlooking Stuff & Pay Attention To What His Friends Say!” […]

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