Dating While Married. Are You Guilty? We Hope So!
By Debbie Leigh Fraser
Almost half of marriages these days fail. That’s a bit daunting for anyone thinking of entering into a marriage.
Why? Can it be prevented? I think a lot of people put an awful lot of effort into their relationship while dating, but after marriage, and children we fall into a bit of a mundane routine. Go to work, eat dinner, bath the kids, put the kids to bed, then sit in front of the computer or tv and often fall asleep, without having a conversation other than what the kids have been up to during the day.
That’s why I think a date night for every married couple is a necessity, if not every week then at least once a month.
What stops a lot of people having a date night often is, they can’t afford a babysitter, or can’t afford to go out. But by putting a limit on what you spend on a date night can actually make the whole experience more special. It’s easy, if you have the money, to book a beautiful restaurant, send flowers or buy an expensive box of chocolates but if you have a budget of just say $30 for night, you really need to put a lot of thought into what you can do that’s special but also inexpensive.
It is so much nicer when you receive a gift where a lot of thought has gone into it, a gift voucher is easy, but not a lot of thought has gone into that idea.
What can you do with $30 for an evening for two people. A beautiful walk along the beach, throw a blanket on the ground, lay back and watch the stars – totally free. Pack a picnic with a nice bottle of wine, some good music and head off to a park. Go for a walk along the river, then sit in a cozy little cafe with a good cup of coffee and a delicious cake. It really is endless with a bit of thought.
So what about not having a babysitter? There are other couples out there that would also like to have a date night, swap babysitting with them, have their children over for a sleepover or vice versa. Start a date night babysitting circle in your neighbourhood.
Marriage isn’t the be all and end all, it has to be worked at like everything else in life, so have some fun and rediscover again why you fell in love.
Debbie Fraser is a mother of 4 living on the beautiful Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. She is the owner of Ourdatenights.com and the author of the e-book “Our Date Nights” which has loads and loads of Date Night Ideas under $30.
Throughout our 18 years date night has been a huge theme. We get a hotel in town if we can afford it or we get a slice of pizza and a hard lemonade and drink it in the park or car. The most important thing is that we laugh, talk and hang loose. We've spent $20 playing skee ball or air hockey. We've even put music on our deck with some takeout , and drinks and called it a kid-free zone for a few hours. It doesn't have to be elaborate, but it does have to happen.
It's about that connection and feeling that you are in love and fancy free for a few hours at a time.
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Thank you for writing this article, I love it.
I forget that others have the same baby sitting challenges that we do. Swapping sounds like a great idea. I miss our date nights. Thanks for this.
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Yes, I'm actually gonna send out an email/give a call to some moms that I know to see if we can organize some kind of babysitting circle or something. Date nights have to stay a priority! 🙂