Don’t Just Tell Me You Love Me….Show Me You Love Me

By Bellasia Filippis

The words “I love you” can become repetitive and meaningless if they are said after every phone call, before every night at bed, and every time you part. In fact, they can turn into the shortened version that sounds something like “Loveya “.

The fact that those three words can make us feel loved and part of a happy union means that we can’t cut them out of our daily lives altogether and only say them once in a while, but we can change the way we say them. There are ways to add some substance and some power behind them that make them even more special and important when they are said.

So in case you are stuck in the “Loveya” section, here are ten ideas to help you get into the meaningful “I Love You” seats.

1. Make your partner feel like a superstar.

Everyone feels good when someone tells us how great we are, and where better for that news to come from then from our partner.

Whether they closed a huge deal or made the best supper ever, let them know that you think they are amazing. Tell them, without exaggerating, how good of a job they did or why they are so good at doing it.

2. Do something for them that you normally would not do.

Do you normally wait till they do the dishes to come into the kitchen or do you never get out and do the yard work? There’s always something that we ‘let’ our partner do all the time because it has become their role. Give them a break and take over that role for them and let them know that you appreciate that they always do it.

3. Watch out for their best interest.

This can become pushy or overbearing if it’s done improperly but there’s no better way to say I love you then to show them how much you care about them. So if their cholesterol is through the roof, let them know how much you want them to be around for years to come and how laying off the fast food may help that happen. Basically let them know that you care about them, their health, and everything that concerns them.

4. Admit when you are wrong.

It’s hard to admit when we are wrong to our partners but if you love them enough, then you will give them the courtesy of letting them know when they are right. They will appreciate the gesture because it is just as hard for them to do it and they know it.

5. Give them compliments in front of other people.

It doesn’t matter if it’s their boss, friend, or a complete stranger sitting on the same bench. Show your enthusiasm and appreciation for them in front of others.

6. Accept that they are different than you and appreciate them instead of making them feel bad.

Do they take forever to say what they have to say while you can just spit it out? Do they suck at playing cards and make games drag out forever? This is who they are!

They are not the same as you and just because they don’t excel where you excel doesn’t mean that they are wrong. Make them feel good about their differences by telling them the upside of them instead of making them feel like they are not living up to your expectations. This is a huge way to say I love you. Accept them for them.

7. Use the saying “This is one of the reasons why I love you.”

If they make you feel good about something than whip out the saying and mean it. If they do something nice for you then use it again. It makes them feel as though you really love whatever side of themselves they are showing you. It will make them feel loved for doing nice things for you. You can’t go wrong there!

8. Take their side in an argument with others.

In private you may not have to agree all the time but you should let others know that you stand by your partners thoughts. Standing beside them wherever you go is one of the best ways to say I love you. If you always agree with other people instead of agreeing with them then you are sending them the message that you don’t respect the way they think or feel. If they say it happened, then it happened. If they say it’s blue, then it’s blue.

9. Listen without other distractions around.

You are the person your partner shares their day with and feelings and thoughts about it. You should be listening and acknowledging what they are saying and not just simply nodding while watching TV or playing on the computer.

Listening is one of the hardest parts of communication and to do it properly makes the other person feel validated and respected. So give your undivided attention to what they have to say without distractions, interrupting or adding your opinion.

10. Treat your partner the way you want to be treated.

he golden rule has never applied to anyone as much as it should in your closest relationship.

Outside of your relationship you can sometimes be treated poorly, be humiliated, made to feel or look bad, and you can be looked down upon. But you should never have to feel this way with the one you love and what better way to tell them how much you love them than by treating them the way you want to be treated.

Bellaisa is an advocate for happy and stable relationships with yourself and with others and she is the owner of The Relationship Circle. For more information and advice on how to find love or fix a relationship issue visit and begin a happier and more fulfilling love life.

1 reply
  1. Smoov
    Smoov says:

    A lot of little things go a very long way. True – saying you love someone is as meaningful as showing it most times – especially for couples that have been together for many years.

    It's easy to say, "You know I love you." But it's so much more meaningful to know you do things regularly that show your partner that the love is there & it's as strong as ever. And to know that your partner "knows" you love them w/o you having to say it always warms the heart & further strengthens the security within a relationship.

    And equally, it's hard to accept that may you haven't been as "loving" as you ought to be. Sometimes, we all get caught in an emotional rut where many things in our life cause elevations in stress & anxiety – leading to periods of negative thoughts and less than positive things to say about everything. During these time, most of us forget how our negative attitudes "directly" affects our loving partners. And it's important to still pay attention to loved ones that are trying to pull you out of that "emotional rut" so you can continue to share the love you truly appreciate.

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