Don’t Make A Mockery Out Of Marriage

By Ilex Bien-Aime

My views on marriage are based on my moral beliefs. I believe that marriage is forever and not just until you get tired of someone. Unfortunately the world has a different take on the subject. People tend to view marriage as if it is a dress with the tag still on it. They wear it for little bit and once they get tired of it they try to take it back. Like buying a pair of new Nike Air Force Ones – if we get one smudge on them, we look to replace them.

Many  don’t view marriage as being important anymore. Today people see being married as a sort natural progression. Some of us feel that once we reach a certain age and achieve certain accomplishments, marriage is the next step. The deep significance of a lifelong partner becomes overlooked. The situation also becomes worse the older we become, because many of us will marry the first person that seems semi decent. Nothing makes people rush to the altar faster than when they see their friends getting married and start having babies.

When so many people start adopting these trivial thoughts on marriage, the sacredness of the institution becomes null and void. I believe that this is one of the reasons that the divorce rate is so high. People don’t understand that marriage is not a game. It is a lot of hard work and there are many sacrifices to be made. Unfortunately folks don’t seriously think about these things when they rush to get married. As soon as problems arise, they feel that divorce is the way to go.

Marriage is not a  a short term lease where you test it out for a little bit and get a newer one later. The world has adopted this great lack of commitment  that makes marriage into a joke. It’s crazy, but now people get married because of a drunken night in Vegas or because they lost a bet. Seriously, Kim Kardashian?! 72 days?! Is that what marriage has now become?  Because no one wants to take marriage seriously, many are over before they start.

I get into arguments with people all of the time when I tell them that if I were rich, I would not sign a prenuptial agreement. I understand that the agreement would be there as a protection of my assets, but what about becoming one? What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine but I guess that only works for poor people…..? To me this agreement is saying “just in case”. Well I don’t want a “just in case” marriage – we are sticking this thing out. I always say that marriage is not all about drinking piña coladas and making love under the pale moonlight. If you think it is, you seriously shouldn’t get married. That way you will save yourself a divorce later on.

Over the past few years, I have been to more weddings then I care to count. Each time I heard the pastor tell the bride and groom that marriage is a sacred bond and that it is not to be taken lightly. Maybe we live in a Godless society where people don’t care about making and breaking vows to God. I take my vows seriously. Don’t get me wrong – this walk ain’t easy. This thing is a full time job with long hours but if you meet the right person, the pay is excellent. Maybe there needs to be more stringent rules to getting married. That way people would have time to think before rushing into it. I know that this would never happen so all I can do is worry about my own marriage. I refuse to make a mockery out of marriage, I just wish everyone else would follow suit!

Ilex Bien-Aime is an integral part of the team. He lives in Washington, DC with his lovely wife. He writes as a man who has seen women mistreat themselves and who have allowed themselves to be mistreated. He writes as a man who wants to give his future daughters a guideline on how to deal with men. Lastly he writes what he writes because his female friends are always asking his opinion about these situations. Connect with Ilex at or via email

9 replies
  1. tee
    tee says:

    Ilex that was perfectly said. The key is this is a Godless society like you said no one is concerned with satisfy God let along keeping a vowe made before him. If this was not so less people would be shacking and or divorcing. You are right its hard work but with God all things are possble. Thanks for your insight!

  2. James Davis
    James Davis says:

    a lot of assumptions in your thesis here. I think that we are not given the tools often times by society, especially our church about how to make a successful marriage and quoting proverbs is not the way to handle it. Marriage is tough and a lot of people are getting ZERO satisfaction from it and fall to religious counselors with no training or expertise in how to make a marriage work. No one gets married for superficial reasons or to get divorced. Everyone has the best of intentions but intentions don't save the marriage…neither does assuming someone's marriage didn't or is not working because they are MOCKING God.

  3. Veleta Whitfield
    Veleta Whitfield says:

    This is wonderful!!

  4. Love Babz
    Love Babz says:

    Well said! This is the kind of sentiments that we need to carry into our communities.

  5. Coach YaSheeka
    Coach YaSheeka says:

    A great article! Absolutely enjoyed reading.

  6. Ilex
    Ilex says:

    Lol thank you Lana!!!

  7. lanamolinespeaks
    lanamolinespeaks says:

    Luv it! You are so right. Marriage is the center of the families and not treasuring it as it should be is one of the reasons for the breakdown of the family. It is always so refreshing to hear a man's perspective on issues like this. KEEP WRITING BROTHER ILEX! I'm not screaming, just emphasizing. Peace and blessings!

  8. Ilex
    Ilex says:

    Thank you Maurice!!!

  9. Maurice
    Maurice says:

    This was a good read. To many people are not fully committed to the process.

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