By Chiara Atik
“So, are you single?” It’s a question we expect people to have one of two answers to: Yes, or no. You’re either single or you’re not.
But what about all the various degrees of singlehood? Some single people I know haven’t been on a date in years; others are on a date every night; still others haven’t officially declared themselves paired off, but spend most of their free time with the same person. Where do you fall on the spectrum?
1) The Single Still Mourning Their Last Relationship
Your last relationship was a doozy: a Nicholas Sparks-worthy tale of passion, love, and resentment. You might feel like you need a few years to tend to your depleted emotional wells after that break-up. In the meantime, you may find yourself half-heartedly dating, but your heart’s just not into it yet. Instead, you’d rather talk about your last relationship to your (very patient) friends. Don’t worry — we’ve all been there.
2) The Single Who Is Painfully Aware of Being Single
You see yourself as being single above everything: in your mind, it’s your defining characteristic. You’ve started to fixate on the couple sitting in front of you at the movies, rather than on the movie itself. Maybe you resent your paired-up friends. Maybe you start to avoid the topic of dating altogether. You start to feel like the prospect of dating is hopeless — and it will be, unless you turn your attitude around, and start seeing yourself as a person, not just a single person.
3) The Single Who Is Eternally Single (And Content With It)
Work life? Check. Friends? Check. Cool hobbies, interests, clothes, apartment? Check, check, check, check. You seem to have everything in your life, except, for some reason, a relationship.
There’s no good reason why you’re single, that’s just how things sort of are for you right now. Maybe you go on some dates now and then, but for the most part, you find yourself happily settled into your solo routines and habits. Someday, you might make room in your life for a relationship, but for now, it’s not a priority.
4) The Newly Single Person Who Doesn’t Really Mind Being Single
Ah, single again. Well, no big deal: you know the routine. For you, being single is just a time to recalibrate after a relationship. Hang out with friends more, start that project you’ve been putting off, get back to the gym.
After all, it’s sort of nice to be on your own for a while! To have quiet nights in by yourself, and wild nights out with your friends. You totally appreciate the positive side to being single, which is good, because you’re usually not single for long.