He Cannot Stop Looking At Other Women!

By Ruth Purple

Earth- composed of 70% water and 30% land. It is also made up of various elements like 32% iron, 30% oxygen, 15% silicon, 14% magnesium, 3% sulfur, 2% nickel, and then much smaller piles of calcium, aluminum, and other trace elements. It is also inhabited by “Homo sapiens”… beautiful Homo sapiens… young, vibrant and sexy female Homo sapiens.

You can see a bunch of them on the mountains, on the beach, rural and urban areas. Earth is a veritable playground for frisky male Homo sapiens. And in one little island called Manhattan, a confused and frustrated female wants her male to stop looking at other female species. This female says that she loves his hair, his clothes, his wit and his sense of humor but she loathes his habit of ogling at other women.

Yes, her boyfriend is one of those men who can never stop looking at other women. She tried several times to confront him, but she was having doubts that she might be making a mountain out of a mole hill. Until one fateful night, at a fancy restaurant, after eating fancy foods, her boyfriend was doing it again- “looking at other ladies!” At that moment, she felt bombarded by the earth itself, so she decided to finally confront him about the issue.

But much to her surprise, her ogling partner thought that it was silly of her to be concerned about “NOTHING”. He said “There is no harm in appreciating beauty. I look, but I don’t touch, and I don’t remember! This is who I am. Don’t try to change me!” Her boyfriend’s answer made her more confused and hurt.

Does this mean that she would just take this all in and accept her boyfriend’s habit of looking at other women? To what extent should we compromise our feelings? Is men’s habit of being unable to stop looking at other women part of their genetic code, like farting? Can’t they help it? When your partner stares at other women, how do feel? Do you feel insulted? Not good enough? Embarrassed? Unattractive? Insecure? What if we try creating inner defenses for these unhealthy beliefs about ourselves? Defenses like believing and internalizing that we are unique and beautiful in our own right! Don’t you think we, women sometimes give our partners too much power that we allow them to define what we feel and think about ourselves? You should learn to define the line- if you think that there is emotional cheating that comes with staring at other girls; then it’s time to consider it as a serious matter.
There are things that we cannot control- like our partner’s habits, but we can always control our reactions and make ourselves rise to the occasion.

The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a Relationship and Dating Expert. Conquer Infidelity and Experience a Happier Love Life through her website at www.relazine.com

5 replies
  1. come. on people
    come. on people says:

    If he is so selfish to not even consider her feeling on something so small, I wonder what would he do on deeper issues.

  2. JeiLThom
    JeiLThom says:

    There's a difference between looking at other women because you notice them vs. looking at other women with an intent to visually undress them right there. There's a good way to look & there's a bad way to "get caught staring". Staring (and ogling) at other women is disrespectful. I would even suspend that he'd be upset if she looked at other men and kinda ignored him.

    I mentioned this before as a comment to another article, but it's ok for both of them to notice other attractive people. But to do so when the other person is so visibly uncomfortable is just plain rude. I honestly don't like it when my wife gets all giddy (like a 15 yr old) when she sees a hot muscular guy — it's OK to notice, but not OK to be outwardly silly about it.

    It comes down to respect. It's important to speak up & say something when it happens. And if it continues, then re-evaluate your situation.

    • Erica Mines-Simmons
      Erica Mines-Simmons says:

      I'm glad to hear that statement from a male. Its so annoying to be with someone when every time the opposite sex walks by they act like their beginning puberty. The first thing males do today when they see a female is look directly at her sexual assets as if they never seen one before. women are constantly looked upon for sexual purpose and intent, I personally think it disrespectful relationship or not, and no one should feel threatened at the presence of another. Everyone sees and notices alot but to stare/oogle at a mans/womans backside, breast or frontal genitilia when with your mate can cross the line of disrespect. I think alot of times people confuse the insecure aspect of it out side of just wanting simple respect. Look if you must but don't become consumed, engaged and all over the place with it. Have some boundries and self-control.

  3. Carey
    Carey says:

    This is a tough one right here….I agree with you dana it all boils down to RESPECT

  4. dana
    dana says:

    it's okay to look, but he shouldn't be so disrespectful to do it right in her face. maybe she can start looking at other men in front of him so he'd know how she feels

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