By Lana Moline
Tonight at about 9:15pm, long after the kids are asleep and we’ve both showered, I’m going to holla at my man. It’s been a minute since we’ve had one of these talks and I just can’t wait any longer. With all the running, working and responsibilities of life maybe I neglected to put this bug in his ear. Don’t get me wrong I tell him “I love you” every day and kiss him good morning and good night but this is something that I just haven’t said. It’s sort of an announcement or a declaration if you will. Tonight, I’m going to tell him just how much I miss my boyfriend.
My boyfriend used to send me text messages telling me how nice I look in my jeans and whisper things that still makes me blush while driving home at speeds that I am grateful no cops witnessed. He used to reassure me every day that I am the woman of his dreams and that nothing or no one is more important than me. He wasn’t afraid to be goofy or vulnerable, all in the name of love. He would sing “My Girl” with all the moves and spin and even attempt to drop down on one knee just to see me smile. I don’t know where he went but today I’ve got to get him back.
His timbs and nikes have been replaced with loafers and dress shoes. Don’t get me wrong, I love a man in a suit but there is nothing like a brother spitting game all donned in gear that says “I’m fresh off the b-ball court with like mike dreams.” Tickets to the games are replaced by business meetings filled with people with dollar signs in their eyes. No more rap sessions, house parties or get-togethers on the weekends, that’s the time to organize and plan for next week.
So when I holla at him I will not prepare a PowerPoint or pie chart. I will not give him statistics or websites that support my claim. I’m simply going to look him in the eye and tell him that I know his time is limited but I have 3 points I want him to know. I miss having fun and laughing until my side hurts. I miss the look he used to give me from across the room even if we were in church and I still want him – tonight!
Lana Moline is a freelance writer and poet who lives in Fort Worth with her husband and three kids. She has been married 11 years and understands that marriage truly is a journey that is sometimes complicated by our own thoughts, perceptions and feelings. Visit her at her blog LanaSuccess4Kids.