Is He The One? Your 6 Point Quality Assurance Checklist
By Lucy OBrien
Still searching for dating success? If you’re in a new relationship and you’re not sure where it’s headed, perhaps you should try putting the man in your life through some quality assurance tests to see whether he’s the one for you. Find out if your relationship has a chance of becoming a successful relationship by seeing how many of these tests it passes.
Is your man mature enough to be in a long term successful relationship? Indicators of maturity include generosity, affection and the way he communicates with you when you have issues with him or the relationship. Look out for the way he treats you and other people. If he puts you down or gets upset when you don’t meet his every need, or if he disappears from your relationship every time there is a problem, then he’s probably not mature enough to stand the test of time. If he gets jealous or aggressive or has outbursts of other negative emotions, you should think very hard about whether he would make a suitable partner. Your choice of partner is going to affect your future happiness. To ensure your dating success, choose wisely and choose a man who is mature enough for a great relationship.
Compatibility is one of the most important factors in dating and relationship success. Don’t get carried away by the chemistry you feel, make sure the two of you are compatible before getting attached to him. Do you have interests in common and activities that you can do together? Do you laugh together and get on well? Are you good friends? Can you talk to him easily and does he open up to you? All these qualities indicate compatibility in the relationship.
If he’s not prepared to make an effort for you then he’s not the one for you. Period. Don’t try harder thinking that if you give more he will love you for it. If he’s not in touch regularly, if he’s not taking you out places, if he’s not interested in your company then he’s “just not that into you”.
Does he pursue you when you withdraw? What happens if you pull back a bit? What happens if you don’t text or call him back? Does he disappear off the face of the planet? Does he shout or moan that he hasn’t heard from you and give you a hard time? Or does he come after you… wanting your company… wanting your attention… fascinated by why he hasn’t heard from you and what you’ve been up to in the last couple of days? A mature man who is interested in you won’t want you to get too far away.
As this is quality assurance then we should talk about acceptance testing. Can you accept him for whom he is or would you like to change him? A successful relationship is one in which both partners can be themselves. If you are hoping that he will somehow change then perhaps your relationship is not as solid as you would like. If you want to change him, then change him for someone else!
Is he making it obvious that he wants to spend time with you? Is he allowing you to meet his family and friends? Does he tell you he loves you regularly? Does he buy you gifts either spontaneously or on special occasions? It’s generally obvious when a man is crazy about you. Or, are you trying to convince him that he should give more or want more from your relationship? If it’s the latter then it won’t work. Words won’t persuade him to commit. Work on building the chemistry if you want commitment, or let him go.
It’s amazing how many women meet a man, feel attracted, and then allow themselves to be sucked into a relationship with him, without checking out whether he would make a good partner first. If your relationship doesn’t feel quite right, then use these tests to determine where the problems lie. But remember that you can’t change him unless he wants to change. Don’t forget that dating success is just as much about getting rid of the wrong ones as meeting Mr Right. If it’s not working out perhaps it’s time to let him go so you can continue your search for a successful relationship.
What are the secrets to captivating your man and having him love and cherish you? How do you get him to listen to you, connect to you and get close to you? What makes a man want to get married, and how can you take advantage of his natural wish to please you so that he will not be able to do enough for you? Visit makemyrelationshipfabulous.info to find out all this and more.
define dating success. can't a sista get out and date cause she just wants to enjoy some good company. if i'm dating do I have to be trying to establish a relationship? I ask because I back new to the dating scene. I'm SINGLE AGAIN. Is it socially acceptable to go out and have a lil fun? My maturity check would be him being able to romance me and keep me engaged in an interesting conversation. We don't need to be compatable because we can relate. Again I aint looking for 'the one'. Please Lord don't send me anybody that is making an effort. Just dating not developing nothing. I can't read no mo! This does not apply to me with what I am up to now nor would I do it if I were looking for the one. Too much useless work involved. I'd rather relate with a man then hold him to some standards. No wonder I've choosen to be SINGLE AGAIN….my last ex couldn't get that i refuse to live up to standards….i am fearfully and wonderfully made……;^)
My recent post SINGLE AGAIN?
It is very important fact that you have drafted here, I am in love with my first boyfriend. I have tried to move on already have two kids and till this day we have a No Strings attached relationship…sadly we are both single. It is not easy applying these fact but it's time I try.
Many men love and think differently. Men are human, they err as humans. Does that mean if he erred by forgetting to call he is not into you? Furthermore men dont fit on one checklist or the same category or a box. What about if he is saving money for a house and cant afford gifts for you? Is he less of a man? What if he is laid off, do you stopping loving or dating him till he gets another job to afford things for you? It sound like an article for a woman who needs constant attention. Its all about me this…, me that… A self assured woman that is confident of herself doesnt need to crave for attention each and every time over the littliest silliest things. You cant demand or force commitment on anyone. It has to come naturally as the relationship and trust progresses. Love does not exist in things, it exists in deep feelings for one another. The sense of stability, security, respect and partnership. Lastly, how can a man feel free to be who he is if the woman is demanding him to be someone he is not? Who says I have to be who you think in your mind I should be? No wonder divorce rates are skyrocketing….!
I unknowingly applied these checks with the man I was with and based on your explanations he failed 4 of 6 checks. I broke it off with him a month ago and though I was sad about it, I knew he wasn't the man I needed him to be and I wasn't the woman he needed me to be.
I will definitely use some of this when I evaluate my date this weekend.