Okay, I am a 29 year old AA woman, my husband and i have been married for a little over 2 years now. I met my husband when we were in college, he was in his freshmen year and I was in my senior . I was fortunate in that where I had interned just so happened to have a position open and so I began working shortly after graduation. My husband (then boyfriend) had been having a hard time focusing on assignments and class work and by the end of the second semester he had decided to venture off into “other things” wholey”! It was a life style that I can’t say I was proud of, but we were comfortable. I knew what he was doing and while I didn’t like it I feel more often than not had I said something more and/or been more adamant with regards to me telling him so, things would be alot different today.
Just before our world came crashing down we decided that I would return to school to complete my MSW, and I was hopeful that my husband would be inspired and would return with me to finish up his degree as well! With my new class schedule (and i am aware that this sounds as if I’m making excuses for his actions) i had to reduce my work to part time which had, had some impact on our finances. Sufficed to say he got heavier into “other things”… Soon there after… Karma I guess…
Fast foward, 8 years invested, 1 child not biologically his but his no less, a mortgage, A FAMILY.
My husband was arrested and received a fairly hefty sentence and it has been extremely difficult to sustain this family but we have, even in his physical absence. Now I love this man, I believe I loved him even before I uttered the words aloud. I have accepted the fact that he will be away for a while but I often times wonder if it fair or even realistic to say that we’ll last. My husband as of late has been saying to me more often than not that even though we are married he’ll understand if I need to leave him, I don’t know if he’s trying to make me leave him or what, I respond by telling him that we won’t make forever promises, I tell him of what I know. I tell him that I loved him yesterday, I tell him that I love him today and if I wake up tomorrow and feel one iota of what I feel today then I’ll stay another day.
Ma’ats, I am not asking whether I should go or stay, as I am clear that this must be a decision that I must make whole heatedly and on my own, its just that I have been following for quite sometime and really appreciate your perspective. What i want to know is if you think it REALISTIC to stay?