By Ayize Ma’at
A couple of days ago I had an interesting early morning experience. Aiyana had just finished a daily devotional phone call with her mom and was just laying still staring at me when I opened my eyes. By the look on her face I could tell something was on her spirit and tears were ready to pour. So I asked her “What’s wrong baby?” She said, “We’ve got a lot going on, and it’s hard.” Before she even finished the last word she began crying. I sat there and looked at her as tears fell from her eyes. I listened to her release into the atmosphere the load that’s weighing heavy on her heart. A part of me felt helpless and handicapped because all I could offer was a kiss on the forehead and reassurance that we’re gonna get through this.
Those of you who follow us know that our tag line is Stop Playing Start Pushing. We’re all about overcoming obstacles, shape shifting, and breaking down barriers. While this approach to life is definitely necessary, watching my wife cry and our subsequent conversation, evoked a different emotional response….simply…BE STILL.
You see, Stop Playing. Start Pushing….has it’s place. Standing still and feeling fear…..being present with the magnitude of the moment has it’s place too. In that moment when I sat with my wife and experienced the meaning behind her tears, I too was challenged to be present and experience the magnitude of the moment….a moment which includes:
pre op authorizations, hydroxyurea, pulmonary specialist, sickle cell anemia, blood draws, albuterol 3 times/day, pediatrician clearance, singulair, bone marrow transplant appointment, pulmacort 3 times/day, avascular necrosis, blood transfusion, and surgery….AND 3 OTHER CHILDREN.
When I sit and think about all of that and how ALL of it has been only a fraction of our hectic lives for the past 7 days….I say WOW. I also say Thank God. I thank God for the friend (you know who you are) who told my wife it’s o.k. to be afraid and feel overwhelmed. I thank God for allowing me to have enough emotional insight to be the tissue for my wife’s tears and not be ashamed to shed my own. I thank God for all of the folks out there who’ve donated to the PENNIES for ASANTE campaign, tweeted the PENNIES for ASANTE campaign, shared on FB the PENNIES for ASANTE campaign, offered to run a post on their website in support of the PENNIES for ASANTE campaign, and said a prayer for the PENNIES for ASANTE campaign. All of it counts and I thank GOD for all of it.
Asante is having hip surgery on Friday 6/29 to address his Avascular Necrosis. He developed Avascular Necrosis in both hips as a result of SICKLE CELL ANEMIA. While the surgery on Friday won’t cure his sickle cell (that’s what the PENNIES for ASANTE campaign is for) he’s still very excited and optimistic because he’s hoping this procedure will enable him to run and jump with his friends again. Please say a prayer for him and our family yall…..we really appreciate your love and support.