Marriage Advice For Newlyweds: Calm Down

By Shevach Pepper

As a newlywed, you need to take the time to calm down and not go into panic mode when you find that your first year of marriage is not turning out how you thought it would be. Hollywood can make things seem all rosy with their fairytale romance movies and unrealistic lives. While there is real happiness to be found outside of the movie set, it does take a lot of work. But taking the time to calm down and work out the difficulties you find yourselves having can bring you true closeness and deep happiness in the end.

The following  will show you how you can avoid 3 mistakes that you may encounter in your first year of marriage.

1. Forget about the past. You decided to get married because you loved each other and wanted to spend your lives together. This requires some getting to know each other, compromising and working things out. Just because we as humans like to only remember the good times and forget the bad times, does not mean that they do not happen. Always thinking about how things were in the past will stop you from being able to focus on the here and now.

2. Don’t play the comparison game with other couples around you. It is not fair to either you or your spouse to start comparing your marriage with those of others. Just because another couple may look like they are always happy, does not mean that is the truth. You do not know the troubles they have behind closed doors. All relationships need time to grow and mesh as one. By comparing yourself to others, you do not have the energy and concentration you need to make your own marriage work.

3. Don’t give yourself a time limit before deciding it is time to throw in the towel. As long as there is no physical abuse happening, there is always time and hope to work things out. You must remember that being married is new for both of you. It can be a big change and takes time to grow into a partnership that works well as a team. You do not know when things will get better. Giving up before you find out is not fair to anyone. Try something every day and you will soon find things will improve.

The first year of marriage is an adjustment period for all newlyweds. By all means, while it takes time to get used to living with someone else, you should never give up too easily. The most important marriage advice therefore is to make sure you do not compare yourself to other couples, don’t stay in the past dreaming about how things used to be, and don’t call it quits before you have tried your best. If you stick it out you will soon find happiness once again.

3 replies
  1. NaaTrai
    NaaTrai says:

    Definitely something I needed to read. I will soon be embarking on a new journey with the love of my life and this just goes to show we are on the right track. Sure we are all about happiness, but we are remembering that reality will set in after the honeymoon and we have to be ready for that. 🙂 Great article.

  2. Briana Myricks
    Briana Myricks says:

    Was this for me? I'm pretty sure it is. Thank you for writing this Shevach. I will work harder to find that bliss in my marriage.

    • Isabela
      Isabela says:

      How to get your ex-boyfriend back when he has a new girlfriend?Ok, so back in November like anruod the 26 maybe me and my boyfriend and his bestfriend and his bestfriend’s girlfriend were all going to go see a movie. Well, things didnt work out as planned. My mom didnt know that my boyfriend was going to go because we are only in 7th grade. But she found out and i got grounded. But my boyfriend and his bestfriend and bestfriend’s girlfriend still went. Well his best friend’s girlfriend decided to bring her friend so .. they all go to the movies. And then Monday morning he broke up with me. . And now he has been dating his bestfriend’s girlfriend’s friend . .. I CAN NOT TAKE IT ANY LONGER!! I NEED HIM BACK!! Any suggestions? And if youre juss gonna say move on honey then feel free not to comment(:

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