Marriage Advice For Newlyweds: Calm Down

By Shevach Pepper

As a newlywed, you need to take the time to calm down and not go into panic mode when you find that your first year of marriage is not turning out how you thought it would be. Hollywood can make things seem all rosy with their fairytale romance movies and unrealistic lives. While there is real happiness to be found outside of the movie set, it does take a lot of work. But taking the time to calm down and work out the difficulties you find yourselves having can bring you true closeness and deep happiness in the end.

The following  will show you how you can avoid 3 mistakes that you may encounter in your first year of marriage.

1. Forget about the past. You decided to get married because you loved each other and wanted to spend your lives together. This requires some getting to know each other, compromising and working things out. Just because we as humans like to only remember the good times and forget the bad times, does not mean that they do not happen. Always thinking about how things were in the past will stop you from being able to focus on the here and now.

2. Don’t play the comparison game with other couples around you. It is not fair to either you or your spouse to start comparing your marriage with those of others. Just because another couple may look like they are always happy, does not mean that is the truth. You do not know the troubles they have behind closed doors. All relationships need time to grow and mesh as one. By comparing yourself to others, you do not have the energy and concentration you need to make your own marriage work.

3. Don’t give yourself a time limit before deciding it is time to throw in the towel. As long as there is no physical abuse happening, there is always time and hope to work things out. You must remember that being married is new for both of you. It can be a big change and takes time to grow into a partnership that works well as a team. You do not know when things will get better. Giving up before you find out is not fair to anyone. Try something every day and you will soon find things will improve.

The first year of marriage is an adjustment period for all newlyweds. By all means, while it takes time to get used to living with someone else, you should never give up too easily. The most important marriage advice therefore is to make sure you do not compare yourself to other couples, don’t stay in the past dreaming about how things used to be, and don’t call it quits before you have tried your best. If you stick it out you will soon find happiness once again.