My Past Keeps Popping Up In My Present Relationship


Viewer Letter: I saw your videos and find them very informational and helping to those like myself who are hurting. I have a question? I am a giver of myself to all and anyone who shows me the slightest interest of what I perceive is love/ attention. I hate myself and don’t believe I will ever love myself  until I first fix what is wrong with me. My outer beauty will never match my inside but I am willing to go great lengths to change or sadly stay depressed and be used. I started a journal and have some alone time and it is helpful but it is not enough what should I do. I am in a relationship where my past is the problem, who I was with and the things I have done really matter to this one. I am sick of hearing about it because hello I went through it let alone have some man bring it up to but in my face.  I have other issues but my biggest problem is that even if I let this one go I will eventually end up with another. What should I do?

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4 replies
  1. arulcalrai
    arulcalrai says:

    Love it.

  2. cdmixer
    cdmixer says:

    I think the writter is what is called being emotional limbo, She deffitnately in limbo emotionally, she interpits love possibly through intimacy. She may have sought love to replace the love missing as child, or from a missing dad. So the realationships, have been fleeting. She doesnt love herself, and is using sex to replace love with in. Also possible the guy, may have been froma rebound or cheating and realize how there realationship was built. And now the veil or denial has fallen. Lastly, seeking therapy, give it to your higher power, and start the work emotionally. Maybe she realizes that she had a good man, left him for someone else, addicted to drama, and now realizes that her pain steems from her past well before dating was an option..

  3. cecinia
    cecinia says:

    talk to him if he keep doing that then leave ,we allmake mistake that life his using that to hurt u that not someone that love u.

  4. bejewelle
    bejewelle says:

    She also has to address the fact that her partner keeps bringing up stuff from her past that she wants to leave there. Why does he do it? Is it to undermine her? When does he do it – when arguing? Is he using what he knows about her against her to hurt her or put her in her place? I do think it would be good for her to get outside support as well (since he may not be the best at providing it in this case).

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