Something Far Greater Is Waiting For You!

By Ilex Bien-Aime

It’s funny how life works. Steps that you took and decisions that you made years ago can change your life today. Some believe it to be Divine Intervention, while others say that it’s just dumb luck. However you like to see it, I am amazed by the results. Every time I think of my wife, I am reminded that there is a force greater than myself working.

I was raised in Ft. Lauderdale, FL not knowing that my wife existed. She was raised in East Orange, New Jersey not knowing about me either. Elementary school, middle school, high school, and college yet still no clue about each other. First crush, first kiss, homecoming dates, prom dates, and a few heartaches later but still no knowledge of each other.

I like to believe that it was meant for my wife to attend Morgan State and decide to settle  down in Washington, DC. Though I attended school at Florida State, I feel that It was meant for me to go there and meet a few exes from the DC metro area. Had it not been for them I probably would have never visited DC and maybe I wouldn’t have wanted to move there. Even though I was not dating these young ladies when I moved to the area, I now see that I was meant to be here.

There are always little things going on behind the scenes that we are not aware of. For instance, I remember moving to DC with no job and a few hundred dollars in my pocket. It took me months to land my first real job so I had to work in a coffee shop just to have a little spending money. It was there that I met a woman who offered me a temp job with Lockheed Martin. A few months later I landed a permanent position with the company in another division. Had I not gotten this job, I may have never met my wife’s Morgan State classmate and ultimately I may not have met my wife.

At the time I had locks and my co-worker suggested that I get my hair done by her friend Lea. Never in my wildest imaginations did I think that this advice would lead me to the woman who I would later marry. At that point in time, I was heart broken and not looking to date anyone. My wife was in the middle of a break up herself so we didn’t get together right away. It took a few years for us to start dating but it was because of that chance meeting five years ago that we became interested in each other.

So you may be reading this wondering what point I am trying to make. I guess what I want people to know is that there is a plan for all of our lives. When we make certain decisions and suffer certain set backs, it’s easy to feel down and out but something bigger is in play. You date people and because things don’t work out, you feel as if you made a foolish decision. Some people can become very hard on themselves and shut down. Don’t allow yourself to give up and never allow someone to take your spirit and drive. What I’ve learned is that every bad situation has led me to the beautiful place that I am now. Sometimes your wishes are not fulfilled because something far greater was meant for you.

My name is Ilex Bien-Aime and I live in Washington, DC with my lovely wife. I write as a man who has seen women mistreat themselves and who have allowed themselves to be mistreated. I write as a man who wants to give my future daughters a guideline on how to deal with men. Lastly I write what I write because my female friends are always asking my opinion about these situations. Connect with Ilex at or via email

10 replies
  1. Kelli
    Kelli says:

    I love when you write because we're from the same place (Ft. Lauderdale) :). Very nice article (even if it's from a Seminole, lol). My ex is from DC and I like to believe I met him to teach me everything I know about the kind of man to NOT date. I thank him for wisdom that allowed me to be the wife of a great man and the mother of his children.

  2. Richard
    Richard says:

    It's as if this article called me. When things don't go my way, I beat myself down and adds to my overall unhappiness. Thank you for the inspiration and motivation.

    • Bree
      Bree says:

      Great and inspiring post.

  3. NotsureAnymore
    NotsureAnymore says:

    I believe in things happening for a reason, even if your married. If things are right at home, one wouldn’t wander. Life is short. Decisions may not be the sole cause of your spouse, but they will be impacted.

  4. Mike
    Mike says:

    Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. anonie
    anonie says:

    I read this post this morning and I am back reading it again because it encourages me to keep the faith. I am going through a stripping/cleansing phase in my life dealing directly with relationships and it is hard. I have times like tonight that I feel lonely and I have to pray for strength not to become to weak or weary. I know that I will look back on this day when my husband and life partner is finally in my life and say that it was worth it. Your article gives me that inspiration to keep the faith.

    • VCaldwell
      VCaldwell says:

      Just remember what dreams fulfilled feels like and the goals that you have accomplished in the past. There was a time when you probably did believe they were going to be acheived, but, they were. This is the same perspective that you need to have about your present situation. Take courage and know that the best is yet to come for you.

      • Lance
        Lance says:

        Your words are exactly what I was saying to myself the other day. I tend to get down on myself and I know I shouldn't and I know that "this too shall pass" but I can't help how helpless I feel. Recently I decided that I was going to to commit to reading something at all times….whether it be self help or motivational and that I'm going to seek out some groups to join in my area of people who are like minded. I always feel better when I'm staying connected to wise words and wise people.

  6. Missy
    Missy says:

    I am really thankful for finding this article today. I feel like God led me to this website and to your words Ilex. #Forevergrateful

  7. Tawnya
    Tawnya says:

    Very inspiring.

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