Sorry Hubby: No Weight Loss. No Sex.

By Briana Myricks

I have your attention, don’t I? Well hopefully I have my husband’s attention as well. Stop acting like you’re in the 3rd grade. This 3 letter word is a reality, especially in a marriage. However, it’s not happening until I lose weight.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you understand that my weight and my health has been a major issue. I’ve tried juicing, I’ve tried walking, I’ve tried a diet. However, all of these efforts have been short lived. I’m not one to blame others for my shortcomings. I take responsibility for my lack of weight loss. However, it’s more than me just sticking to a plan. Along with lack of support from my doctors, who seem not to take my pre-diabetes and PCOS seriously, there’s another culprit keeping me from being the healthiest I can be: my husband.

My husband is the ultimate diet sabotager, and that’s not even a word. He’s awful. He tempts me into unhealthy choices like fast food, burgers, and fries. When we go grocery shopping, he still insists on getting something fast and fattening. When I try to adjust and eat healthier, he doesn’t support me. He may be skinny, but I think a healthier diet could help us both out. Instead, he totes Taco Bell and In-N-Out in my face. I try to drink water, he buys sodas. I ask for fruit, he asks for fries. When I ask him to go walking with me, he complains either about the time, the weather, or his back suddenly starts aching. I’m taking matters into my own hands.

I announced to him this weekend that I will not be having sex until I lose weight. He sort of laughed it off, thinking I won’t stick with it, but I have every intention of sticking to my plan. I’m not a prude, and I’m not addicted to sex, so while it’ll be a challenge, I certainly won’t be dying to go against it. Not only that, honestly, I’ve been so uncomfortable with my weight, I have been resisting sex. I don’t feel sexy at all, and I’ve been beyond self conscious about my body. I can’t even look at myself naked, let alone want anyone else doing so. He says he doesn’t have a problem with my body but I do.

So the plan is to lose 30 pounds. As of this morning, I’m back at 191.6 after I had lost weight by incorporating juicing. That’s because hubby’s been wanting pizza and Jack in the Box and blah blah blah. I know, I’m a big girl (literally), I can make my own food choices. However, it’s that much more difficult when the one person who should be supporting you is actually sabotaging your diet. So I’ve taken what may seem to be drastic measures.

I didn’t swear off sex forever. I made some deals. For every 5 pounds lost, we can do the deed. So that’s up to 6 scheduled times haha. I don’t have an actual timeline or deadline, so it’s up to us as to how often that will be. I’m hoping that using this as leverage will be an incentive for him to encourage me and help me with my weight loss. Maybe he’ll actually exercise with me now. Maybe he’ll realize he’s tempting me to eat unhealthy as opposed to going down the BMI chart, since I’m officially obese. These are more hopes than realities.

Most people who see me would beg to differ, but I try to wear clothes that mask the obvious, which doesn’t always work. There will be people who think I’m insane to do this (my BFF has already said I’m crazy). However, my weight is such a burden, such a problem, that I dread sex anyways and feel uncomfortable. So this is what I’m going to do.

So cuddle up babe. You won’t be getting any until I see some results.

What do you think? Is this a good idea or bad idea? TMI? Any tips or suggestions?

I’m Briana, a 20 year old newlywed and freelance writer/blogger. I was engaged to my high school sweetheart when I started my blog,, and we married after being together for almost 4 years. We decided to ditch the expensive “dream wedding” and opted for a courthouse ceremony instead. After being laid off, I started an online business of freelance writing, sites and services called Engaged Media. You can check out more of my writings at

10 replies
  1. Mario
    Mario says:

    Oh, please don't do this to your husband. Drop those ugly looking fat just for him.

  2. Tamisha
    Tamisha says:

    I am sure you look fine but if you are uncomfortable with the way you look then definitely stick to it. We as women are so hard on ourselves its a shame. I don't think withholding sex is the best solution when sex itself can be an exercise routine. Why not have a night where hubby can sit back and you do all the work? I promise you will work up a sweat, work some of those muscles, thus lose weight.

  3. Ciara
    Ciara says:

    I would say that this is not a good idea & here is why…Im not sure what u believe but I believe that n a marriage sex is very important & there has 2 b a mutual agreement 2 abstain from sex. As a single woman sex could b considered a privilege but n a marriage sex is 1 of the many ways to grow closer 2 your spouse physically, intimately, emotionally, etc. I think u should find another route 2 pull motivation that is not only your husband. Try rallying with girlfriends or joining a weight loss group like weight watcher or jenny craig. something that will help u with motivation & thinking of ways 2 avoid the negative temptations of food. Trust u r not alone there r several people, both men & women who complain of the exact same thing. I fear that eventually your husband will get fed up with u holding out on him and it will create unnecessary tension between u 2. It may seem cute now but eventually someone will get frustrated because their needs are not being met. That could be u because he still tries 2 have sex and your weight is not moving or it could be him because he is being denied the intimate connection with the woman he loves.
    Lastly…HAVE SEX!!! not only does it stimulate the body but it is a GREAT calorie burner.

  4. Jay
    Jay says:

    Ok I've been where you are. I had both pre-diabetes and PCOS, along with the world's fastest growing fibroids. You need to see a gynocologist who will take it very seriously that you have an underlying hormonal imbalance. Addressing the underlying hormonal issues helped me to resolve the issues you've mentioned including my weight. I also withdrew from the bedroom because I was uncomfortable about my body and that did not help. Cutting off physical intimacy only made me feel worse about my body. Having someone who truly loves you accept your body kind of helps you to accept your body. Accepting your body doesn't mean that you stop striving to be healthy but you don't have to feel bad about your body in that process.

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