The Golden Rule Of Marriage: Cause Only Those Things Which Your Spouse Is Able To Experience Easily.

By Stan Dubin

I was reading a book called “New Slant on Life” by L. Ron Hubbard the other day and picked up two new jewels I want to share with you:


“There are two rules for happy living:


“1. Be able to experience anything.”


“2. Cause only those things which others are able to experience easily.”


I would first like to discuss rule #2: “Cause only those things which others are able to experience easily.”


How well do you apply this to your spouse? To your boyfriend; girlfriend? To your boss; your employees?


How often do you cause something that another does NOT experience easily? And when that does happen, what kind of other effects are you left with? You usually have upsets, some of which may linger for some time.


Step back and reflect for a few seconds. If you saw completely eye to eye with “cause only those things which others are able to experience easily”, you could virtually eliminate all upsets from your life.


If your marriage were free from upsets, what kind of an effect would this have?


Some people think that upsets are a “fact of life” and that every marriage has them. Well, so far that’s very true. They indeed are a fact of life. But you could go very far in reducing the number of upsets by applying just one principle: “cause only those things which others are able to experience easily.”


Next time you find yourself in a situation where your next action or your next communication is NOT going to be experienced easily, CHANGE the action, CHANGE the communication to something that CAN be experienced easily.


This principle may sound very, very simple. And indeed it is. But it is also very powerful.


Which brings us to rule #1: “Be able to experience anything.”


This principle doesn’t really leave much for interpretation, does it? Anything means anything! So whatever comes your way, be able to experience it.


If your wife comes up to you and tells you she just overdrew the checking account, BE ABLE TO EXPERIENCE that.


In this one example, we have the wife causing something that the husband might not experience very easily. But instead of the husband going into a major tirade, he decides that he is ABLE TO EXPERIENCE it. This situation has definite potential for causing an upset, an upset that might affect the overall condition of the marriage. But one person stepped up and applied one of the two rules for happy living.


Now, if BOTH partners were working earnestly on applying BOTH rules for happy living, we would indeed have a much happier marriage.


Use these two rules to the best of your ability. You will find every one of your relationships improving daily!



Stan Dubin has been married for over 25 years and during that time he’s used a good deal of information to keep his marriage at a high level.  Visit him at Marriage

1 reply
  1. Just Some Dude
    Just Some Dude says:

    This may be a tough one…but I think that I may be able to handle it

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