The Value Of Agreeing To Disagree For The Happiness Of Your Relationship

By Dr. Patty Ann

We all have our own individual “hot buttons”. I am pretty sure you know what I mean but here are a few examples. You might have a particular way you like to hang the towels in the bathroom or a special way you like to fold your clothes. On a more serious note, you might hold a staunch political position or religious belief.

Whatever your partner’s “hot button” might be, it doesn’t make any sense for you to antagonize and challenge them about these issues because it is a losing proposition. In case you are unaware of your partner’s “hot buttons” they are the topics you bring up which always ends up in a fight.

Now I am not suggesting you cannot have a healthy conversation about differences and emotionally loaded issues in your relationship. What I am suggesting however; is the importance of having to accept the fact that there will be issues where you and your partner will never see eye to eye. It is during these situations where it is best to respectfully agree to disagree with your partner.

All couples have issues that cannot be resolved. For example, you are never going to convince your partner that your way of loading the dishwasher is the right way, or your political view is the correct one. A healthy relationship is not predicated only upon the similarities a couple shares together. Rather, a healthy relationship is also manifested in the ability for couples to disagree with each other on emotionally sensitive issues. The manner in which a couple agrees to disagree reflects the health of the relationship.

The next time an issue comes up in your relationship that pushes your partner’s “hot button” remember that the issue will probably remain unresolved between the two of you. In these circumstances, (and we all have them) the key for a healthy, happy relationship is to respectfully agree to disagree.

Dr. Patty Ann is a world renowned relationship expert coach and a licensed psychotherapist who has helped HUNDREDS of people LEARN HOW TO increase romance and happiness in their relationships. Dr. Patty Ann has been happily married for 25 years. While raising 4 children together, Dr. Patty Ann and her husband have seen all the ups & downs that a relationship goes through and ARE STILL IN LOVE AND COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER. Visit her at