Time Out For Foolishness…Life Can Change In An Instant
by Cynthia M. Dismuke On December 28, 2010, I found my husband on the bathroom floor nonresponsive. His eyes were wide open but no movement, not even a blink. As I dialed 911 simultaneously calling his name, our whole life together flashed before my eyes. Everything that I was angry about, disgruntled about, sad about went away instantly. As he lay on the floor, I began to cry out to him telling him. “Come on man, you can’t do this now!” He looked as though he was deceased. After about two minutes, he began to come around and I was breathing a sigh of relief.
If he had died, in an instant our lives would have been changed forever. This made me think about how trivial some arguments and disagreements can be. Sunday, I was barely speaking to him because of something he had said while my parents were visiting for the holidays. The following Tuesday, I was dialing 911 not knowing what type of crisis we were about to encounter.
The things we hold on to and argue about seem so important in the moment. But, we can’t allow our pride, ego and selfishness to ruin our lives and relationships. We have to stop taking each other for granted; tomorrow is not promised to you. We spend so much time getting caught up in the little things that we often don’t realize what really matters until it is too late.
Seeing my husband lying on the floor looking like a dead man made me think about how life is too short and too fragile for foolishness. Yes, there are legitimate issues that may come into debate throughout relationships but what is legitimate and what is foolishness?
I once had a neighbor whose husband was a pilot. They had been fighting about him proceeding with his flight plans in spite of the incumbent weather. Against her request, he decided to go with his flight plans anyway. He tried calling her before he departed, but she was too angry to answer the phone so she ignored his call and continued lunch with her girlfriends. So, he left her a voicemail message and took off. Later that day his helicopter crashed. He and his entire flight crew were killed. She was left with deep regrets, two young boys to raise and a voicemail message.
LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCES OF OTHERS!
- If you are having differences, work them out.
- If you are having martial conflict that you have not been able to resolve among yourselves; get a marriage coach or seek pastoral or professional counseling.
- Put away your pride and learn to say, “I’m sorry, will you forgive me?”
- When someone asks for your forgiveness, give it. When you forgive, you are not pretending that something hasn’t happened; you are simply releasing the right to punish them.
Each day we are provided the opportunity to live, love, give and respect each other. Don’t waste it on foolishness. Life is truly about perspective and what you make out of it. Don’t allow what happened to me and my neighbor to become your story.
Cynthia M. Dismuke is a Spiritual Advisor and founder of Still I Rise Ministries. She is also the creator of Free and Unashamed, a support group for women who have survived physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. She loves empowering women to become who God created them to be with practical applications of God’s Word. She strongly believes that life experiences are lessons to be shared to educate, free and empower others. She is the mother of five, grandmother of two and resides in Texas with her husband of twenty years.
Oh Mommy this is so true!!!! We get so caught up in the distractions of life that we forget what truly matters. Letting the distractions of the world distort our focus on what’s truly important. Life is surely to short for all the madness, anger, hurt and frustration. We have to get pass them forgive and cherish every second we have here with those who matter to us because no one is promised tomorrow.
I am so proud of you right now!!!! Smiling from ear to ear!!!
I don't know why but this post makes me think of the song by The Winans – Tomorrow, because people don’t only take each other for granted but we take God for granted also.
This speaks volume to any relationship, it teach us to live each day as it is the last!
The believed near death experience of your husband is the wake-up call and a beginning of a new walk. Many days the enemy will try and refute what the Holy Spirit has revealed to you; therefore it is highly important that you stay focus on giving your will to the Almighty God and refusing to take matters into your own hands. I pray that you and your husband will continue a loving and faithful relationship with the help of the Holy Spirit.
God's grace is sufficient! What an awesome testimony! We should never forget what's truly important. Love!
You are so right Kara. We should never forget. Lesson learned in what is truly important in life. When all is said and done, only our relationship God and other people will matter.
It is so important to live each day as if it is our last one, we truly don't know if it is or not. It takes too much power within to be mad and it is not of God. Remember we are walking examples of love, look in your mirror and see if you see that, if not, start working on it today!
We truly don't know what day will be the last and YES it does takes far more energy to be angry and upset. So, I choose to enjoy life. Thank you so much for your comment.
We really don't know what day will be our last day. And it does take too much energy to be upset, so we might as well choose to be happy and enjoy life.
This was powerful and beautifully worded. I loved the explanation for forgiveness. It makes forgiveness so much easier to do.