By Team BLAM
VIDEO: Marriage is a beautiful thing. Marriage is a wonderful thing. In fact, we believe marriage is an essential weapon for black folks to use against the epidemics of poverty, homelessness, crime, and poor education in our community. Simply put, marriage rocks.
However, we never want you to get our fundamental bottom line message twisted— more than anything we are advocates for healthy relationships.
How many of us know that there are a whole lot of people out here who are married in title only. They are doing anything and everything but acting like they are married. They are focused on themselves and not each other. They were invested in the wedding day and couldn’t give a damn about the actual marriage. A great deal of folks just didn’t know what this marriage thing was all about in the first place–so they eagerly got married but were ill-equipped to handle the responsibilities that come with being married.
So, again marriage is wonderful—but healthy relationships are where it’s really at. Relationships where the two people involved are serious about doing the personal work to be the best they can for themselves and each other.
Far too often we see folks (women more often than men) who are desperate and I mean DESPERATE to have somebody they can call “husband” that they will ignore all the warning signs, pretend that requirements have been met that never were, excuse behaviors that are a No-No, and basically drop their expectations because they just want to be married.
Well, the lesson of the day? DON’T DO THAT WOMEN!!! VALUE yourself. LOVE yourself. RESPECT yourself. SET STANDARDS for yourself. PROTECT yourself. BE HONEST with yourself. Marriage is serious business–for grown folks only and grown folks know how to make the difficult decision to walk away when necessary. Hats off to this sista who had the courage despite all of the pressure to just say NO.