VIDEO: The FAILED Proposal–When A Woman’s Self-Worth Trumps Her Desire To Be Married

By Team BLAM

VIDEO: Marriage is a beautiful thing. Marriage is a wonderful thing. In fact, we believe marriage is an essential weapon for black folks to use against the epidemics of poverty, homelessness, crime, and poor education in our community. Simply put, marriage rocks.

However, we never want you to get our fundamental bottom line message twisted— more than anything we are advocates for healthy relationships.

How many of us know that there are a whole lot of people out here who are married in title only. They are doing anything and everything but acting like they are married. They are focused on themselves and not each other. They were invested in the wedding day and couldn’t give a damn about the actual marriage. A great deal of folks just didn’t know what this marriage thing was all about in the first place–so they eagerly got married but were ill-equipped to handle the responsibilities that come with being married.

So, again marriage is wonderful—but healthy relationships are where it’s really at. Relationships where the two people involved are serious about doing the personal work to be the best they can for themselves and each other.

Far too often we see folks (women more often than men) who are desperate and I mean DESPERATE to have somebody they can call “husband” that they will ignore all the warning signs, pretend that requirements have been met that never were, excuse behaviors that are a No-No, and basically drop their expectations because they just want to be married.

Well,  the lesson of the day? DON’T DO THAT WOMEN!!! VALUE yourself. LOVE yourself. RESPECT yourself. SET STANDARDS for yourself. PROTECT yourself. BE HONEST with yourself. Marriage is serious business–for grown folks only and grown folks know how to make the difficult decision to walk away when necessary. Hats off to this sista who had the courage despite all of the pressure to just say NO.

6 replies
  1. Dee
    Dee says:

    Her stand against a future, unhappy marriage was awesome.

  2. brightestlight
    brightestlight says:

    It's sad because you can see that she was hurting and embarrassed by the situation he put her in. And now so many people will look to her for an explanation as to why she said "no". There were so many people in the room , but how many of those people actually supported their relationship before the bottles were brought out, cameras started flashing?

  3. Angie
    Angie says:

    Never do it in public! I've seen a couple of those on youtube that went soooo wrong!!

  4. Denise
    Denise says:

    I, too, commend her. Without knowing the back story (until my friend clued me in), it was obvious that there were some foul things afoot in this video. For one thing, anytime a man says, "I can't go back in time and change anything I've done" in his proposal, you already know it's wrong. And then, to listen to his language — "I HAVE to have you" — and to see how, despite her obvious reluctance, he looks to the crowd and further tries to pressure her to say "yes," it's so clear that his mode of operation is manipulation and his motives were all about himself. This wasn't a marriage proposal. It was a pacification for a wrong deed on his part. When I later learned that the brother was caughter cheating before this, everything then made perfect sense. The sad thing is this probably would have worked on someone else. Kudos to her.
    My recent post I Admit It… I’m a Punk

    • ruleyourwife
      ruleyourwife says:

      Great response, but I wouldn't expect nothing less from you. I didn't know the backdrop and I only heard I have to have you. But what trouble me from the start was this brother I to produce this eloborate showing. That just didn't set right with my spirit.

      Now let me go check out your recent post.
      My recent post, "The Healing of Kind Words"

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